I can’t forget this girl I met

[Steamm]

I met on tinder, its been a few months and still I'm in love with her while she's with someone else. I hate being a lonely guy, every girl that gives me attention I fall in love. What can I do?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Wish I knew. It can be really hard getting over somebody. It's so easy to tell someone to just "move on" but I understand that when you've been this invested in something it can be painful to attempt to move on if you have no idea where to move to. Maybe try to think of ways it would never work out between you two like if there were any problems with her. For example, she obviously doesn't love you the way you love her so if you were together it probably wouldn't work out in the end and maybe you'd be even more lonely than you are now because of it. Reading stories about other people who are currently suffering through bad relationships also helps scare me away from fantasizing about any I could have had too but that might just work for me.

Anyway, good luck on this problem. If anyone has any better ideas I'd like to hear 'em too...

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If it helps, there's a difference between infatuation and love. It may feel like love, but if you only knew her briefly, then you don't really know her. In my 49 years, I've come to see love as acts more than feelings, love and genuine intimacy take a long time to build, and the feelings are grounded rather than extreme. The chemical, emotional and mental processes that are like getting addicted to a drug are not genuine, grounded, committed love, they're infatuation. Love doesn't overwhelm and take over thought processes, infatuation does. I've even had friendship infatuations and made those fast connections, but genuine intimacy takes time to build things like trust, reciprocity, mutual understanding and respect, etc.