I cannot deal with this loneliness anymore

[Joarga]

Siempre estaré solo... He estado solo y no deseado toda mi vida... Y así seré hasta el final...

Ya no quiero soportar este dolor...

Te comprendo.
Llevo solo 8 años desde la muerte de mi madre.
no hay día en que no pienses en morir
.

 

[endeledestein]

I just saw a post... A very painful one... A girl wants to take care of a guy who wants to die, but he doesnt love her, cause hes in love with some girl cause shes hot (no personality), which already tells me that guy is shit...

The girl... Has gone to visit him to his country... And bought him several things, like games and stuff to make him happy. He ignores her and just wants to die.

No girl would ever do that for me... I dont fucking need to be bought games or anything, i can buy them myself... But the... The care... The love... THe effort... And I talked to her and she earns 400 usd a months which is nothing, so even more, the massive effort...

I just want to die. I even considering ending it and not waiting for this legal shit im in... I dont care, just let the fucking awful person win. I dont deserve to be alive for 20 months being tortured just to "win"...

NOBODY WANTS ME
IM FUCKING TRASH

WHAT DO YOU CALL WHAT NOBODY WANTS
FUCKING TRASH IS WHAT YOU CALL IT

 

[endeledestein]

This girl I just talked about shes nice... And shes even attractive to me (idk to others, i have strange tastes, i think she would be mid maybe). But shes in love with another guy who doesnt even love her... I described her before... The guy says hes going to kill hismelf on september 7th... He just treats her bad... But she loves him so much, she did so much effort for him...
Nobody would do even 1% of that for me...

She has very bad eyesight and says that if she goes worse she would need surgery wich is 4000 usd where she lives... I wouldnt mind pay for that IF ofc she loved me... Im not THAT retarded to give it away to someone who doesnt want me. Idk if call this a crush cause I dont really know her that much.

I tried talking to her but she doesnt give a shit about knowing me...

I wish I could kill myself right now... Not just because of her...

Realistically what are the chances of me finding somebody... Nothing....

Then why even be alive... alone...