Venting I can't take it.

[human123]

my suicidal ideation has been getting a lot worse. i can't take it anymore. i want to die next time im alone for the whole day, so I wont be stopped. but my mom has spent thousands of dollars on me to take my to Disney this summer an the tickets are nonrefundable, even in the case of death. I would feel horrible to have my mom waste all that money on a corpse. I was going to commit on August 31, but im not sure if i can last that long. I'm scared of being institutionalized

 

[m3nhera]

my suicidal ideation has been getting a lot worse. i can't take it anymore. i want to die next time im alone for the whole day, so I wont be stopped. but my mom has spent thousands of dollars on me to take my to Disney this summer an the tickets are nonrefundable, even in the case of death. I would feel horrible to have my mom waste all that money on a corpse. I was going to commit on August 31, but im not sure if i can last that long. I'm scared of being institutionalized

Is she understanding enough to talk to her about this? Psych wards can be good or they can suck, if you don't want that risk, if your mom is understanding enough she could take care of you at home, like a psych ward but without all the bad stuff. I understand you don't want her to waste that money on a corpse, like rubbing salt in the wound of the non-refundable tickets. If you try and talk to her you're just trying to stay alive.

 

[human123]

Is she understanding enough to talk to her about this? Psych wards can be good or they can suck, if you don't want that risk, if your mom is understanding enough she could take care of you at home, like a psych ward but without all the bad stuff. I understand you don't want her to waste that money on a corpse, like rubbing salt in the wound of the non-refundable tickets. If you try and talk to her you're just trying to stay alive.

If I tell her ill go back to the mental hospital. she is also not in the state to deal with my mental issues.

 

[m3nhera]

my suicidal ideation has been getting a lot worse. i can't take it anymore. i want to die next time im alone for the whole day, so I wont be stopped. but my mom has spent thousands of dollars on me to take my to Disney this summer an the tickets are nonrefundable, even in the case of death. I would feel horrible to have my mom waste all that money on a corpse. I was going to commit on August 31, but im not sure if i can last that long. I'm scared of being institutionalized

Hey, just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, hope you're okay. Sorry if that sounds weird or something. Was just checking to see if you're still alive, says you were last active Tuesday. I hope things have been a bit better lately

 

[human123]

Hey, just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, hope you're okay. Sorry if that sounds weird or something. Was just checking to see if you're still alive, says you were last active Tuesday. I hope things have been a bit better lately

Im still alive, thanks for checking on me. but I did add more to my plan that I would act on August 31

 

[m3nhera]

Im still alive, thanks for checking on me. but I did add more to my plan that I would act on August 31

I feel compelled to stop you and normally here I am the type of person to just wish someone peace instead of trying to convince them to live(the pro-lifers have already done that to all of us). I'm not the kind of person to force anyone to live but I just have this FEELING and you can disregard me if you want but there is something that feels deeply wrong about you dying. I don't know why. I think you're making a huge mistake. Please see someone if you can. I know that's generic. Just wanted you to know. I'm serious.

 

[human123]

I feel compelled to stop you and normally here I am the type of person to just wish someone peace instead of trying to convince them to live(the pro-lifers have already done that to all of us). I'm not the kind of person to force anyone to live but I just have this FEELING and you can disregard me if you want but there is something that feels deeply wrong about you dying. I don't know why. I think you're making a huge mistake. Please see someone if you can. I know that's generic. Just wanted you to know. I'm serious.

Im thinking about telling my friend. I tried everything else

 

[m3nhera]

Im thinking about telling my friend. I tried everything else

Please tell someone. Anyone. A friend seems less risky than like a parent or something though so don't worry too much about it!

 

[human123]

Please tell someone. Anyone. A friend seems less risky than like a parent or something though so don't worry too much about it!

I told him. he said he wont tell but doesn't know what to say. when i asked if it would be wrong of me to kill myself he said "Yes... because you are one of the brightest people I have eve met and I was that light is never extinguished."

It is wordy but i think he was trying to say that it would be wrong of me to kill myself because im one of the brightest people he ment. im assuming he ment smartest

 

[tomame]

weekend's are the worst. it's so unbearable

i hate it here

 

[m3nhera]

I told him. he said he wont tell but doesn't know what to say. when i asked if it would be wrong of me to kill myself he said "Yes... because you are one of the brightest people I have eve met and I was that light is never extinguished."

It is wordy but i think he was trying to say that it would be wrong of me to kill myself because im one of the brightest people he ment. im assuming he ment smartest

That is very kind of him. It's proof people care about you, if it helps at all. I'm sorry about your pain. Today has been an especially hard day for me aswell and I just wanted to tell you no matter what, as long as you get through another day, that's all that matters.

 

[human123]

That is very kind of him. It's proof people care about you, if it helps at all. I'm sorry about your pain. Today has been an especially hard day for me aswell and I just wanted to tell you no matter what, as long as you get through another day, that's all that matters.

Thanks. what has been hard for you today?

 

[m3nhera]

Thanks. what has been hard for you today?

I forgot what was so hard that day, I have just been extra depressed lately for some reason.

 

[human123]

I forgot what was so hard that day, I have just been extra depressed lately for some reason.

Oh, i hope things be better for you. try to do things that make you happy and maybe talk to someone. i know it wont fix your depression, im in the same boat, but it might help a little