Help I am at a loss

[CTBsoonbyNN]

I'm ready to CTB. I've been ready for months. I gave myself time to see if my mental state would improve, but it has only gotten worse. My original plan was to use the night night method, but I have tried well over 100 times without any luck. I don't have a 3D printer so I am unable to print that device that supposedly would help. I have a 9mm pistol, but I am trying to avoid going that route because I failed to do it the first time. I don't want to exist anymore. I have tried and I just can't.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand just wanting to be gone, to not exist is all I personally hope for and it feels so cruel how there isn't the option to just simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again, I see so much cruelty in how trying to die can go wrong and just lead to even more suffering. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you are looking for.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear that, and I'm in a similar boat too. I had experimenting with various methods and ultimately, I still chose the firearm to go since it seems to be the most straightforward method when other methods either don't work, aren't as reliable, and access to more peaceful means of CTB are either heavily restricted, too risky, or just unavailable. Ideally, if I literally had access to N, SN, or some inert gas I probably will go those ways instead of focusing on the firearm to CTB.