FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,925
I dont want to die but i dont want to live neither. These thoughts torment me everyday. It never stops
I dont want to die because i dont want to be remebered as the girl who catched the bus but i dont want to live to see the next 10 years of my life. The fututre absolutely terrifies me
There is a part of me that wants to live but then there is a part of me that sees myself a loser and believes death is so much better than life.
The part of me that wants to live feel so free and happy but it is so short lived.
My sucidial thoughts make me feel everything is impossible and nothing can change in my life.
Being sucidial i feel like i am in this hole and cant get out. I feel trapped by problems . Everything feels do dystophian and nothing is pleasurable.
The urgues to end it all never stops. It is feels so intense the thoughts never stops.
Why do i want to die
-I am not where i am supposed to be. I should be having a descent job , initmate partner and more independent . I am 23 I feel like a failure and inadquate for not having these things.
If this is my life now i dont want to see the next 10 years
- i cant cope with life after university . I have all the free time and now i am depressed as i have no purpose. I was so used to studying now i feel so lost without my student idenitiy
The recession . I would rather die of covid 19 than live through recession
- i have an 11 month gap in my cv due to struggling finding a job after graduating. I am never going to find a job
I dont want to die because i dont want to be remebered as the girl who catched the bus but i dont want to live to see the next 10 years of my life. The fututre absolutely terrifies me
There is a part of me that wants to live but then there is a part of me that sees myself a loser and believes death is so much better than life.
The part of me that wants to live feel so free and happy but it is so short lived.
My sucidial thoughts make me feel everything is impossible and nothing can change in my life.
Being sucidial i feel like i am in this hole and cant get out. I feel trapped by problems . Everything feels do dystophian and nothing is pleasurable.
The urgues to end it all never stops. It is feels so intense the thoughts never stops.
Why do i want to die
-I am not where i am supposed to be. I should be having a descent job , initmate partner and more independent . I am 23 I feel like a failure and inadquate for not having these things.
If this is my life now i dont want to see the next 10 years
- i cant cope with life after university . I have all the free time and now i am depressed as i have no purpose. I was so used to studying now i feel so lost without my student idenitiy
The recession . I would rather die of covid 19 than live through recession
- i have an 11 month gap in my cv due to struggling finding a job after graduating. I am never going to find a job
