NSFW I can't stop touching myself (Tw: csa?) / Hypersexuality

[jeevasO-o]

It's stupid, but I genuinely can't stop doing it. I get horny from the stupidest things. I don't even want it or enjoy it. Why do I keep fantasizing about that?? I know hypersexuality, but from where do I have this?? How can I stop this? I'm so sick of masturbating before going to bed. It's like I'm forcing myself, I don't want it, but the urges are too much. I'm not even that wet mostly it's dry as fuck which makes it worse and more unpleasant. It's hurting and making me so sick and tired afterwards.

Not to mention the sick fantasies I keep having. It's like I wish I would get raped. I know I don't actually want it. I remember as a kid (don't know the age but my gut feeling is saying 6 years old. I know I was under 9 years though) where I had this one night I remember so vividly. I was in my bed

Spoiler: NSFW warning about a kid idk?

and touching myself but not enjoying it. While doing it I thought about how I get raped and experimented on. Then I kept thinking "in future I'll just be an experiment or something and get used", then I went to wash my hands, lied down with mixed feelings.

I don't remember ever experiencing sexual assault or rape though. (Except with

Spoiler: Csa

15 I got raped but I had it before that and the reason I got raped was because I thought I wanted it and let myself get used. Spoiler: I did not want it and yes..

) I know my parents kind of sexualized me but not in a way that they touched me or something. More like comments. "don't dress like a slut!" "Close your legs while sitting!" "do you wanna show your ass and tits to guys??" "If you are so naive you'll get raped" and shit like that. Not great, inappropriate yes. But they didn't do anything to me.

 

[tonicer]

Sounds to me like your parents tried to keep you safe but did it in a very harsh and demeaning way. I hope you can somehow control those urges you don't like so you feel better.

 

[Dreamwalker]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I feel like I can resonate in a way; maybe it's an expression of self-harm?

 

[jeevasO-o]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I feel like I can resonate in a way; maybe it's an expression of self-harm?

I didn't really think about it in that way I guess.. it could be

 

[Deepdense]

One of the things that works for me is, when I'm taking a shower- for the last 2 to four minutes- I turn the water down cold. It doesn't have to be cold enough to the point you're shivering, but cold enough to not be warm.

 

[tonicer]

One of the things that works for me is, when I'm taking a shower- for the last 2 to four minutes- I turn the water down cold. It doesn't have to be cold enough to the point you're shivering, but cold enough to not be warm.

Besides the psychological side cold exposure is also good for your body.

 

[spacealiens]

I have high libido too a had traumatic experiences in youth drugged up and raped cut myself and got sick after one particular event had crazy girls twice my age bothering me. Anyhow I would be somewhat hypersexual today watch alot of porn and started producing content but like my relationships have been nothing but crazy the first girl I was ever with killed someone and while locked up tried to gouge out police officers eye. it's only really older girls or crazy girls that are attracted to me it's too chaotic i don't like chaos I'm hoping to find stability in life Ive had enough chaos growing up. Anyhow I just go to spiritual healers for reiki and pray and do magic to help myself and take magic mushrooms.
Maybe mushrooms, reiki or spiritual healings could help or therapy. I believe there are sex addict groups to discuss with others as well which can be female only if that's what your more comfortable with. Which can be found online or it's possible there may be a local group could be worth discussing them sex addicts anonymous I believe it's called and talking with like minded people who have already went through similar journeys possibly giving better advice than I can personally produce

It's stupid, but I genuinely can't stop doing it. I get horny from the stupidest things. I don't even want it or enjoy it. Why do I keep fantasizing about that?? I know hypersexuality, but from where do I have this?? How can I stop this? I'm so sick of masturbating before going to bed. It's like I'm forcing myself, I don't want it, but the urges are too much. I'm not even that wet mostly it's dry as fuck which makes it worse and more unpleasant. It's hurting and making me so sick and tired afterwards.

Not to mention the sick fantasies I keep having. It's like I wish I would get raped. I know I don't actually want it. I remember as a kid (don't know the age but my gut feeling is saying 6 years old. I know I was under 9 years though) where I had this one night I remember so vividly. I was in my bed

Spoiler: NSFW warning about a kid idk?

and touching myself but not enjoying it. While doing it I thought about how I get raped and experimented on. Then I kept thinking "in future I'll just be an experiment or something and get used", then I went to wash my hands, lied down with mixed feelings.

I don't remember ever experiencing sexual assault or rape though. (Except with

Spoiler: Csa

15 I got raped but I had it before that and the reason I got raped was because I thought I wanted it and let myself get used. Spoiler: I did not want it and yes..

) I know my parents kind of sexualized me but not in a way that they touched me or something. More like comments. "don't dress like a slut!" "Close your legs while sitting!" "do you wanna show your ass and tits to guys??" "If you are so naive you'll get raped" and shit like that. Not great, inappropriate yes. But they didn't do anything to me.

Join sex addicts anonymous or whatever it's called and find a group that suits you best possibly all female. They can be found online or sometimes in person find what suits best and people in these groups will have alot more knowledge to help you get to know people with similar experiences there journeys and what helped them. I believe that's likely your best path if you are looking for help

 

[plan c]

O mate. I cannot picture what tremendous pain u endure at the moment. The only experience from which i could wish to relate to your situation is when I took some strong antidepressant a few years back. it had a strange side-effect. It was like my sexual module wired in all faulty manners to every part of my body. Was like raping myself everytime i do any touching. yet it only lasts for around a few hrs after ingesting the med, and ik , is nothing compared to a real hypersexuality. im sorry to know that

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

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Join sex addicts anonymous or whatever it's called and find a group that suits you best possibly all female. They can be found online or sometimes in person find what suits best and people in these groups will have alot more knowledge to help you get to know people with similar experiences there journeys and what helped them. I believe that's likely your best path if you are looking for help

I wouldn't suggest that right off the bat. A lot of those groups tend to either focus on purity culture, religion, or just don't take into account how different childhood-to-adulthood hypersexuality can manifest versus, like... addictions gained in adulthood.

 

[goldenwitch]

i can relate youre definitely not alone

its such a sickening urge i cant even ignore it, sometimes i have to skip class just so i can give into it. its never something i enjoy. the stress that being csa'd causes me is only alleviated by a quick dopamine high, so im forced to do it unless i want to face bigger issues. fetishism and hypersexuality are the only coping mechanisms i have pretty much and i hate it.

Spoiler: tw for sa

people have used this addiction of mine also stemming from csa to their advantage and forced me to do humiliating things in public, so definitely watch out for people like this...