Discussion hypothetical, but if someone you knew from SaSu was going to ctb, would you rather know or not?

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm asking just in case I might choose to ctb sooner than later. And posting in recovery because I feel like in suicide section the answer would be biased overwhelmingly to yes. So if I was going to ctb, should I tell people I'm close to, or just disappear?

 

[dybydxxtothe4sec3x]

I think if I were in that position, I would appreciate a goodbye.

Wouldn't even have to be a convo, just a single message would do. If they're on SaSu then they understand that its ur decision and won't lecture you like someone irl might.

If a friend of mine decided to ctb, and I knew it was coming, yeah I'd like a goodbye.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

What if you were going through a lot of stress? I guess that's the normal for a lot of us as well.

 

[dybydxxtothe4sec3x]

The death of a friend would stress me out more yeah, but I honestly think I'd feel worse if one day they just stopped responding. Either way it would have an effect, but at least with one I know what happened, and I know they're at peace.

It's basically a kind of closure I guess.

 

[UsagiDrop]

Yes, even as someone in recovery, I would want to know if someone that I'm in contact with on this site is going to ctb. Especially if it is you! I think that even a tag in the goodbye post is sufficient if you're afraid of being judged or discouraged in the moment. But it would be painful to log on one day and see that I've lost an acquaintance and missed the chance to wish them off, even though I understand the decision to not tell anybody completely.

With that being said, that decision is yours to make and yours alone. Nobody is obligated a notice when you're gone, but I think most people would prefer it, even on this side of the forum.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Well, I don't know anybody on this site but, if I did, I think I would want to know as it would give closure and all. That said, it's your choice if you want to share your final goodbyes or not

 

[Final_Choice]

Personally, yes. I'd like to know and say a final goodbye, but it would be their decision and I would understand them if they chose not to.

 

[Kasumi]

I think that depends on the person.
I'd like to know when you go, so I can properly say good bye, I prefer that over people just being gone one day leaving me wondering about what happened to them.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

For me, and many, it would be preferable. I almost had this happen with someone I used to be close to, and I knew every attempt date although she ultimately was forced to "recover" and plans were scrapped altogether. It would've killed me not to know even if it hurt.
I had another acquaintance from this forum who I vaguely knew would CTB, but I don't think I got to say a proper goodbye, unfortunately. I felt a little bad.

 

[boddibo]

I guess it depends on the person as Kasumi said, but I also think most of the people would want to know, at least to properly say good bye, to have closure. It could be very distressing for the person to not know beforehand depending on the relationship you have with them.

 

[Valky]

Like said before, I do think that disclosure is important!! But at the end of the day, that decision is up to you and how you "wish to go".

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

As of getting a few pm's about it. No. I get told how what I say won't make a difference. I'm working on my own mental health and it's messy, painful, and difficult. I'd rather think people I've been talking with just find they're doing better and decide to leave.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

"Know" is a relative term imo.

There's maybe a few people who I occassionally talk with here who I like but I don't know anything about them and they don't know anything about me, like in real life. I'd also have no idea if they just felt like leaving the site or decided to end it if I didn't see them again. Maybe I'm doing something wrong though, I guess it depends.

 

[indignity]

Don't tell anyone, if you're actually going to attempt. what I always tell people is that opsec plays a huge role in suicide attempts and their success rate. If people know, you become vulnerable to them as they know what to expect or act upon. I would rather disappear suddenly with no clear intent so I can't be "helped". If we're not speaking of pro-lifers, a final goodbye letter to those you appreciate most or just grateful for is enough imo.

 

[sserafim]

Depends on the person

 

[SexyIncél]

Certainly I want them telling me. More info's better than less. (If I don't like it, I'd better solve their root problem)

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

I would rather know.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Online or IRL, I would like to know if they're going to, just in case they need arrangements afterwards. Obviously I would want to do what I can to keep them around just a bit longer, but I know it is not my place to force somebody to live. I would want the process to be similar to waving them goodbye as the bus rides off into the sunset. Yes, I'll be devastated, but they're at peace now, and I'll be with them soon enough anyways.