I am so anxious I am even anxious about my own anxiety

[noname223]

I know it is a lot solipsistic and self-absorbed. But depression is often focused on one self.

I am a very anxious person. And my anxiety is a lot self-referred. I am so anxious that I am scared not being able to cope with this anxiety. I am scared because the extreme anxiety is sometimes very hard to cope with. It is a very uncomfortable feeling. It is pretty nasty.

I am anxious what other people think of me, I am anxious that other people could dislike me and start arguments, I am anxious that the extreme pain comes back.

I have the feeling that I am kind of insular. On an existential level I am alone. I am the only one who has to face my consciousness first hand. No matter how accurate I describe it noone will ever be able to feel exactly know how it feels to be in my skin.

We all see ourselves as the centre of the universe. There are so many people in predicaments. Still I have this inner naive and childish notion I might be special. That I might be different than anyone else.

 

[jodes2]

I'm so sorry anxiety sucks

 

[Celerity]

I can't relate at all to people who don't experience anxiety. It's irritating to think about how the things that keep me up at night may not even ping on the radar of a well-adjusted person.

That said, the only people I have observed who show no anxiety under almost any circumstance are usually selfish and/or lazy assholes who don't really give a shit about anything but themselves, so there's a consolation prize for us neurotics, I guess.