I am jealous of people dying.

[Parnate]

People die everyday in my city in accidents . Just today a young school boy died after getting crushed by an RMC truck. It is a very painful way to die. But, honestly I am so desperate that I just don't care ,for me any quick death by whichever means is fine.A young guy died while working out, he got a heart attack. I have been praying to god for ending this but he doesn't seem to be listening.

 

[Eternal Disaster]

Seeing other people die makes me jealous too. I am the one who deserves death but I am alive. I have given up hope for natural death or death by accident. I will have to kill myself that's the only option.

 

[unluckysadness]

Me too

 

[SockAlias]

I think we just have sub parts of us deathly afraid of dying. They're afraid out of fear of missing out on something great. Remind them that no matter how good it gets, it's never greater than death. Here's a link to someone who's "enlightened" and still prefers permanent unconsiocusness. https://qri.org/blog/classical-enlightenment-and-valence-structuralism

Just look at how you feel throughout the day and see if it's any better than death. 99-100 percent of the time it's not.

 

[derpsie]

I think we just have sub parts of us deathly afraid of dying. They're afraid out of fear of missing out on something great. Remind them that no matter how good it gets, it's never greater than death. Here's a link to someone who's "enlightened" and still prefers permanent unconsiocusness. https://qri.org/blog/classical-enlightenment-and-valence-structuralism

Just look at how you feel throughout the day and see if it's any better than death. 99-100 percent of the time it's not.

woah frank yang mentioned in that article?? super basedddd

 

[SockAlias]

woah frank yang mentioned in that article?? super basedddd

Lmaooo yeah, he's the best. If you don't wanna kys yet, the author of this article claims you can get stream entry within 60-100 hours doing these practices. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iZul6Hg1o5qNfaHAPIgKp4Pl0M1_YwHAlfGHeIKnXbI/mobilebasic

 

[derpsie]

Lmaooo yeah, he's the best. If you don't wanna kys yet, the author of this article claims you can get stream entry within 60-100 hours doing these practices. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iZul6Hg1o5qNfaHAPIgKp4Pl0M1_YwHAlfGHeIKnXbI/mobilebasic

you're so cool for being into this shit... ill check it out ty

 

[Freedomm]

People die everyday in my city in accidents . Just today a young school boy died after getting crushed by an RMC truck. It is a very painful way to die. But, honestly I am so desperate that I just don't care ,for me any quick death by whichever means is fine.A young guy died while working out, he got a heart attack. I have been praying to god for ending this but he doesn't seem to be listening.

As far as I know, a heart attack is pretty quick. It's not a bad option for me, I would like to die that way too. I heard the story about a guy who felt dizzy and lost consciousness. There's no pain.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

I always feel so bad for thinking like this, lol. I read all these stories about people just getting run over, shooting themselves, dying of brain aneurysms, etc. and Im like "man, why cant I just go out that fuckin' easy?".

 

[chakravyuh]

My life has turned into a hell with no escape. Also, my future remains as dark as it can get for anyone. 1-2 months from now, I would not be able to even feed my family.

Things are getting worse day by day and each news of someone dying assures me that my day would come very soon but i also become envy of them and think it could have been me. God I wish to die and die soon. If not in my sleep then in next 2 months i would surely end this life for good.

 

[JayJay84]

Me too, I am jealous!

 

[Manfrotto99]

Not jealous but angry that it isn't me. Why some person who is young with a future and a life a head of them, or someone with family and people who care. Why not save them and take me instead who has no life, no future and no one who cares. Just breathing air and wasting valuable resources each day, alone in misery and despair. Makes no sense.

 

[astonishedturnip]

Not jealous but angry that it isn't me. Why some person who is young with a future and a life a head of them, or someone with family and people who care. Why not save them and take me instead who has no life, no future and no one who cares. Just breathing air and wasting valuable resources each day, alone in misery and despair. Makes no sense.

My thoughts exactly. It makes me so sad seeing kids die, people with young families, newlyweds, while I'm a complete waste of space with nothing going for me and I continue to live on. Life is so damn unfair.

 

[LetMeOut67]

It's just another torment
That life takes those who have everything to live for and stubbornly keeps those of us who want out here year after year

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I only envy those who no longer suffer in this dreadful, torturous existence I never would had chosen, all I hope for is the peace of non-existence and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully cease existing so finally I can be free from this deeply undesirable existence that I always saw as such a cruel mistake that only ever causes and brings suffering in the first place.

 

[Dejected 55]

I have felt this before too... been jealous of someone who is finally out of the maze.

 

[Hope;ess Fear]

Me too. Some young guy was recently shot on the train in my city and all I can think is "I wish that were me".

I'm so tired of living in a world that's hostile to my existence. I have no hope the future will be better. Why not let me die instead of someone who could otherwise live in this world just fine and probably be a lot happier than I am.

 

[knickknack81]

People die everyday in my city in accidents . Just today a young school boy died after getting crushed by an RMC truck. It is a very painful way to die. But, honestly I am so desperate that I just don't care ,for me any quick death by whichever means is fine.A young guy died while working out, he got a heart attack. I have been praying to god for ending this but he doesn't seem to be listening.

While I certainly am with everyone here about how frustrating it is that people suddenly die out of the blue (for all we know, with no interest/desire in wanting to pass) and people like myself and others on this site who constantly think/plan for a way to CTB are still around, its very tough to hear some of these stories like this with the young boy and truck. That sounds absolutely horrible, not just for the young boy but for anyone to suffer that kind of pain. Par of the reason i think many people are reluctant to CTB are because of the pain and agony an attempt will cause, successful or not. Honestly, even a heart attack might not be as quick and/or as painless as you think. Ive heard horrible stories of those who have survived heart attacks and they can be a horrible ordeal and the lasting effects can be devestating. I think all of us want nothing more then just a quick, painless way to go but quite often, that is not the case. Its always sad anytime you hear someone has to suffer, planned or not.

 

[nemesis_]

god, same. especially if it was quick and relatively painless (eg. people who die from a heroin or fentanyl OD).

 

[Galam]

I am jealous when they just can die by cardiac arrest or in their sleep and with a good life.

I read one article about a soccer player after he shot a goal and his team won he had a cardiac arrest and died lol. He had friends, girlfriend and child, a nice family. Some people are so blessed with everything.

One older lady, my grandma and older aunt died this year too. They don't had a good life, and their dying was sick to look at too, but now that they are dead, they have it better.

I am just born in poverty, among disabled alcoholic parents. I suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrom and was always misdiagnosed and bullyed by other children, or since 2014 abused by mental health workers or even one stupid social worker.

Or if I am not bullyed I am alone and don't know really what to do, to watch. I only had welfare and they cut it off. The only person that delivered food and stuff to me was my mother, but she is very unkind, stupid and abusive too. I don't have real contact with anybody, I am always just the ugly one, mental ill, They demonized me. I am now 30 and have no achievements other women get per default. But I am happy that I don't have any children. I just sit or lay in my room for months and years until I get homeless or die.

It wasn't always bad but the reasons why I must exist like that are not good ones. Without any good media I am also bored and think more about what other people did to me. I hate them, I write complains against them but many organizations will not help with anything here. It's a rural small town, I am seen by many as ugly and dumb, could not make any friends. And one social worker sabotaged the care service I had, she was passiv aggressiv and is a so called pick-me (a woman that organized her whole life to patriarchal ideals) from the conservative field, so I have nothing anymore.

I always feel so bad for thinking like this, lol. I read all these stories about people just getting run over, shooting themselves, dying of brain aneurysms, etc. and Im like "man, why cant I just go out that fuckin' easy?".

Sometimes such people who die fast and out of the blue have a good social support system around them. They are not outcasted. One of my uncles had a brain aneurysm and died from it with age 45. His girlfriend got sick very fast after his death and was pushed out of their house by his brother. She died two years later and had alcohol addiction. His brother was the only one with family (wife and 3 children) and had a very difficult time to get over his death, because their parents died from suicide early. His brother was his nuclear family. After his death, he started a affair and got better but ruined his wife and the daughters, who are used as prostitutes by the new lovers of the wife. So when loved people die it can have a negative outcome on those that are still alive.

In my case it would not have any bad outcome, because I was outcasted. Many would be happy and make fun about it.

 

[TBONTB]

People die everyday in my city in accidents . Just today a young school boy died after getting crushed by an RMC truck. It is a very painful way to die. But, honestly I am so desperate that I just don't care ,for me any quick death by whichever means is fine.A young guy died while working out, he got a heart attack. I have been praying to god for ending this but he doesn't seem to be listening.

Absolutely...especially people with sudden deaths. I wish that bullet, that car accident could have nabbed me. I'd be so glad to cash in my chips, and others want to hold on to theirs.