Venting How to make heart just stop working?

[WallTermite]

I'm desperate. I need to something to make my heart stop. There is drowning but it scares me as it would be in the middle of nowhere. I've thought of od on magnesium glycinate, but it probably won't do anything besides upset stomach.

I just can't do anything. I live with family so ordering SN seems impossible. I don't have guns, I don't got anything. Rope is too risky for me. I wish I could hit my chest and get commotio cordis and just fucking dip out this existence.

There is salt od but it sucks, and so does water od.

I know starvation is a non method, but I'm considering it. Knowing my luck tho, I will pass out after 3 months and some mf will rescue me.

If I lived in a cold place I could just ctb by hypothermia, but this is a hot fucking tropical riggedy ass country. I'm losing my sanity, I have too many issues. Too many things going wrong without fix.

Also, at this point, I don't wanna be saved. I want to be part of the statistics. I want people to know my pain, I want them to know how much I hate it.

What if I ate 8 tubes of toothpaste? What if I get drunk and finally get courage to drown myself? Why am I human?? I could have been a jellyfish and not aware if anything, but my parents had to be stupid and have children because that what makes everyone happy. I fucking hate them so much. I wish they would die so I can be alone. I hate taking so much medication. Hasn't helped at all.

I want to die. I don't care if someone points a gun at me, just slime me with several bullets through the skull. I hate myself and I hate everyone.

 

[cantthinkofusername]

if you live with family and thus cant order any packages, then youre definitely not going to be able to successfully starve yourself to death. jumping is an option, as is ctb by train if youre near a track.

 

[itsgone2]

. I'm losing my sanity, I have too many issues. Too many things going wrong without fix.

Yes. It sucks but this happens to some people. We can't all be saved. It's so absurd that peaceful options don't exist

 

[3rdworldsadness]

Same feelings I hate my parents so so much for having me I hate I was born in different worst possible way and the condition are getting are just stupid. I can't with this I wish my hearts stops right now. ..

 

[ZwartHartje]

There are certain plants that can stop the heart, the tree of life and tree of death... Yes, some people have survived it, but in any case it's much better than eating toothpaste and such desperate things that likely wouldn't have any chance of working at all.

 

[doggo2355]

I'm desperate. I need to something to make my heart stop. There is drowning but it scares me as it would be in the middle of nowhere. I've thought of od on magnesium glycinate, but it probably won't do anything besides upset stomach.

I just can't do anything. I live with family so ordering SN seems impossible. I don't have guns, I don't got anything. Rope is too risky for me. I wish I could hit my chest and get commotio cordis and just fucking dip out this existence.

There is salt od but it sucks, and so does water od.

I know starvation is a non method, but I'm considering it. Knowing my luck tho, I will pass out after 3 months and some mf will rescue me.

If I lived in a cold place I could just ctb by hypothermia, but this is a hot fucking tropical riggedy ass country. I'm losing my sanity, I have too many issues. Too many things going wrong without fix.

Also, at this point, I don't wanna be saved. I want to be part of the statistics. I want people to know my pain, I want them to know how much I hate it.

What if I ate 8 tubes of toothpaste? What if I get drunk and finally get courage to drown myself? Why am I human?? I could have been a jellyfish and not aware if anything, but my parents had to be stupid and have children because that what makes everyone happy. I fucking hate them so much. I wish they would die so I can be alone. I hate taking so much medication. Hasn't helped at all.

I want to die. I don't care if someone points a gun at me, just slime me with several bullets through the skull. I hate myself and I hate everyone.

Drowning: I promise you you won't be able to go through with it, or if you manage to get into the water in a way you can't leave again you'll spend your last hours treading water in absolute panic.

Salt/Water OD: again, that is not a thing you body will permit you.

Starvation: so for one, your family is gonna notice pretty soon lol. also, not sure if you ever cut towards really low body fat but your mind won't think about anything other than food after a time. you *will* cave sooner rather than later.

hypothermia I had considered too in the winter but chance are you'll get found/wake up again with frostbite. and that just makes a shitty situation much worse.

I'm losing my sanity, I have too many issues.

Talk to people man. Message me privately. I promise you it can get better. I thought the exact same thing as you. Depending on your situation, maybe you will never be able to entirely stop the draw suicide might have for you, but it is manageable at least. I promise.