Meowers
Member
- Sep 13, 2024
- 27
I broke up with him yesterday. And I regret it, so bad. I am disinterested in doing anything else than doomscrolling and rotting in my bed. Eating feels like a sin. I ate a sandwich but I don't like feeling "full" so I purged to feel clean and empty. I used to be a compulsive SH-er and it got so bad before I got sent to the hospital and spent time on the psych ward which is not free. The costs made me quit. I was spending so much on my SH supplies and hospital visits. I am currently clean for a year and three months. But now, I keep on fantasizing slicing my arm and mess it up. I believe I have no ability of how to cope in a healthy way, everything feels too exhausting now. How to cope in a way that is healthy when healthy coping is just not interesting and sounds so exhausting? I'm just so tired right now, and I want the pain and all this crying to go away. How to convince yourself that you're not a terrible person? It feels like delusion.