Help how to confront ass friends

[A Sit of Doubting]

how do u not build up hatred for people who are so lovey dovey nice sweet to your bullies? give me a perspective to consider bc is this not just being so self conceited??? how do i just trample on this resentment because despite them being so kind to the people who persecute me, they do bring a good time lol.

if i were to confront them, what would i even say? that in favor of me, they have to adjust unilaterally just to keep me happy? it feels so mean idk. i want to pursue this "friendship" because i have no one, but if this is what i should expect from these i dont really want it, but if this is the alternative to communication, i also wanna know how to go about that.

ive been having these feelings for a long while, and to be honest, regarding my last post lol i don't know if i want to stay in my school so is this even worth it? itll bring trouble and idk god are they even worth it lol. no ones perfect n i do share flaws n im sometimes a bitch so ig its not undeserved

i want to confront them but theyre not exactly blueprint critical thinkers and one doesnt really harbor positive feelings for me. she always puts me down when she gets the chance but them as a whole (3) are basically a package deal. idk if i can change her outlook on me bc it seems like shes only reserving this cruelty to me.

now im rlly upset lol imagine not having any good friends what do i have to show in my life??? anyway tldr how do i confront people who are wobbling on the threshold of indirectly bullying me and being my friend if i even should???

 

[webb&flow]

how do u not build up hatred for people who are so lovey dovey nice sweet to your bullies? give me a perspective to consider bc is this not just being so self conceited??? how do i just trample on this resentment because despite them being so kind to the people who persecute me, they do bring a good time lol.

Are those people aware of what the bullies did to you?

if i were to confront them, what would i even say?

There are many ways to go about it. Remember this is your own life: you have the express right to talk about it.

I hope to write to you later in terms of specific directions . I don't want to give half-baked advice that might cause more conundrum .

that in favor of me, they have to adjust unilaterally just to keep me happy? it feels so mean idk. i want to pursue this "friendship" because i have no one, but if this is what i should expect from these i dont really want it, but if this is the alternative to communication, i also wanna know how to go about that.

There are many different ways and I hope to write more to you on this :).

ive been having these feelings for a long while, and to be honest, regarding my last post lol i don't know if i want to stay in my school so is this even worth it? itll bring trouble and idk god are they even worth it lol. no ones perfect n i do share flaws n im sometimes a bitch so ig its not undeserved

I mean… it is a constant stream of trigger and trauma for you. Also you're not a bitch this is a reasonable concern good friend

i want to confront them but theyre not exactly blueprint critical thinkers and one doesnt really harbor positive feelings for me. she always puts me down when she gets the chance but them as a whole (3) are basically a package deal. idk if i can change her outlook on me bc it seems like shes only reserving this cruelty to me.

I'm sorry to hear she's such a jerk to you. May you be free to cut such people off in the future .

now im rlly upset lol imagine not having any good friends what do i have to show in my life??? anyway tldr how do i confront people who are wobbling on the threshold of indirectly bullying me and being my friend if i even should???

It is not your deficiency, but theirs.

I'm glad to see you are able to see when people are standing, even in slight, against you.

I should think carefully about what I advise you because I don't want you to experience any more bother than you already have .

Take care of yourself, @A Sit of Doubting. Hoping to correspond more with you in the future.

 

[A Sit of Doubting]

you're so sweet hahahh ive been putting off reading your reply for a while because i still have a semblance of shame nestled in me LOL thank you for taking the time to read my struggle bus

Are those people aware of what the bullies did to you?

theyre very much aware, and i had talked to one of them before about how i found it so off with them being passive abt it all. i guess it's natural to look out for yourself but it just feels so irking to me, bc i have defended them many times previously.

many times they lack gratification and i feel so hurt lol i know these feelings arent misplaced but it feels so selfish in a way ? bc despite me coming to terms w these thoughts, i still cant bring myself to confront them.

they vocalized that they thought of me as a good friend on several occassions, and im not too eager to destroy that image. im not foaming at the mouth to be confronted lol i dont think anyone is, so im handing them that consideration. it just hurts, because whatever energy i put into of being that great of a person towards it, they'll never reciprocate to even a trifling degree.

I'm sorry to hear she's such a jerk to you. May you be free to cut such people off in the future .

thank you hahah i just feel the most strongly against her bc wouldn't you give others the same consideration you expect from them? she's sensitive, so i can't respond with the same biting remarks she's so eager to incite. im just as sensitive as her and ive said it before, but she just refuses to listen. she's the blueprint critical thinker ever, and can easily spot deflection, so i doubt that she's being rude solely bc of her ignorance. whenever it gets to a point and she can't just evade the situation in its entirety, she apologizes very begrudgedly. she hates insincere apologies but doesn't mind when it comes from her own self lol

she's like this not only with her faults, but also in regards with how she empathizes. she seriously cannot sympathize with me and this other friend she has. like us as the select few she decides to mistreat.

she told me on many occasions how she sees me as not worth it and constantly downplays my emotions but i know that she's capable of love and care bc ive seen her be kind to others. i wish she would just tell me if she wanted to end our "friendship" instead of causing this unnecessary torment.

sometimes she offers very valuable advice and truly sweet words so im constantly conflicted whether i should just scrape my entire idea of confrontation altogether

idk im not too keen on resuming our friendship anyway, so maybe ill just slowly drift away bc i cant exact the same pain shes caused me lol im just not that type of person

 

[webb&flow]

you can always make new friends. you are not doomed to only be with those who are currently with you. making new friends is difficult and loneliness is tough to deal with, but even if the journey is rough the destination is so so worth it. And perhaps the scenes you'll see on the route will be more curious and inspiring than one may think.

Your friends should be your refuge, not your enemy.