I don't know if I can stay here

[hiddenbpd]

I'm starting to think that SS is not a good place for me. When I first came here, I thought I found a place where people would be understanding and supportive, and I have found that in some accounts. But I've also had the opposite. I've been made to feel terrible about myself, which mind you, doesn't take much to accomplish. But if I want to make my choice about whether to ctb, I need to be careful that I'm making the decision for myself and not for how someone else feels about my life.

 

[jodes2]

What bad experiences have you had here?? So sorry, it's been 99% supportive for me

 

[SectOfValtiel]

yeah, i guess ive had some similar experiences...
on one hand theres so many people here that absolutely have felt the way you do
a lot of people that even share similar experiences
the sense of community is strong and even when people dont understand, a lot will try their best to support you in it anyway
thats valuable, it is

but ive also been given some really terrible advice by people here when it comes to my mental health lmao, especially lately
extremely unhealthy suggestions
even a few suggesting that something i absolutely know is a problem in my life, isnt actually that bad for me after all
and... its been very common for someone to push their views on mental health onto me, maybe even subconsciously
at least thats been my experience

i guess its important to remember that a large majority of the people that find themselves here are not fully-functional human beings
a lot of us are here *because* we are unhealthy in some way, damage, and a bunch of damaged people in the same room can be dangerous
a lot of us are vulnerable- and unfortunately plenty are manipulative too, even when we dont intend to be
i think that just comes with the territory
ive discovered the hard way how badly someone like me can hurt someone else
and how badly i can be hurt by someone else like me, as well

what im saying is, I get why youd want to separate yourself from this
and i can respect wanting that decision to come entirely from yourself
i think some time away would be a good thing

 

[hiddenbpd]

yeah, i guess ive had some similar experiences...
on one hand theres so many people here that absolutely have felt the way you do
a lot of people that even share similar experiences
the sense of community is strong and even when people dont understand, a lot will try their best to support you in it anyway
thats valuable, it is

but ive also been given some really terrible advice by people here when it comes to my mental health lmao, especially lately
extremely unhealthy suggestions
even a few suggesting that something i absolutely know is a problem in my life, isnt actually that bad for me after all
and... its been very common for someone to push their views on mental health onto me, maybe even subconsciously
at least thats been my experience

i guess its important to remember that a large majority of the people that find themselves here are not fully-functional human beings
a lot of us are here *because* we are unhealthy in some way, damage, and a bunch of damaged people in the same room can be dangerous
a lot of us are vulnerable- and unfortunately plenty are manipulative too, even when we dont intend to be
i think that just comes with the territory
ive discovered the hard way how badly someone like me can hurt someone else
and how badly i can be hurt by someone else like me, as well

what im saying is, I get why youd want to separate yourself from this
and i can respect wanting that decision to come entirely from yourself
i think some time away would be a good thing

Yup you're definitely right. Things can get iffy when you put a bunch of low people with decreased resiliency and/or increased sensitivity in one place with very little moderation.

 

[noaccount]

Feeling terrible about things one has done, can actually be the first growth-pangs of a conscience, which can lead to re-evaluating one's values, apologizing or making amends to people whose boundaries (or bodily autonomy) one has violated - or, if that's not possible, vowing to never repeat the kinds of actions you've realized were wrong to commit (even if the government or your boss says it's okay to do), and making it clear that you don't condone that shit happening to anyone else either.

 

[Ashu]

Feeling terrible about things one has done, can actually be the first growth-pangs of a conscience, which can lead to re-evaluating one's values, apologizing or making amends to people whose boundaries (or bodily autonomy) one has violated - or, if that's not possible, vowing to never repeat the kinds of actions you've realized were wrong to commit (even if the government or your boss says it's okay to do), and making it clear that you don't condone that shit happening to anyone else either.

Could I bring this vendetta to the attention of a moderator, this truly vicious an possibly lethal hounding of hiddenbpd by noaccount? This is not the place for you to act out your obsessions on other vulnerable people, to bully them into mouthing confessions and repentances that you need to hear from people in your past. This is a place of refuge for suicidal people. Talk that could kill another member, belongs elsewhere.

 

[jodes2]

Wtf, what bastard made you feel bad about yourself? I'll spam them with hate mail til I'm banned. I'm half way there anyway

 

[Susannah]

I'm starting to think that SS is not a good place for me. When I first came here, I thought I found a place where people would be understanding and supportive, and I have found that in some accounts. But I've also had the opposite. I've been made to feel terrible about myself, which mind you, doesn't take much to accomplish. But if I want to make my choice about whether to ctb, I need to be careful that I'm making the decision for myself and not for how someone else feels about my life.

So sorry for your bad experience here. Maybe this site isn't good for some people. I have been here 4y, and I have the opposite experience. I do not ask much for advices, though. Not here, not in real life. Been there, done that. It didn't work out as good advices for me. We're only humans, with a bunch of problems. It's the same IRL. I only ask for advice from my closest ones. They really know me and my background.

Wish you the best
Lots of loveS

 

[makethepainstop]

I'm starting to think that SS is not a good place for me. When I first came here, I thought I found a place where people would be understanding and supportive, and I have found that in some accounts. But I've also had the opposite. I've been made to feel terrible about myself, which mind you, doesn't take much to accomplish. But if I want to make my choice about whether to ctb, I need to be careful that I'm making the decision for myself and not for how someone else feels about my life.

I hope not. Lots of people suffer different degrees of pain. I am so very sorry if some jerk here hurt you. Love.

 

[noaccount]

Could I bring this vendetta to the attention of a moderator, this truly vicious an possibly lethal hounding of hiddenbpd by noaccount? This is not the place for you to act out your obsessions on other vulnerable people, to bully them into mouthing confessions and repentances that you need to hear from people in your past. This is a place of refuge for suicidal people. Talk that could kill another member, belongs elsewhere.

Human rights belong everywhere. Naming the violence of psychiatric assault belongs everywhere.
Somehow you never seem to think about how apologia for it could kill victims/survivors - even though suicide rates skyrocket after psychiatric detention and are demonstratably higher in people whose communities blame them for what happened to them - why is that?

Wtf, what bastard made you feel bad about yourself? I'll spam them with hate mail til I'm banned. I'm half way there anyway

Come at me bro.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'm starting to think that SS is not a good place for me. When I first came here, I thought I found a place where people would be understanding and supportive, and I have found that in some accounts. But I've also had the opposite. I've been made to feel terrible about myself, which mind you, doesn't take much to accomplish. But if I want to make my choice about whether to ctb, I need to be careful that I'm making the decision for myself and not for how someone else feels about my life.

Please report users that make you feel that way. We'll look into it.

 

[hiddenbpd]

Human rights belong everywhere. Naming the violence of psychiatric assault belongs everywhere.
Somehow you never seem to think about how apologia for it could kill victims/survivors - even though suicide rates skyrocket after psychiatric detention and are demonstratably higher in people whose communities blame them for what happened to them - why is that?

Of course I'm not against human rights or wish ill upon anyone, especially those already suffering.
But not every single psychiatric place in existence or every single mental health worker acts the way you're referring. There are people who even voluntarily admit themselves because they find safety there. Go ahead and speak about human rights, but you're violating mine in the process. There is no reason to continue to target me.

 

[noaccount]

It's amazing how this user never get tired of lying. I have made no assumptions about groups of people.
Rather, she herself described - in a public thread that seems to be deleted now - how she forcibly drugged people against their will. And then proceded to DM me, without permission, long rants of apologia, including saying,

We implement something called least invasive. If the patient takes the medication with encouragement, great no force. If they don't, the amount of force needed increases.

Telling survivors how they NEEDED to have this done to them.
And no, I haven't opened their newer messages, because I don't consent to get fucked up DMs from them.

 

[hiddenbpd]

And no, I haven't opened their newer messages, because I don't consent to get fucked up DMs from them.

I haven't sent you any new messages actually. I deleted the chat because I made a huge error ever trying to reason with you, you're incapable of hearing anyone else's point of view.

It's amazing how this user never get tired of lying. I have made no assumptions about groups of people.
Rather, she herself described - in a public thread that seems to be deleted now - how she forcibly drugged people against their will.

What is it that you want from me? Or are you just going to continually post about me and how shitty I am?

 

[never mind me]

Hallo hiddenbdp, I'm sorry that you feel that SS is not a good place gor you. The problem about internet platforms is that plenty of annoying people direct their anger towards anyone they don't like. However, the good thing about the internet is that one can decide to ignore anyone one doesn't want to talk to. Actually I think writing on platforms like this one would be rather stressful, if one doesn't ignore certain people. In some cases it's just not worth the hassle to argue with certain persons. After all, you couldn't even know for sure, if they actually mean what they say or if it's just some stupid game to make others feel shitty. That's why I wouldn't bother to care about people who just try to vent their anger about life and/or bully others. Why bother and give them attention? There seems to be a possibility to ignore the posts of certain other users when you go into your settings, although I haven't yet managed to activate this function. But if you get this to work, maybe that's a solution for you?

 

[Grav]

If you're feeling like the site isn't helping, and possibly aggravating, your situation then by all means you should probably leave it for a while. If a user is the issue can you put them on ignore? Nobody needs more BS in their life.

 

[Pluto]

Most people would agree that this site has a very good side, and a very bad side too. If you can live without it, you are doing well and can hopefully recover. Otherwise, it's an artform to enjoy the benefits of solidarity and free speech here without being involuntarily consumed by the pit of doom. At the very least, it's a good idea to have holidays now and then. As for trouble with individual users, that is best addressed to moderators.

 

[noaccount]

Hallo hiddenbdp, I'm sorry that you feel that SS is not a good place gor you. The problem about internet platforms is that plenty of annoying people direct their anger towards anyone they don't like. However, the good thing about the internet is that one can decide to ignore anyone one doesn't want to talk to. Actually I think writing on platforms like this one would be rather stressful, if one doesn't ignore certain people. In some cases it's just not worth the hassle to argue with certain persons. After all, you couldn't even know for sure, if they actually mean what they say or if it's just some stupid game to make others feel shitty. That's why I wouldn't bother to care about people who just try to vent their anger about life and/or bully others. Why bother and give them attention? There seems to be a possibility to ignore the posts of certain other users when you go into your settings, although I haven't yet managed to activate this function. But if you get this to work, maybe that's a solution for you?

Sorry to hear that people who talk about psychiatric rape, and warn others when they recieve disgusting DMs in defense of it, are just an "annoyance" to you. Sorry your values are so tragically superficial!

Most people would agree that this site has a very good side, and a very bad side too. If you can live without it, you are doing well and can hopefully recover. Otherwise, it's an artform to enjoy the benefits of solidarity and free speech here without being involuntarily consumed by the pit of doom. At the very least, it's a good idea to have holidays now and then. As for trouble with individual users, that is best addressed to moderators.

Solidarity is an interesting concept indeed! At the very least, it involves not defending violations of people's bodies and minds. At the very least, it involves recognizing these assaults for what they are. At the very least, it involves not telling people that this "NEEDED" to be done to them.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Ita been supportive for me. Killing my self have 0% to do with ss. In fact I don't see anyone irl lissening to my mental baggage. Maybe not even a psychiatrist. If you have a good supportive and helpful entourage that listen and can handel your mental baggage, then maybe in that sens SS is not good for you. For me personally I don't care about others believe that this is a death cult or whatever .this a place for those have experienced too much of the cruelty of life with little or no help. For me personally it's a pro-choice. And I engage and communicate in that sens.

 

[Exact Change]

There are always some people who are too self-absorbed with their own issues to be supportive. Also, whenever we share our vulnerabilities we become targets for those who choose to judge rather than listen.

I encourage you to focus on those who are supportive. I think there will be more of those people than the ones who choose to tear down.

 

[noaccount]

There are always some people who are too self-absorbed with their own issues to be supportive. Also, whenever we share our vulnerabilities we become targets for those who choose to judge rather than listen.

I encourage you to focus on those who are supportive. I think there will be more of those people than the ones who choose to tear down.

Hi exactchange, just so you know, the criticism was not about her 'vulnerabilities' but rather about her bragging about having forced drugs into the bodies of non-consenting inmates.

 

[Exact Change]

Hi exactchange, just so you know, the criticism was not about her 'vulnerabilities' but rather about her bragging about having forced drugs into the bodies of non-consenting inmates.

I was only responding to the original post in addition to my own experiences here. I did not even read anything you might have responded with. I'm very sorry if you thought I was referring to your response. I was not.

 

[Blue_mist]

I find this forum very supportive, the worst thing happened to me here is just my threads and replies get ignored sometimes and it's my fault because i don't have the faculty to express myself in words.

 

[noaccount]

I was only responding to the original post in addition to my own experiences here. I did not even read anything you might have responded with. I'm very sorry if you thought I was referring to your response. I was not.

Right, I understood that. You were mentioning her sharing her vulnerabilities, but actually what she was sharing was that she forcibly involuntarily drugged non-consenting people.