Discussion i don’t like the thought of mental helplines + giving advice to someone suicidal is difficult

[cyanidekitty]

correction; mental helplines just need some work, sorry for my mistake </3

id like to get other people's inputs & opinions on this as well if possible!

i hope this isn't complicated because its kind of all over the place but i've never texted/called one but to me (wether its a real person or not) it just doesnt seem entirely helpful. especially since ive heard instances of people being put on hold (!???!)

while i do understand that giving advice/trying to save someone from suicide can be very difficult i feel like said person would just be better off getting help from a close friend or family member (if thats what they even want because not everyone wants a solution because to them— suicide IS the solution)

& im saying this as someone who has given advice to people in the past & has tried to take my own advice such as "it'll get better over time" (i've now learned that in most cases, this is an ignorant statement to make atleast imo because most people have been waiting & waiting & waiting & waiting & waiiiitinngg for something to change.)

so (again in my opinion & because i have suicidal fantasies of my own and have had them since i was 10 + i have met & associated with suicidal people in the past as well) i believe that most people just want to be heard or seen even if they are not suicidal or are dealing with any mental illness(es).

 

[orcapythia]

Some of the people calling won't have close friends or family members. I do agree that helplines could use a lot of work.

 

[thefarter]

honestlyyyy in the past when i've called suicide hotlines. they will just let you cry it out and listen to you. that's the main thing. and if you say anything that will sound like you're going to hurt yourself, they double check that you are not gonna hurt yourself. i think they also ask if you know who else to contact (local mental health services etc).

ummmm yeh.
but you're right about wanting to be heard/seen.

before i got to the point of buying my SN, i tried a lot to forge some friendships where i might be able to have someone listen or (potentially) understand where i was coming from after being doxxed. unfortunately, everybody i approached was treating me strangely and i assume this is because they knew i was doxxed. so i just became the evil person. that deserved to be ridiculed.

 

[cazza82]

id like to get other people's inputs & opinions on this as well if possible!

i hope this isn't complicated because its kind of all over the place but i've never texted/called one but to me (wether its a real person or not) it just doesnt seem helpful whatsoever. especially since ive heard instances of people being put on hold (!???!)

while i do understand that giving advice/trying to save someone from suicide can be very difficult i feel like said person would just be better off getting help from a close friend or family member (if thats what they even want because not everyone wants a solution because to them— suicide IS the solution)

& im saying this as someone who has given advice to people in the past & has tried to take my own advice such as "it'll get better over time" (i've now learned that in most cases, this is an ignorant statement to make atleast imo because most people have been waiting & waiting & waiting & waiting & waiiiitinngg for something to change.)

so (again in my opinion & because i have suicidal fantasies of my own and have had them since i was 10 + i have met & associated with suicidal people in the past as well) i believe that most people just want to be heard or seen even if they are not suicidal or are dealing with any mental illness(es).

What about people that have absolutely no one no real support system around them. All I have is my mental health counselor

 

[cyanidekitty]

Some of the people calling won't have close friends or family members. I do agree that helplines could use a lot of work.

yes you're right i shouldnt have said that they are of no use. instead they can use some work and not all are bad!

honestlyyyy in the past when i've called suicide hotlines. they will just let you cry it out and listen to you. that's the main thing. and if you say anything that will sound like you're going to hurt yourself, they double check that you are not gonna hurt yourself. i think they also ask if you know who else to contact (local mental health services etc).

ummmm yeh.
but you're right about wanting to be heard/seen.

before i got to the point of buying my SN, i tried a lot to forge some friendships where i might be able to have someone listen or (potentially) understand where i was coming from after being doxxed. unfortunately, everybody i approached was treating me strangely and i assume this is because they knew i was doxxed. so i just became the evil person. that deserved to be ridiculed.

im sorry about that :( i shouldve specified instead that the helplines just need some work instead. & i hope that you maybe have some better people in your life and if you dont just know that i care about what you have to say and its unfair people treated you cruely.

What about people that have absolutely no one no real support system around them. All I have is my mental health counselor

sorry, should've specified that they need some work instead (im not sure if i can edit the thread or not cuz im relatively new to posting lol) but while i am happy you have someone i am still sad that they're the only person you really have. i hope they continue to help you through your journey tho <33

 

[Dejected 55]

I think there is a definite need for quality help lines... It's just that in my experience and most of the experiences I've seen related from others online who have called a help line or used a text-based or chat-based help line service... the attention, care, interest, expertise on the other end of the line is usually woefully lacking.

 

[SufferingDev]

Mental help lines? like the telephone - oh boy, Ive called one long time ago. Ironically, felt even worse after that because they tried to tell me my mother who had hurt me is trying to help me - I wasn't in that bad state so I didn't do anything to myself - but oh well...

my bf who let's say has more insights on that topic told me people answering the phones are terapists - okay then I need to check what university did they graduate from and how much for the diploma

 

[cyanidekitty]

I think there is a definite need for quality help lines... It's just that in my experience and most of the experiences I've seen related from others online who have called a help line or used a text-based or chat-based help line service... the attention, care, interest, expertise on the other end of the line is usually woefully lacking.

exactlyy i should've said this previously instead of downright dissing it because this itself is more my thoughts on helplines.

you're very eloquent with your words haha

Mental help lines? like the telephone - oh boy, Ive called one long time ago. Ironically, felt even worse after that because they tried to tell me my mother who had hurt me is trying to help me - I wasn't in that bad state so I didn't do anything to myself - but oh well...

my bf who let's say has more insights on that topic told me people answering the phones are terapists - okay then I need to check what university did they graduate from and how much for the diploma

see thats apart of the issue because i feel that some if not most of these helplines dont actually consider the person in need of help.
i hope you feel atleast semi-better & that your bf is a good support system as well as partner to you :3

 

[SufferingDev]

see thats apart of the issue because i feel that some if not most of these helplines dont actually consider the person in need of help.

I can only speak from experience but I see it wasn't only my case - again, I'm looking forward to know how much for the diploma ^^"

 

[Dejected 55]

exactlyy i should've said this previously instead of downright dissing it because this itself is more my thoughts on helplines.

you're very eloquent with your words haha

Thanks... My experience calling seems to mirror what I hear from others in that it felt very much like the person answering the phone for the help line was basically running down a checklist. I actually used their chat so I could type my thoughts. When you first enter the chat, before the person comes on, you are asked to provide a brief summary of why you "called" them. I did that and the person came on the chat and started asking me questions I already covered in the summary and literally would not do anything else until I literally cut and pasted the text a second time, because I wasn't about to type it all in again. I asked them why they asked me to provide info and then asked me questions that I'd already answered. They said they had to ask those questions.

So, basically, the person admitted to me they followed a checklist... and I could kind of tell where it was going depending on how I answered. They were not at all helpful. I got the impression that IF I'd sounded "I'm going to kill myself now" that they would have traced the call and sent police to where I was... but short of that, they just had the goal of getting through their checklist and getting off the phone. I literally was disconnected from the chat on one session when they reached the end of their checklist and they knew I wasn't going to kill myself that night.

 

[cyanidekitty]

Thanks... My experience calling seems to mirror what I hear from others in that it felt very much like the person answering the phone for the help line was basically running down a checklist. I actually used their chat so I could type my thoughts. When you first enter the chat, before the person comes on, you are asked to provide a brief summary of why you "called" them. I did that and the person came on the chat and started asking me questions I already covered in the summary and literally would not do anything else until I literally cut and pasted the text a second time, because I wasn't about to type it all in again. I asked them why they asked me to provide info and then asked me questions that I'd already answered. They said they had to ask those questions.

So, basically, the person admitted to me they followed a checklist... and I could kind of tell where it was going depending on how I answered. They were not at all helpful. I got the impression that IF I'd sounded "I'm going to kill myself now" that they would have traced the call and sent police to where I was... but short of that, they just had the goal of getting through their checklist and getting off the phone. I literally was disconnected from the chat on one session when they reached the end of their checklist and they knew I wasn't going to kill myself that night.

yeah i dont like the idea of them going by a checklist. i rather them actually read through & to get an understanding of how to assess the situation better. also some compassion would be great loll

 

[Dejected 55]

yeah i dont like the idea of them going by a checklist. i rather them actually read through & to get an understanding of how to assess the situation better. also some compassion would be great loll

Yeah, they need training and guidance and I appreciate if the helpline wants to have a general modus operandi to process incoming calls... but you can't exude any kind of expertise or care for someone when you are reading a script and stammering through when their answers don't fit nicely in your script. I feel like somewhere along the line people in general forgot how to learn things and can only memorize things now.

I have had so many experiences with people where they know the answer to a textbook example of a situation... but if reality is even a little different than the exact way they learned it, they are clueless and don't know what to do. When you look at things humanity has created, it really stands out how ineffectual most people are when you drop them into a situation that requires the least bit of original independent thought.