Venting I began to actually try to clean up the mess that is my life, but it won’t make a difference

[erdbeeren]

I am currently working on a project for a contest. I've invested many hours into it to make sure it is as good as it can (realistically) be. It's been the focus of my efforts for a week or so. So much work and it's flown under the radar.

This is nothing new. I could be a perfect little angel and never make mistakes, but as soon as I have the tiniest fuckup, I am belittled and gaslighted.

I am absolutely perplexed as to why I even bother at this point. I am aware that my life is pointless and meaningless. I know how it will all end. I know that this is only the start of a perpetual loop of: work->stress->money->other pointless shit->repeat .

I'm just exhausted, but I only have another month to go I guess.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Once you stop enjoying "The other pointless shit " you're in trouble

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it. We are forced to exist and we have all these pressures and expectations placed on us. Life seems to be mostly just meaningless suffering. We struggle for decades until we die. It is all very depressing. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are tired of everything. I wish you the best.