311
Dying cat
- Nov 24, 2018
- 779
I just thought about that for a second and it's sad. I need to ctb soon
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Minudah
Stupid
- Dec 3, 2018
- 1,356
I was a regular on ASH and ASM back in the day too, I made my first internet account ever to sign up for those. Would've done it already if it were easier. Feels pathetic that I've been frequenting these places for over 10 years and still haven't succeeded yet.
EmotionlessWanderer
Specialist
- Jan 19, 2019
- 352
Honestly I would be sad if this forum gets shut down or some shit. Yes it may be a suicide forum but you could vent out your problems and opinions without being judged plus you can find people to relate to very easily.
311
Dying cat
- Nov 24, 2018
- 779
True. But when you reflect it's also macabre.
noonetoo
Specialist
- Mar 7, 2019
- 386
Without being judged? I'll find that hard to believe. But looking forward to the new journey. People to relate to? That'll be awesome. I've had very bad luck with that.
& it's not really sad if you're a regular... especially if you're blessed with fitting in.Last edited:
EmotionlessWanderer
Specialist
- Jan 19, 2019
- 352
Yes people could be judging me behind the screen as of this moment but it's not as bad as having to deal with it full face in the real world.
noonetoo
Specialist
- Mar 7, 2019
- 386
True ...but "behind the screen" is ignorant judgment. It's not as damaging online. :)
CFLoser
I fcking hate myself
- Dec 5, 2018
- 609
Pulpit2018
Experienced
- Oct 8, 2018
- 287
I dont find it sad.We are kinda lucky that we have a space like this.
Angst Filled Fuck Up
Illuminati
- Sep 9, 2018
- 3,152
It's not sad if you're happy while posting, which I usually am. This layout though. It's gotta go.
Invisible 73
Member
- Jun 22, 2019
- 71
Wish that emoji was just a regular heart. Youre not pathetic for that! Youre just stuck in a crappy existence. And youre right, its not ab easy thing to actually ctb. If&when you're really ready to do it, I think that's when it becomes easy.
From my short time here, I don't think its sad at all. I find this group to be a supportive and comforting place. Something we can't find irl, especially on this topic! I bet its saved a lot more lives then anyone may realize. Just by the people here providing those things. No matter what our decision may ultimately be. XoxoLast edited:
SelfHatingAspie
Ambitious but rubbish
- Jul 2, 2019
- 198
As counterintuitive as it sounds, I find suicide forums are actually helpful and may have kept me alive for longer than I otherwise would have. Knowing that there are plenty of people waiting to ctb makes me feel less alone.
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
Not.
Perfect place for me. Perfect place to meet other people who see how pointless and stupid life and society are. Obviously I hope it will help me grow enough balls to ctb soon, some people here are really inspiring with their determination. I only expect to be a "regular" for a few more weeks though. Then I should have other stuff to do, or be dead.Attachments
262653
Cluesome
- Apr 5, 2018
- 1,733
I think it's amusing. A regular. On a suicide forum! HAHAHAHA
Retched
I see the chaos in your eyes.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 837
Even during this period I have right now of feeling ok, and not having invasive thought of ctb, I can't give up this site. There is too much in here I relate to.
Rukia
Enlightened
- Jun 3, 2019
- 1,078
Well I am not sure if to be sad or amused...For sure one shouldnt feel the pressure to CBT...It is no some requirement when joining...
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
Lol I love the layout, this forum functions much better on my phone than others, even though I have slow data.Depends what people mean by sad.
Yes, it's sad that there's something in some people, something in the DNA, that makes them (me, us) want to CBT. The life you have, it's the only one you have and you really ought be able to live it to its fullest and enjoy it.... BUT... it doesn't seem to be that simple. Something gets in the way.
For whatever reason, I've accepted that for some people (people like me), life is not enjoyable. Every single fucking day is a chore, a game where I try to divert myself from my desire to die. No, it's not as straight toward as 'sometimes we all feel down' (as we've heard FAR too often) For me, down is normality and 'sometimes I feel up'. Sometimes, I'm happy, sometimes. I really am tired of that. Tired of having to lift myself day after day.
Yes, it's sad that anyone should feel like that. Sad because it's not how it ought to be.
But, the person who feels like that cannot be blamed. I don't think they want to be like that.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,201
Well, I keep alternating between being ashamed of myself for ever having polluted this place with my presence (like I have polluted all other places I have visited, both real and virtual), and needing it to survive. Which is ironic, considering the purpose of the place.
I keep berating myself for not having the spine to CTB, and continuously coming back here to suck on the pool of empathy that this place provides. I feel guilty for taking away from said pool, because I feel that I don't deserve it, unlike some of the other members who have real problems.
I know how pathetic and needy this sounds, but this place is extremely good at making me lower all my defenses.
