i cant do this anymore

[reznikoff]

i had another breakdown
my family thinks i'm fucking crazy and psychotic i see the way they look at me and i hear the things they say about me when they think i cant hear them
im so fucking done man
i literally begged my mother to show an ounce of sympathy, all she could say is that i need to listen & trust in god and i need to stop taking things so "personally"
yeah lol its not as if i have borderline personality disorder and ptsd and depression or anything. im just ~sensitive~

this is it though this whole day sent me over the edge. i have had so much taken from me in 2020 and i am fed up. my own family, my last lifeline, have given up on me. i am just the crazy attention-seeking burnout lost cause of a daughter. i have stayed alive well over a year since i joined this site and i thank you guys for being such a wonderful community. but this is it if i wake up in the morning i'm going to be so furious LMFAO god i hate this
also my apologies for the whole informality of this thing. i dont feel inclined to make it look nice and pretty and legible.

 

[theguineapigking]

i had another breakdown
my family thinks i'm fucking crazy and psychotic i see the way they look at me and i hear the things they say about me when they think i cant hear them
im so fucking done man
i literally begged my mother to show an ounce of sympathy, all she could say is that i need to listen & trust in god and i need to stop taking things so "personally"
yeah lol its not as if i have borderline personality disorder and ptsd and depression or anything. im just ~sensitive~

this is it though this whole day sent me over the edge. i have had so much taken from me in 2020 and i am fed up. my own family, my last lifeline, have given up on me. i am just the crazy attention-seeking burnout lost cause of a daughter. i have stayed alive well over a year since i joined this site and i thank you guys for being such a wonderful community. but this is it if i wake up in the morning i'm going to be so furious LMFAO god i hate this
also my apologies for the whole informality of this thing. i dont feel inclined to make it look nice and pretty and legible.

Hey. It's saddening to hear what you're going through.

I wish your family was more understanding and caring. The whole trust in God thing won't get you anywhere, other than psychologically (in my opinion..).


Do you have any friends that you can rely on? Any siblings or non-immediate family? Do you see a therapist? You've been with this community for ~16 months. You've leaned on us when you needed to. Well, now is the time to do so again! Talk will us(or feel free to pm me if you'd like). Is there anything that you want to talk about?

I can understand(as much as someone who isn't in your situation) your pain. You can't help your emotions, which sucks. That's the problem. Your parents appear to not want to 'deal' with them. I'm so sorry. But may I just tell you that you're NOT a lost cause of a daughter!

I know that today was a horrible day for you. But how "bad" is your average day compared to today? You may not want to rush into anything right now. I'd take a step back and try to revaluate your situation. Please make sure you're of sound mind, should you decide to do anything to yourself. I'll be up for a few more hours. I'm here if you need me at all. If I understood correctly, you plan to possibly do something tonight?



Best wishes!