How to protect my loved ones from the pain?

[catsarecool]

I've been really lucky to meet a lot of wonderful people online that I spend with. Especially there's this one person who has gotten me thru a lot when i've gotten down really low and who has helped me to get through all the shit lately. It almost makes me feel guilty, knowing I have such loving friends and yet I'm so determined to die now. I haven't told them how I feel or about my plans because it wouldn't do any good and would just make things more difficult. But sometimes I am really tempted to let them know, to let it all out.

How do I make this the least painful as possible for them? I've been thinking of just acting like I'm fine and then disappearing online when I die. They'll probably think I just got bored with whatever game we're playing and moved on or something. Or at least thats what I like to think, but some of them know that I'm not doing so well mentally. Should I come up with a fake story? How do you disappear without it being suspicious? I'm trying not to let the cracks show but I'm failing.

Sometimes I think I should have killed myself ages ago so I wouldn't put this burden on more people.

 

[Anonymoussn]

The fact that you are going to leave people behind is inevitable, and it's something that almost every single person on this forum is going to have to deal with if they are to CTB.

If you decide to CTB, the fact that you are going to upset some people is a given. You cannot change that. It's easier said than done, but I would try not to beat yourself up about it. If they're just online friends, hopefully they will in time get over it.

 

[person123]

This guy simply told his family, that he will die, so they were ready.

 

[ColdenHaulfield]

What a powerful video. I found this sentence, written by an anti-choice journalist, particularly insulting: "When someone talks about euthanasia, don't support them out of a sense of misplaced pity. Persuade them life's worthwhile." Who gets to decide that my support is 'misplaced pity'? Who gets to decide that another person's life is worthwhile?