i am so desperate to die

[sickofbeinghere]

I just want to die so badly. survival instinct is leaving me stranded in a body I never asked for and have always tried to escape. maybe I should go back on SSRIs again because they gave me the confidence to take more dangerous attempts on my life before. I just hate how ill they make me. and because I dont eat they just make me throw up loads. maybe I should take drugs or alcohol to get the confidence to die. I dont even know where to get them though, and Id be too scared to take them anyway. fuck i just wan all of this to be over

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand the feeling of being desperate to leave. Life is just so cruel and of course dying should be much easier. I hope that you find freedom from your suffering as none of us should have to endure such agony.

 

[Jrmull1993]

Sorry to hear about your pain. From my experience (and I acknowledge everyone is different) Your survival instinct is most likely because you have "unfinished" business.

When my feelings were like yours, I sat down and decided what I needed to do to overcome that survival instinct. For me I determined I needed to ensure my best friend was going to be well taken care of. I purchased 3 life insurance policies, and immediately felt at ease. I have 72 more days until I'm past the suicide clause on the 3rd policy. This has given me the support I need to buy everything required to make my early exit a success. Something I previously was not capable of doing.

 

[hellispink]

I often feel this way. I wish I could obtain some potent drugs to forget about me and my SI and just end this nightmare. I understand how horribly is wanting to leave but being unable to.

 

[want2dienow]

desperate gets me nowhere to death, only worsen the agony. staring death in face watching it mock me from afar; to die but i cant so suffer the unimaginable pointless existence into an unseen oblivion.