Venting I am back, yet again

[lugerepair]

Seems like suicide is the thing I always keep coming back to. The older I get (and I'm not even 30 yet), the less afraid I am of dying and the less attached I am to life, while I keep suffering and suffering month after month, year after year. Maybe it could get better, but why does it matter? I won't be around to regret potentially missing out on some nice experiences if I'm dead. I guess I am sticking around because there are ways in which I can be helpful to certain causes I care about. However, I do not enjoy being here, I think that humanity would have been better off never having existed and it's a tragedy that it has.

If only I could tell all this to the people I know, to my friends and family, tell them that's how I feel. But they wouldn't get it and they'd get worried and I don't want that.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand your feelings. I see existence as being completely unnecessary, as we were all perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. I see life as a terrible thing as there is unlimited potential for suffering. Of course people who are not suicidal will never be able to understand what it is like. If you decide to leave, then I hope you find peace.