Painless_end
Life is too difficult for me
- Oct 11, 2019
- 794
I couldn't CTB by hanging or otherwise. I had hoped to pass away any time during the last few months. But it didn't happen. I was bound by lack of freedom. I live with my parents. I have an extreme mental aversion to any kind of full-time work so I can't earn enough or keep myself in the job market to live independently.
Due to this I had to involuntarily choose to live with my parents. While it is hardly uncommon in my country, I still had a chance on paper to study and work in another country, having met the educational criteria and selection procedures for grad school back in 2013.
But it was too hard for me to sustain myself in what I was doing at that time, which was full time IT work and eventually my insecurity about the whole thing compounded by my general lack of interest in vocational activity let me down and I didn't go.
I chose to live like a hermit with my family, and now I am suffering the consequences of being unable to ctb in my parents' house while they are around all the time
My survival instinct is functioning and fucked me up badly.
Due to this I had to involuntarily choose to live with my parents. While it is hardly uncommon in my country, I still had a chance on paper to study and work in another country, having met the educational criteria and selection procedures for grad school back in 2013.
But it was too hard for me to sustain myself in what I was doing at that time, which was full time IT work and eventually my insecurity about the whole thing compounded by my general lack of interest in vocational activity let me down and I didn't go.
I chose to live like a hermit with my family, and now I am suffering the consequences of being unable to ctb in my parents' house while they are around all the time
My survival instinct is functioning and fucked me up badly.
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