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martinso67

All human rights are important
Feb 5, 2021
362
I don't like society and the majority of humans except like you guys in this forum (except pro life guys).
Why? BECAUSE they are the biggest reason why I am trapped. I want to leave life. It's time. I had enough of life. Living for (now) 29 consecutive years is enough. I have chronic health issues (major ones: like underweight, and fatigue that comes and goes through the days). I don't have the financial means (under employed and depend on parents) to deal with any further disease or old age diseases.

Life for me as a human sucks as. I know I have some privileges like born in a first world country with one of the best welfare states in the world. But that stuff is interesting for normies, who like life in a sense that they aspire average things. Like having a job, staying in the country your born with and enjoying socializing.
Earning money is so hard for me and I also cannot work in a full time job. I can't concentrate and my anxiety ruins it. Could not sleep at night and got high blood pressure because of that. It also makes me real depressed having a full time job and that thinking of going to sleep to work tomorrow. It's a sad feeling like for example: The feeling of pro life people knowing oneself will die young because of cancer.

How can I with a budget of about 800 USD afford a safe CTB method. I checked many flights and the safest flight to the N holy land in South America costs about 1200 USD.
So I can't work really to earn real money. Not the peanuts I earn now being underemployed with my short online part time job. But I also cannot (which Is more important) travel to South America and fulfill my last important wish to CTB.

I researched this South America CTB method. I got positive feedbacks of people who done it. And the main author of PPEH, which I trust and I highly appreciate dearest in my heart. He recommends it as well.

WHY? Why I am ignored? People talk to me only if they want something of me. F### this world. Or they waste my time with useless talk. Nothing informative. Like NPCs.
 
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jinx <3

jinx <3

🌸she/her🏳️‍⚧️
Apr 12, 2023
87
It really sucks to not be heard by those around you. That's why this website is so important to connect people with similar experiences. I hope you either find a way out that's peaceful or improve your current situation.
 
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Reactions: martinso67
T

Traveller12724

Experienced
May 14, 2024
264
People on here seem to have replaced N with SN since it's more available.
 
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Reactions: martinso67 and Timothy7dff
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,730
I just find it so incredibly hellish and extremely cruel how we exist in such an anti-suicide society where suicide isn't seen as a valid option with people expected to continue suffering no matter what. I wish that guaranteed, painless methods are accessible, having access to a method like Nembutal would be such a relief for me as I see nothing desirable about being trapped in this existence for decades on end just to die slowly and painfully from old age, in my case I wish I never existed. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for, I understand that it's so dreadful feeling stuck here.
 
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Reactions: martinso67 and Traveller12724

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