I don't know who I really am

[rotten]

This probably won't make much sense but I'm not really sure which aspects of my personality are real and which are fake. For example I sort of made a friend recently. I've been talking to them very kindly and for quite a while now. Problem is everytime I'm nice I feel like I'm fake, like that's not the real me. But at the same time I have no inclination to act rude or violent towards anyone (except one family member) And now I feel bad that my friend thinks I'm something that I'm probably not.

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate!
I had been pretending for so many years that I had forgotten who I was but now I just know it: There are two "Matts", the "smiling and positive one, who does his best when teaching and helping people" and the "depressed bipolar Matt who wants to cry and give up on life but somehow, gets up and keeps on fighting (for now)"

I've just accepted that there are two guys inside of me lol.

Hope you can find yourself too.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

Sometimes I act certain ways around other people but I know deep down it is all an act - I feel like I can only be my true self in my own mind. I do often feel disconnected from the way I am acting. It can be hard dealing with these type of thoughts, it is one of the exhausting things about being alive. I wish you the best.