I can't make up my own damned mind

[Empty Smile]

Caught between doing it with a partner, or going solo. Don't get me wrong, I know the risks of having a partner. But on the other hand, I feel having a partner is a good idea.

I want to go do some hiking before I do the deed, and sometimes I think having a partner along would keep me motivated to accomplish my goal.

And then I think having a partner would prevent me from doing what I need to do, what I have to do.

I could provide a bus ticket to a person if they needed transportation to meet up where I want to go, but as usual, I keep asking myself if it's a good idea to have a partner.

Then I ask myself if someone could handle hiking for up to 2 weeks, which is what I'll planning before I, or we, ctb.

Fuck I hate my brain......

Sorry if this is all incoherent, but my mind has been a wreck for the last few weeks.



I want to take one last trip through this tunnel. I used to go here all the time years ago.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I also contemplated on whether to do it alome or have a partner...as seen as i am a dependent person would prefer not to do it alone..... where are you from??

 

[Empty Smile]

I also contemplated on whether to do it alome or have a partner...as seen as i am a dependent person would prefer not to do it alone..... where are you from??

I live in South Carolina. It sucks when you're going through shit like this, and your mind throws a million things at you at one time.

 

[AhG]

I'm just conflicted in general in doing it. Of course I have SN, I don't the rest of the meds for it, but I do have it. Lately I've been addicted to being in a intoxicating rush of adrenalized dangerous situations. Most of the time that I've put myself in the dangerous events, I don't even realize it. Hopefully with these situations that I put myself through, I'll make my bus ride on accident and I won't have to take my SN. Only time will tell

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Yes it so confusing when i plan it out it all sounds so easy its doing it thats so hard....my stupid mind.....