distracting yourself only makes it harder when the distraction passes. up until a month or two ago i would still look at myself in the mirror and admire my physique and my looks in the mirror/on my phone and even though sometimes it would increase my depression as a reminder of what i have lost as i look nothing like i used to do in my prime and look so much worse after losing weight i sometimes still got that short release of endorphins and feel good bounce about how i looked still. but i've stopped doing that now because with how everything else in my life (or lack of) makes me sad i can't take getting that feel good feeling just to have the inevitable come down because it hits so much harder remembering and grieving what you have lost in life when you were briefly happy in a moment. it is the same with jamming out to hard adrenalin baseline music that i love or other small endorphin releasing thingslike putting on comfy clothes, excercising, having a cold shower, drinking coffee, having a walk. even more so when you have the extra loaded connections to that endorphin related stuff to the person i am grieving over and is perhaps why the brief moment of happiness passes very quickly because the memory is right there in those things even in my own body and my own physique because that is ultimately all I was to this person I was grieving because I had nothing else to offer and once someone else could offer that to the wayside I went. if anything it is easier to cope when you dont do anything good for yourself and effectively don't live because that inconsistency and changing however briefly between feeling is so hard to take. i think that is why depressed people are often so low-functioning - because living is such an emotional rollercoaster that they cannot take.
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