Venting I am talentless, lazy, and learning is hard. Is improvement possible or should I CTB?

[prone2fury]

For some short backstory, up until young adulthood, I was very book smart and respectful to my teachers and elders. Of course this meant that I rarely needed to try in school, which came back to bite me later when I had a huge depression crashout at the start of college. What few abilities I hadn't forgotten were completely useless now.

The worst part is that I have attempted before to learn new skills. Riflery, driving planes, carpentry, theater, fitness. Nothing stuck and nothing was fulfilling, and all I was doing was failing and suffering and wasting years of my life. Nowadays, when I try something new like music or art or writing, I quit when it gets difficult in the slightest way. I hate being this way and I don't know what to do. I've been on antidepressants on and off for about 3 months.

I'd like to find some skill or talent that I don't hate, but I worry it's impossible due to my sheer lazy piece of shit nature. Is there anything I can do to find something worth doing, or should I give up and CTB?

 

[TheEmptyVoid]

For some short backstory, up until young adulthood, I was very book smart and respectful to my teachers and elders. Of course this meant that I rarely needed to try in school, which came back to bite me later when I had a huge depression crashout at the start of college. What few abilities I hadn't forgotten were completely useless now.

The worst part is that I have attempted before to learn new skills. Riflery, driving planes, carpentry, theater, fitness. Nothing stuck and nothing was fulfilling, and all I was doing was failing and suffering and wasting years of my life. Nowadays, when I try something new like music or art or writing, I quit when it gets difficult in the slightest way. I hate being this way and I don't know what to do. I've been on antidepressants on and off for about 3 months.

I'd like to find some skill or talent that I don't hate, but I worry it's impossible due to my sheer lazy piece of shit nature. Is there anything I can do to find something worth doing, or should I give up and CTB?

Your just like me, I will ctb, I'm just needing a guaranteed lethal and painless death, I deserve death, no one likes me, all I want is death.

 

[wham311]

It is possible. We have the fucking deck stacked against us..

Absolute fucking bullshit.

 

[hippiedeath]

Choice is yours to make. I know I've tried everything, and I know where I stand. I enjoy food and nature. People are the problem. To ctb is to end the rat race of suffering. I'm not in any serious physical decline. My mental health is shot. Right now I just want to smoke, and eat myself into oblivion

 

[ForsakenEcho]

I get what it's like to want to develop new skills. I have a long list of things I'd love to learn, but every time I try, I eventually give up.

Recently though, I found something I'm slowly starting to get better at. So my advice would be to keep searching. Maybe one day you'll find something that really clicks with you.

You can always catch the bus later, so there's no harm in postponing that moment until you truly feel like it's the right time.