How to make myself do it?

[przeciwwymiotne]

I'll soon have a completed SN kit, still trying to improve my life but I see no hope for myself.

How do I make myself cbt? The longer I put it off the worse my body and mind get, I'm not myself anymore. I'm a slave to my addictions and impulses. I fucked everything up and I am still making destructive decisions.

My whole body hurts me, I want peace, but I won't get it. My only option is nothingness, death.
How do I stop being afraid of death? How do I stop promising myself I'll change? I'm fooling myself. Please someone, I have to do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like only you know when it is the right time to leave, you cannot force yourself, I believe that it is a feeling the person has when they are certain about their decision and they have no more doubts. I think that many people manage to leave when they get desperate and the pain of living becomes unbearable for them and all they want is to be gone. I'm sorry that you suffer so much. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from what you are going through.

 

[8evergo]

In which you set a date a special day I will give myself death for my birthday gift

 

[OceanBlue]

Often, just before fully waking up I get a sudden rush of 'existential dread', that one day I will no longer exist and it's terrifying, no wonder the society can only continue to exist if it finds ways to suppress it. I think if we live, it means the coping mechanism works to some extent and that's why I get this feeling only before my consciousness fully awakens.

Because of the death anxiety that we try to suppress and the brain perceiving death as something that only happens to others, it's almost like it's not fully registering, the brain cannot comprehend its own death even if it planned it itself.

I've never been OK with the concept of death, erasing people without consent, you need to be really brave to take this step for yourself.

Since being scared is so exhausting, it may eventually lead to the final "fuck it" moment.

 

[Hope:-)]

I have the same problem- how to actually do it. I'm not that afraid of death in my case, I'm afraid of physical pain more than anything.
Sending lots of love your way; sorry I can't be of much help xx