Venting I cant stop getting high! One problem traded for another

[BridgeJumper]

Drugs are ruining my life, Im constantly fucked up on something because I cant deal with my mind. Being off my face = feeling numb = not trying to jump off a bridge 3 times a month when I clearly promised I wont jump off a bridge. Im doing anything I can get my hands on, benzos, psychedelics, alcohol, cocaine, sniffing paint, even fucking otc valerian pills and anti parkinson medication when Im out of everything else. Got into opiates this week because alcohol is wrecking my body too much, something that was always a hard no for me. Already taking them everyday so expecting to be hooked like, next month? Im such a fucking junkie FML.
Yeah I should stop but the point is nobody wants to help me with my extreme ear pain and vertigo, they tell me that its in my head or to stop being dramatic because its not cancer or shit and I cant live like this! At least when Im fucked up I dont care that everything is spinning and tv sounds like motorcycle engine.
I signed off facebook because I drunkenly made a total fool out of myself, sending nudes, picking fights, writing about wanting to jump, posting pics with rope tied to the railing etc, kept hitting on people regardless of their gender and orientation, you name it. Tried to stop this week, after 36 hours of sweating, shaking and throwing up I caved.
How do I staaahp. Im a trainwreck. Not like Im gonna call a program or something because I feel I didnt reach the self - defined point at which I will feel worthy of getting help but...just FML :')

 

[GoBack]

Careful with the opiates , it's fun till it's really not. I can't feel one of my legs for a while now.
Fuck Facebook ( facefuck whatever)
Why can't you call a program, it's a myth you have to hit rock bottom to get help.

 

[I screwed up]

I feel for u bro. Have u tried seeking help ??

 

[sadghost]

Hey OP, I understand using drugs to cope. They have a way of making reality bearable sometimes but this is quite a dangerous situation, especially if you're combining drugs/alcohol. Withdrawals can be hell and also dangerous as well.

You don't have to go through this alone and you are allowed to ask for help/support - you are worthy.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're not getting treated for your ear pain/vertigo. Maybe you could try visiting a different doctor for this?

 

[terry_a_davis]

You can beat drug withdrawals op, being in a detox program will help, i went through mine at home, stopped taking stims & benzo's, don't think i slept for 7 days and was anxious etc. But you can do it and the longer you're clean the easier it will get.
That ear pain / vertigo, that sounds shitty, don't know what to suggest about that.

 

[thats_a_wrap]

Drugs are ruining my life, Im constantly fucked up on something because I cant deal with my mind. Being off my face = feeling numb = not trying to jump off a bridge 3 times a month when I clearly promised I wont jump off a bridge. Im doing anything I can get my hands on, benzos, psychedelics, alcohol, cocaine, sniffing paint, even fucking otc valerian pills and anti parkinson medication when Im out of everything else. Got into opiates this week because alcohol is wrecking my body too much, something that was always a hard no for me. Already taking them everyday so expecting to be hooked like, next month? Im such a fucking junkie FML.
Yeah I should stop but the point is nobody wants to help me with my extreme ear pain and vertigo, they tell me that its in my head or to stop being dramatic because its not cancer or shit and I cant live like this! At least when Im fucked up I dont care that everything is spinning and tv sounds like motorcycle engine.
I signed off facebook because I drunkenly made a total fool out of myself, sending nudes, picking fights, writing about wanting to jump, posting pics with rope tied to the railing etc, kept hitting on people regardless of their gender and orientation, you name it. Tried to stop this week, after 36 hours of sweating, shaking and throwing up I caved.
How do I staaahp. Im a trainwreck. Not like Im gonna call a program or something because I feel I didnt reach the self - defined point at which I will feel worthy of getting help but...just FML :')

Hold tight my friend. There is hope. I know someone who has been through something very similar (the 'permanent' vertigo situation) and proved all the doctors wrong and has beaten it now.

I have spoken with him and he is happy to consult you for free.

I just need to get a few more posts so I can PM you with a link to his booking system, as I'm not comfortable posting it publicly.