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Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
179
Please help, I don't want to impulsively ctb I have a plan and I want to wait for the time that I can carry out that plan but right now I just have this overwhelming need to kill myself I can't control it and I'm afraid that I will do something I regret. How do I stop this feeling and just calm down?
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,811
Sometimes I put my hand out and project all of the things that make me want to die to the other side, creating a barrier between us. Then I observe whatever remains and feel grounded.

Another one is focusing on keeping track of basic survival. Thinking about for how long you could survive with the amount of water and food you have in your system, which weapons you have, tools for shelter and fire, etc.

Another one is meditation, but that's usually getting dunked on 24/7 around these parts so I'm scared to bring it up. Anyway, the point in this case is to allow the anxiety and fear to be whilst noting them.

Another is making a mind-map of the worst case scenarios, write it down (important). Everything that you fear, what would happen to get there, etc.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
Please help, I don't want to impulsively ctb I have a plan and I want to wait for the time that I can carry out that plan but right now I just have this overwhelming need to kill myself I can't control it and I'm afraid that I will do something I regret. How do I stop this feeling and just calm down?
I write in a journal whenever I'm feeling super overwhelmed. I plan on burning it before I ctb, so I know nobody will read it. This lets me write whatever I want no matter how private and get my thoughts out into the world. It's like screaming into the void, but a lot quieter.
 
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M

MoreThanAFeeling

Specialist
Feb 23, 2020
392
Take a shower with ice cold water.
 
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W

Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
179
I try to write down my thoughts because often they are going so fast that it's hard to understand them. Normally this helps but for some reason today it just made me feel 100x worse. I was told to try meditation by the mental health team but honestly that just isn't me, although I did find breathing exercises helpful but only for a couple minutes until it starts again. I'm not ready to die yet and I think knowing this and having overwhelming urges sends me into this panic mode where I'm no longer in control if that makes sense.
 
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Tackingintothewind

Tackingintothewind

Mage
Mar 2, 2021
530
I phone the samaritans until the moment passes, it seems to work for me
 
W

Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
179
I phone the samaritans until the moment passes, it seems to work for me

I've thought about it before but I've never called a helpline before and something about it just makes me anxious. I'm not good at explaining how I'm feeling when I'm overwhelmed and so I don't think I'd do well at holding a conversation.
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
Destroy something.
 
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Carrotcake

Carrotcake

Experienced
Nov 27, 2019
265
Listen to music loud enough so that you can't hear your own thoughts
 
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W

Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
179
Listen to music loud enough so that you can't hear your own thoughts

definitely works for me did this while also doing the ice pack thing suggested above and I'm starting to feel better.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Breathing deeply never worked for me so here's what I do when I'm about to ctb:

-Think of "my" method and the chances of failing, which are big. I've already failed once and lived in hell for 6 months. I won't act impulsively never ever again and if I'm about to do it, I'll just think of this.

-Send my mind to a happy moment in the past or imagine a better future. I think so much of the past and future that sometimes, I'm able to forget about the present.

-Take some sleeping pills and go to the happy dream world.

-Pamper my dog

-Watch anime and play videogames.

This stuff has been able to keep me in this world so far and not act impulsively (again).
 
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I

I_just_cba

Member
Mar 27, 2021
40
I'm in exactly the same situation as you today. I have a plan for CTB over the next year but today I just really wanted to do it right now. I was hysterical, crying and couldn't sit still.

What helped me was to put myself in a situation where I'm not listening to my thoughts. Just had a meeting at work which took my mind off it but also I started to watch a film and that calmed me down.
 
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Whole-Ad

Student
Apr 4, 2021
179
I'm in exactly the same situation as you today. I have a plan for CTB over the next year but today I just really wanted to do it right now. I was hysterical, crying and couldn't sit still.

What helped me was to put myself in a situation where I'm not listening to my thoughts. Just had a meeting at work which took my mind off it but also I started to watch a film and that calmed me down.
Yeah I feel you with the whole hysterical crying and can't sit still. For me I get aches in my legs that are unbearable unless I'm moving around, my breathing gets super fast and I start sweating like crazy, have a nervous feeling in my stomach and racing thoughts. It's really horrible. Whenever this happens I try to put myself in a situation where I know I can't harm myself, normally this is going into work early or picking up a shift for that day since I'm then preoccupied and not really in a position to kill myself anymore. Unfortunately I've been given no shifts this week because they believe I need time off so it's been pretty hard.
 
JustAMatterOfTime

JustAMatterOfTime

Fragile
Mar 21, 2021
905
I am very high strung only way I can calm down is taking extra meds
 

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