How to motivate yourself to do things when you don't feel like doing anything?

[makingpeacewithit]

Hi all!!

I've seen quite a lot of people posting here about a lack of desire to live and, consequently, a lack of will to do things, but I was wondering if anyone could recommend or share experiences as to what helped them start doing things they didn't want to do at all? I am not sure if my explanation of this is the best, so I will give an example of two things I am struggling with doing right now: my coursework, and my hobbies. I wanted to use both examples because I feel like it shows what I mean the best, I do not have desire to do anything, even things I love, because I struggle with not wanting to live at all, so even when I try to take counselor recommended "Breaks", I don't feel better as there isn't much of anything I want to be doing. Most of the time, I end up either consuming short form content that doesn't require much thought, or simply lie down not quite sleeping but not quite awake either. This that been the case for around 5 months, where I have constantly thought, planned out, or almost gone through with CTB.

Also, I usually struggle with feeling like my "time is up" when thinking about exams and deadlines, yet simply feel panicked while not doing much, almost like a prey animal giving up :( I am currently with a therapist, but all that she tells me is that "You just have to start," over and over, which doesn't really help me as in my head the logical answer to that is: "Well, I will probably just end my life and not have to do it anyways, so why bother?" I know its a bit of a defeatist mindset, but that is a part of why I include it here, if there are any therapy methods or exercises that could maybe help restructure this. This hit pretty hard for me because prior to 5 months ago I was a very good student who was working on getting two different diplomas, and had a studying regimene where I literally woke up at 6 AM to study before school, so not even being able to start writing one word or doing one physics problem is quite jarring to me (and also really scary!! Because I have projects and exams I have to do, that I have already extended the deadlines on due to the fact I am suicidal, that I need to do to pass!)

Because this is an advice thread I figured sharing somethings that personally helped me would be nice : ) For important self maintenance such as showers, oral hygeine, or food I usually try to set them as a very basic "do this at least once today, no pressure! :)" tasks to help build up a tolerance to them. Sometimes it is very very hard to do that first step, but usually I find that even doing only one thing can be helpful and make you less pressured to do it again next time. I am quite lucky because I have a family to support me in this regard, but even when alone things such as going out once a week to get some frozen food can really help shorten the anxiety that long "to do" lists cause me.

Some other things that help me are habits I tried to keep from a couple months ago before I really fell into my illness, such as a daily skin care routine (nothing special really, cleansing gel, toner, and moisturizer) that help me feel better about myself every morning. I usually also feel better when creating a separation between my bed and my "work" even if it is not related to a job but something like cooking or washing myself, by putting on clothes and brushing my hair, as well as trying to do things like my hobbies on things like a desk or floor instead of my bed.

Anyways, I hope that this thread may have helped or at least shown anyone reading it that they are not alone!! Hugs to you all, and apologies for any mistakes as English is not my first language.

 

[NZkiwi]

I think for me work has been a nice protective factor. Make it easier to structure my day when I have an obligation, similar to being at university.

 

[plimeix]

The getting started thing is super hard for me too. I started giving myself permission to do things badly and it's helped me to atleast start things because I don't have the pressure of needing to do things perfectly. I realized most things.. you just sort of have to jump in and do and the rest of it sort of takes care of itself in a way.

 

[Grasp of darkness]

Motivation is often a result of action. Therefore, you should act even when you have no motivation. Sometimes you'll still feel like shit, but you'll notice that the accomplishment of having done something will often push you to do more.

 

[homunculi]

i want to second allowing yourself to do things badly. that's really helped me out when it comes to hobbies. to combat the inability to start i have started to break tasks and projects down into smaller and easier things to accomplish. for example, instead of trying to do a full painting i'll spend time going back to basics like re-learning perspective by drawing a bunch of cubes. when i feel like i can't even do the cubes, i at least keep the sketchbook near so i know i can use it if i want to later. i have also found moving my body can be helpful for motivation. activity can be modified to your energy levels/current habits, like light stretching in bed or going for a longer walk than usual. adding movement can really help when you are feeling stuck in these ways.