Venting I don’t feel suicidal anymore

[guineapiglover8503]

I just started adderall for my adhd and I didn't notice how bad my adhd was. I went into my room and it was actually quiet for the first time in my head. I can control my thoughts and focus. I can even feel things better since I can focus on them, and I can even feel music better. Last night right after I ate I got this super blissful feeling because that was the first night in so long that I wasn't wanting to CTB and feeling devastated and worthless. This adderall is a life saver for me.

Thank you all for being here for me and I might be taking a break from this site for a while. I might also comeback soon in the future I don't know. All I know is for once I'm happy

I love you all
I also went for a 9 mile walk yesterday and it was so beautiful. I cried several times yesterday from how beautiful things were. I swear it was like putting on glasses for the first time. I don't think I've ever cried from happiness before

 

[FriesLovee]

How did u get diagnosed with the ADHD? Idk if I have it . Like how was your behaviour or actions befor r the meds?

 

[KillingPain267]

I'm happy for you

 

[guineapiglover8503]

How did u get diagnosed with the ADHD? Idk if I have it . Like how was your behaviour or actions befor r the meds?

I've been diagnosed since I was a toddler and I've been unmedicated since 2017 or 18. For me my mind always races and I struggle to stay on task and listen. I also exhibited most of the other classic ADHD symptoms to a smaller extent

I've been diagnosed since I was a toddler and I've been unmedicated since 2017 or 18. For me my mind always races and I struggle to stay on task and listen. I also exhibited most of the other classic ADHD symptoms to a smaller extent

It's very intertwined with my depression as well

 

[FriesLovee]

You still feel depressed? You said you don't feel suicidal which is amazing for u .

 

[guineapiglover8503]

You still feel depressed? You said you don't feel suicidal which is amazing for u .

Not really. It lingers a bit but I will try to increase the dose. When I don't eat a meal the adderall wears off so I go kinda back to normal but when I eat it comes back

 

[Fangarina]

I love this update.
This is a rare goodbye for now with a happy outcome.

I'm so pleased things are looking up for you. And I hope they keep going this way for you too.

I will always be pro choice, but I get a wee buzz out of seeing someone actually starting to lift the haze and find a better way forward for them.

Maybe see you in the future, and if not, take care - may the world continue to shine for you

 

[ctb2soble]

Yay, I am happy for you! Go out and enjoy life.

 

[CatLvr]

OMGosh!! I am SO happy for you!! I am ADHD also and I swear the yammering in my own head makes me downright MAD (Like Mad Hatter mad, not pissed off mad) sometimes. I have finally figured out a way to quiet it down a little bit and gosh the silence is brilliant when I shut my eyes. (Yeah, I see colors and lights and darkness with sound. It makes music absolutely stunning to "look" at.)

Anyway, your post has put a smile on my face while I sit here on my meal break at work, watching people come and go. It is always nice to see and hear of someone feeling better. Especially here on this forum where so many of us just need a little peace. I hope you find this lasts a long, long time for you!

 

[DaveNotSleeping]

This is fantastic. I'm happy for you. Not all meds work for everybody, but I'm glad you found something that works for you.

 

[misatosdiary]

Congratulations :-)

 

[beardyoldcorpse]

I'm glad you've found some happiness…..go live your life and make beautiful memories!

 

[Bear1234]

Yayy i love happy news <3 try to stay off this website and really enjoy your life fully!!

 

[maniac116]

Wow! Good news for you. I'm so glad you were able to get appropriate treatment for your ADHD

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Congrats. Wishing you the best

 

[vitbar]

Not really. It lingers a bit but I will try to increase the dose. When I don't eat a meal the adderall wears off so I go kinda back to normal but when I eat it comes back

Depression can become habitual. It becomes the new normal. It could fade more as how you are now becomes your new normal. I'm having a similar experience to you, but with antidepressants instead.

Pleased for you btw!

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

Very pleased and so glad that you are not suicidal anymore, I'm not sure where I belong, I'm 50/50, I don't want to ctb, and I don't want to live. Ironically for a website with a bad reputation for being pro-suicide, I feel much better talking to others here. Everyone is open here, being able to talk freely about how I feel, has allowed me to think much more clearly. I feel I belong here, I feel close to the people here, and in less than a month, have gotten to make some friends, there's far more care about others here, than I've found in a pysch's office. To be honest, psych's talk to you as if you are so retarded and so stupid, you don't know what day of the week it is. I rarely talk to them, unless I have to, and even then, I never tell them how I really feel. Here I left my emotions out, and that's just so enabling for me. I can't imagine me not being here on this site, its helped me alot. Stay safe, and take care.

 

[Innereye]

Dopamine deficiency is paralyzing glad you're getting it under control.