Discussion Hows Male bpd?

[FoxSauce]

Well i moslty hear a lot how female bod affects wemon but I've heard little on the men's or other genders side

Are the symptoms similar?
What were your thoughts when diagnosed and what led to your diagnosis?

Do you takes med for it?

Sorry for the many questions you can skips this all together if not comftable.

 

[noname223]

Well i moslty hear a lot how female bod affects wemon but I've heard little on the men's or other genders side

Are the symptoms similar?
What were your thoughts when diagnosed and what led to your diagnosis?

Do you takes med for it?

Sorry for the many questions you can skips this all together if not comftable.

I don't have BPD but I read about it. BPD in males is often accompanied with antisocial disorder. I once read women get clinic stays and therapy while men end up in prison. I think though different behaviors play a role in that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't personally know- sorry. I always get confused though- over whether people are refering to bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. I think both confusingly use the same acronym sometimes.

If it's bipolar you are refering to, I don't think I know any guys personally but of the famous folk out there- Stephen Fry and Jeremy Brett. Both described periods of heightened and manic activity as well as very deep depressions. Almost the textbook description really.

I'm not sure I know anyone with Borderline. I think a former member here maybe but, she left.

 

[FoxSauce]

I don't personally know- sorry. I always get confused though- over whether people are refering to bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. I think both confusingly use the same acronym sometimes.

If it's bipolar you are refering to, I don't think I know any guys personally but of the famous folk out there- Stephen Fry and Jeremy Brett. Both described periods of heightened and manic activity as well as very deep depressions. Almost the textbook description really.

I'm not sure I know anyone with Borderline. I think a former member here maybe but, she left.

No its ok its just a form of curiosity like any disorder its different for anyone plus ik your always full on information amd insightful posts!

I don't have BPD but I read about it. BPD in males is often accompanied with antisocial disorder. I once read women get clinic stays and therapy while men end up in prison. I think though different behaviors play a role in that.

I did hear about once man that dis have bpd but was sentenced to prison. Indont remberber his name. Although I dont think all men are necessarily gonna end up like that (idk if thay what your refering too if not ignore that )

Moslty out curiosity yknow. I wish I knew too

 

[danivodka5]

Loss of emotional control, taken to the extreme, there are phases of the disease, as it can be towards oneself, where you keep your thoughts and emotions, or external, where emotions manifest in an extreme way.
Cry, lots of cry. Negation of identity, who am I?. Unstable relationships.

 

[FoxSauce]

Loss of emotional control, taken to the extreme, there are phases of the disease, as it can be towards oneself, where you keep your thoughts and emotions, or external, where emotions manifest in an extreme way.
Cry, lots of cry. Negation of identity, who am I?. Unstable relationships.

Im sorry dudd

 

[temporal_anchorite]

hey! i'm a dude with a BPD and that shit sucks dawg

the thing with BPD is, a lot of the disorder's symptomatology includes traits & behaviors that are largely considered "traditionally unmasculine". Emotional volatility, suicidality, low self-esteem, intense mood swings, depressive episodes, self harm, and insecurity are all things that people will look heavily down upon if you're a dude.

As a man you're expected to remain stoic, confident, and maintain a restrained emotional affect with a stable life path of success. Society has very little tolerance for men that don't fit the conventional mold. You may even be viewed as a precarious danger or loose cannon by others. I was in 5 different psychiatric hospital all before my 18th birthday. And although I'm almost 27 years old, I truly feel like I haven't aged mentally since like 21 or so lol

and to answer another commenter here, BPD always stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, not Bipolar Disorder. Anyone who uses BPD for bipolar is misusing the initialism (which doesn't even really make sense since bipolar is one word, not two)

tl;dr life is fuckin cooked for bpd men

 

[The Morningstar]

Well, you know me, Foxy, I don't have it, but it's a subject of interest to me. I have bookmarked a post or two that may interest you. I can't remember if I've shown you them or not, though. Here's a guy with BPD (among other things) @jadeturtle

Had a grippy sock vacation, came back with a BPD diagnosis. Other peoples' experiences with BPD?

I had one hell of a weekend. I'm now entering my slutty psycho bpd bitch era!!! If my life was actually fucked up like I thought it was, maybe I'd consider suicide still. But knowing that it's all probably just because of a personality disorder means I know I should be working towards recovery...

sanctioned-suicide.net

And this one wasn't made by a guy, but she has BPD I've been meaning to show it to you:

BPD Barbie signing off.

Idk if anyone here remembers me much, this is my final farewell but for happier reasons. Life has turned around for the better. It’s been a struggle, an upward climb but I believe firmly I’ve made it out from the pit alive. I surrendered my SN a few days ago to the police after hanging onto...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[EternalShore]

I had a friend many years ago who had BPD~ His mom had it too, so I suppose he inherited it genetically~ My lack of memory protects me from remembering too much about him, but he liked memes a lot, became increasingly Nazi-like over time, and talked a lot about himself [altho, I enjoyed listening to him tbf~ :)] I really tried my best to get him through high school, reminding him to study and even offering to do his homework, although he was quite resistant to that~ >_<
In regards to symptoms, he was very unstable with alcohol~ He could go from flirting with me to angry with me to crying and depressed very quickly~ I generally tried to take care of him when he did get drunk, so that he wouldn't get himself hurt~ I also warned him against getting drunk, but well, that didn't work~ :///

In regards to why he's no longer my friend now, it has a lot to do with BPD too~ >_< Summarizing, basically, he kept trying to cut me off, at 1 point, getting all his friends to gaslight me into thinking he was dead until I was so sad that he had to come and comfort me~ Although I was very much willing to beg for physical affection and flirt with him to make him feel better, I never had any feelings of romantic love for him~ On the other hand, he secretly had feelings for me, which caused him a bunch of anguish unfortunately because he wanted to date me, but he didn't want to simultaneously~ :( ultimately, this resulted in him and all his friends cutting off me and all my friends~ I have no idea where he is now~
In spite of everything (and the reason why I don't consider this to be gossip), my feelings towards him remain positive, and I would absolutely talk to him again if he wished to~

hey! i'm a dude with a BPD and that shit sucks dawg

the thing with BPD is, a lot of the disorder's symptomatology includes traits & behaviors that are largely considered "traditionally unmasculine". Emotional volatility, suicidality, low self-esteem, intense mood swings, depressive episodes, self harm, and insecurity are all things that people will look heavily down upon if you're a dude.

As a man you're expected to remain stoic, confident, and maintain a restrained emotional affect with a stable life path of success. Society has very little tolerance for men that don't fit the conventional mold. You may even be viewed as a precarious danger or loose cannon by others. I was in 5 different psychiatric hospital all before my 18th birthday. And although I'm almost 27 years old, I truly feel like I haven't aged mentally since like 21 or so lol

and to answer another commenter here, BPD always stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, not Bipolar Disorder. Anyone who uses BPD for bipolar is misusing the initialism (which doesn't even really make sense since bipolar is one word, not two)

tl;dr life is fuckin cooked for bpd men

I'm so sorry to hear~ :( That sounds so awful, and I'd never want to be able to live like that~ >_< Conforming to something you can never hope to be able to and constantly being in-and-out of the hospital for it~ :( I can totally see why you're here, and I'm so sorry to hear that you are~ >_<

 

[temporal_anchorite]

I'm so sorry to hear~ :( That sounds so awful, and I'd never want to be able to live like that~ >_< Conforming to something you can never hope to be able to and constantly being in-and-out of the hospital for it~ :( I can totally see why you're here, and I'm so sorry to hear that you are~ >_<

It's all good, I've definitely gotten better in some areas of my life as time has progressed. Those hospitalizations were from my high school days. I've finally gotten my self secured in a stable well-paying job (I used to be really bad with impulsive job hopping and would switch up multiple times a year lol), but I still struggle a fair bit with interpersonal relationships. According to a few psychiatrists and therapists I've seen, I've also got some NPD traits thrown into the mix (but not enough for a comorbid diagnosis); so it makes for a rather peculiar juxtaposition of feeling self-obsessed & like I'm destined for greatness, coupled with painful states of suicidality and feeling like I'm a failure that everyone resents.

Writing music, the occasional drug use, and chasing adrenaline-based highs helps ease the pain or forget about my problems, but nothing truly remedies the soul-crashing loneliness I feel on a daily basis. My instability and emotional lability has caused me to burn countless of bridges. I've tried outpatient therapy for years, but it's honestly done fuck all for me. A mfer just wants to be loved at the end of the day.

Sorry to hear about your friend though. You sound like an incredibly caring person for all that you offered him and quite frankly, I don't blame you for cutting ties with him. People w/ BPD can be quite a handful to deal with and are very much prone to inflicting traumatic scars upon those that are closest to them. And at the end of the day, you can only expend so much emotional bandwidth and have to look out for your own wellbeing. But thank you for being so understanding, you're a real one for that.

 

[BeltedKingfisher]

makes for a rather peculiar juxtaposition of feeling self-obsessed & like I'm destined for greatness, coupled with painful states of suicidality and feeling like I'm a failure that everyone resents.

I resonate with this. I think I took on some narcissistic traits from my early childhood environment, though the BPD-like things feel so much more pronounced than anything else. I feel like a lot of the potential I think I might be able to access gets made so inaccessible by the emotional storminess and the cognitive distortions, which get more invasive when my emotions are high or my fear of abandonment gets triggers.

As far as being a man and the topic of this thread, I think most of what makes being a man with BPD different has to do with the classic stereotype. Society demands a male role which involves qualities like stoicism, self-relience, dependability, calm under pressure, rationality etc, but my disorder makes me feel less able to meet those expectations when my symptoms become more pronounced under stress. What's weird is that I think I could have a talent for the caring professions, many of which are coded as female-dominated occupations (teaching, nursing, etc) because I'm empathetic. The double-edged sword of that is that the caring professions can exhaust you if you cannot manage compassion fatigue. Recently, I worked in a social services role, and my sense of injustice at the way the system failed people it was supposed to help made it really difficult to keep a level head; moreover, I was very sensitive to people using me as a punching bag because they were rightly frustrated.

Another thing I think I'd say is that men tend to experience the so-called quiet type of BPD. Because of the socialization of people into certain gendered expressions and behavior, men with BPD might tend to turn their emotions inward on themselves in a way that might not always be obvious.

Largely though, my experience of BPD has nothing to do with being a man. Far more impactful than my gender is the stigma against the disorder which exists in society. The ironically black and white assumptions about borderlines (including within the medical and mental health fields) has been the hardest thing to live with. My psychiatrist has several times taken the diagnosis off my chart because she doesn't want nurses/doctors with a less nuanced understanding of the disorder giving me substandard care by latching onto the stigma about the diagnosis. That SUCKS. Also, people online will casually dehumanize people with BPD because of the bad experiences they've had with people with BPD, who are individually responsible for their failings in relationships after being properly diagnoses.

But I digress. BPD absolutely sucks. Wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. It's so much pain, alienation and suffering; my intense suicidal thoughts have been constant and visceral for around 15 years. It's like being trapped inside a locked room with a vicious bully constantly making me feel bad about EVERYTHING

 

[FoxSauce]

I resonate with this. I think I took on some narcissistic traits from my early childhood environment, though the BPD-like things feel so much more pronounced than anything else. I feel like a lot of the potential I think I might be able to access gets made so inaccessible by the emotional storminess and the cognitive distortions, which get more invasive when my emotions are high or my fear of abandonment gets triggers.

As far as being a man and the topic of this thread, I think most of what makes being a man with BPD different has to do with the classic stereotype. Society demands a male role which involves qualities like stoicism, self-relience, dependability, calm under pressure, rationality etc, but my disorder makes me feel less able to meet those expectations when my symptoms become more pronounced under stress. What's weird is that I think I could have a talent for the caring professions, many of which are coded as female-dominated occupations (teaching, nursing, etc) because I'm empathetic. The double-edged sword of that is that the caring professions can exhaust you if you cannot manage compassion fatigue. Recently, I worked in a social services role, and my sense of injustice at the way the system failed people it was supposed to help made it really difficult to keep a level head; moreover, I was very sensitive to people using me as a punching bag because they were rightly frustrated.

Another thing I think I'd say is that men tend to experience the so-called quiet type of BPD. Because of the socialization of people into certain gendered expressions and behavior, men with BPD might tend to turn their emotions inward on themselves in a way that might not always be obvious.

Largely though, my experience of BPD has nothing to do with being a man. Far more impactful than my gender is the stigma against the disorder which exists in society. The ironically black and white assumptions about borderlines (including within the medical and mental health fields) has been the hardest thing to live with. My psychiatrist has several times taken the diagnosis off my chart because she doesn't want nurses/doctors with a less nuanced understanding of the disorder giving me substandard care by latching onto the stigma about the diagnosis. That SUCKS. Also, people online will casually dehumanize people with BPD because of the bad experiences they've had with people with BPD, who are individually responsible for their failings in relationships after being properly diagnoses.

But I digress. BPD absolutely sucks. Wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. It's so much pain, alienation and suffering; my intense suicidal thoughts have been constant and visceral for around 15 years. It's like being trapped inside a locked room with a vicious bully constantly making me feel bad about EVERYTHING

Yeah you have a point. I only asked beacuse of the reason that isnt talked about often (i mean the male category) ofc in general whatever gender its sucks for any party.

But you bring an absolute to the point with your reply.

It was moslty my curiosity on what you say on toxic masculinity and such.