I am back here again

[CCH beast]

I'm back here again after nearly 6 months feeling normal after entering a pact on here which I backed out of.. and now it's all come back because my girl said shes not happy.. how fucking pathetic am I.. I deal with chronic cluster headaches and this is what is gonna kill me .. fuck sakes .. sorry for the rant

 

[FuneralCry]

That condition you have to deal with sounds awful, it can be horrible being trapped in this human body as it can torture us. I know it can be a hopeless feeling when things just get worse, I'm sorry you are in this situation. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Depressed Cat]

The fact that you backed out of the pact shows that you were not ready for it. And it still seems you're not ready for it.

Which is perfectly fine! A lot of people suffer in silence with a desire to CTB to end their suffering but when it comes to taking steps, they're hesitant and back out.

This is quite normal and many do the same. So you're not alone in this. I wish you the best.

 

[waitingforrest]

Cbt takes a toll on the mind. When you decide to die is when the doubts become the highest. Survival instinct is a b***h. I sorry you are having issues with your relationship. It's so hard to manage relationships and mental health at the same time, not to mention the chronic pain as well. Welcome back! Although, I wish it were on better terms. I really hope everything works out in the end.

 

[Rational man]

chronic cluster headaches

what causes it?

 

[CCH beast]

what causes it?

No known cause. There is not a lot of research but for me, when they started, I was under a lot of stress working all week in construction taking on side work.. looking after drama filled friends full of suicide and mental health problems/co dependency issues .. also taking a lot of mdma at the weekends.. and they just started ... have got progressively worse, my joinery career is done.. my lifestyle has finished I'm In so much pain I just want to lie in front of a train

Cbt takes a toll on the mind. When you decide to die is when the doubts become the highest. Survival instinct is a b***h. I sorry you are having issues with your relationship. It's so hard to manage relationships and mental health at the same time, not to mention the chronic pain as well. Welcome back! Although, I wish it were on better terms. I really hope everything works out in the end.

Thankyou I hope I'm okay