I can't even describe the horror

[tryingtoescape]

I'm so scared. I'm terrified. I'm terrified I won't be able to die. I'm terrified that I'll end up in a vegetative state, with my tinnitus. I'm so upset because I live in New York and there are fences and barriers at most locations where I was planning on jumping. I'm literally screaming and kicking and thrashing. I'm so terrified. I feel such dread, it feels like I'm in a nightmare. I'm nauseous all of the time, I can't handle this. I want someone to kill me. I want euthanasia but I can't afford it. I can't take it. I'm so scared of surviving.

 

[JoeFailure]

I'm really sorry you're having to feel all of this.

Do you mean you can't afford euthanasia to apply for a place like Dignitas or to be able to order it from someone?

 

[tryingtoescape]

I'm really sorry you're having to feel all of this.

Do you mean you can't afford euthanasia to apply for a place like Dignitas or to be able to order it from someone?

I'd prefer euthanasia from a place like the Dignitas clinic, but I can't afford either now. I'm disabled and live with my parents. I'm so desperate and in so much despair.

 

[Insomniac]

I'm sorry that things have come to this for you, my dear :(

you're...intending on jumping somewhere?

I'm wondering why you chose jumping over SN (just curious). Jumping sounds terrifying to me

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this - this life can be very cruel. Fear of failing is one of the things that holds me back too. I would do anything for a peaceful way out. Tinnitus can be awful, I know what that is like. I wish you the best.

 

[hʚll]

i hate prolifers for prolonging your suffering. i hope you will be free from life soon.

 

[theunderdog]

I'm sorry that you're feeling like this. No one should have to go though the mental torture your enduring. Sending hugs.

 

[return2dreamland]

i'm so sorry; i know that feeling of despair well. i hope everything goes well for you in the end. <3

 

[Lost Magic]

I feel your pain and your urgent sense of dread. I hope whatever happens, you find the peace you so desperately deserve.

 

[IsThisReal]

I feel for you. I have severe tinnitus as well (the reason why I am here) since over 6 months. It is extremely fluctuating and high pitch and is going to probably cost me my job which I am forcing myself into doing everyday and probably my life since I will have to go back to my war-torn home country where there is no future, so I will probably end up in more suffering. The only reason I haven't really seriously tried to ctb is my parents since I don't want to pass my suffering to them. And maybe because I haven't found a comfortable method, since I cannot guarantee that I wouldn't take N if I had it lying around. I was considering starvation, it is not fun but seems to be doable?!
Plus I have a dosen other health issues (digestive / jaw / vision) problems for several years now.
It is ironic how life can turn in a flip of a second, and the society does not prepare you for such a situation...

However, with all that negativity said, I have read that some people might take couple of years before they habituate to their tinnitus, so who knows...