Venting I am so so afraid of being committed again

[CatabolicSeed]

It's 4 am and I have been lying in bed scared out of my mind of being sent to the psych ward again for 5 hours. This has happened multiple times a week ever since I got out 2 months ago. Worst experience of my life. I am so afraid of going back. I keep having nightmares. It has made me infinitely more suicidal.

 

[nora.]

hey, everything's gonna be alright. we're here for you. how are you feeling right now? did something happen?

 

[CatabolicSeed]

hey, everything's gonna be alright. we're here for you. how are you feeling right now? did something happen?

Thank you for this response, that means a lot. I've just been thinking about how if I fail when I CTB I'll be sent back.

 

[nora.]

Thank you for this response, that means a lot. I've just been thinking about how if I fail when I CTB I'll be sent back.

i understand. it sucks. when you have those thoughts feel free to tell us haha!

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Hey, I know how bad it is to have past trauma lingering in your mind. While I never got committed, as I refused to tell anyone about my previous attempts, I had police come to my house in the middle of the night when I was a teenager with the intention of sending me to the psych ward. I had to talk my way out of it and insist that whatever they had heard through the grapevine was a fluke. I also watched multiple family members get committed against their will and had to witness firsthand the effects it had.

Everytime I hear a police or ambulance siren I panic and tense up out of fear that someone has ratted me out again and is gonna get me sectioned to the ward. Being put into one of those places can be very traumatising.

Unfortunately, many people I know have become terrified of psych hospitals after the fact. I know it doesn't make it any easier, but your reaction is common and demonstrates how horrible those institutions can be. I hope with time it is easier to sleep and you will not be plagued with thoughts about the psych ward as much.

 

[Nigh]

I've also been having these thoughts. Don't know what I'll do if I fail to CTB, and I'm sent back to that ghastly place. I'm with you.

 

[WornOutLife]

Psych wards are hell. I was lucky not to end up in one but I'm really scared of being sent there too.
I can't fail to ctb next time!