Discussion How pleased are you with your level of empathy? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I suspect either too much or, too little empathy can get us into trouble. Where do you feel you sit?

I think when I was younger, I had a lot more empathy. Although, maybe sympathy would be a better word. I think I actively tried to encourage my empathy by imagining how difficult it must be for others so- that's another question I suppose. How much is innate and how much do we learn or try to develop?

Now though, my empathy levels seem to vary, according to what mood I'm in. Sometimes I think we can become over saturated so- we just don't have the same space to care about others. Maybe it's not that we stop caring though. Maybe we just try to remove ourself from situations in which we are expected to care. We may feel we need to stop watching the news for example.

What's your experience though? I know we have some highly sensitive empaths here who feel the weight of all the world's problems. There again, there are also people who feel lesa able to feel anything now. Has your life changed your experience and approach to it? Was it a conscious decision to try to become less or more empathetic. What level do you suppose you had genetically? If you believe it is inherited as well as taught.

I think I was born to be nicer than I am!

 

[Pluto]

 

[MissAbyss]

It feels like a curse..

 

[jimmyinnout]

I am entirely normal in terms of empathy. Entirely. So it does not change anything.

I would be considered low empathy by most, but that is because I absolutely refuse to pretend I care about issues that I really dont. I also do not like people who make a massive display of being empathetic. Such people are living reminders that hitler was a vegan.

 

[LoverofAnimals]

No matter how good your empathy is, it's nothing compared to animals.



If it weren't for my brothers (my 2 dogs), I would be long gone. With one look they can tell you more than any person ever could.

Every dog I've had has showed me love that I didn't know was possible. They are forever in my heart, and if I have one wish after I pass, it's to see them one more time

 

[MissAbyss]

No matter how good your empathy is, it's nothing compared to animals.

View attachment 180479

If it weren't for my brothers (my 2 dogs), I would be long gone. With one look they can tell you more than any person ever could.

Every dog I've had has showed me love that I didn't know was possible. They are forever in my heart, and if I have one wish after I pass, it's to see them one more time

This breaks me!
The same goes for my little girl
I would have been gone already.
And my little man who's already up there, somewhere. Hopefully, one day we'll be back together. That's my only wish, the pack back together.

 

[Manaaja]

My empathy has never helped anyone. Yeah, they might feel heard, loved, respected, understood, better for a moment, but next day it's the same old shit. And of course you can't feel empathic without feeling the pain of unfairness, so it hurts you. So you are hurt and that other person's life didn't get any better. You both lose. Empathy is just a snake oil.

 

[whiskeyblanket]

Empathy does not come natural to me, but I have figured out how to leverage it to optimally perform my job at a high level. That being said, performing empathy is quite draining.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I have way too much. It causes me to blow a fuse so to speak and act exactly as if I had no empathy at all, because it's too overwhelming.

 

[TAW122]

I'd say it tends to vary because IRL I had people say that I had empathy, even if I wasn't really empathetic or trying to be. Then again, some people have criticized my callousness and insensitivity when interacting with them on various topics or my behavior in general.

 

[Hystearical]

I'm tired of pumping out more empathy into the world than I get directed my way.

 

[kitlin]

I think I have a normal amount of empathy, well I guess its hard to know since our feelings are so subjective, but I wish I had more. I hate it when I notice myself being unempathetic, sometimes I'll be in a mood or I'll just not like someone and then I'll completely disregard their perspective and only think about myself. I think I am being a bit unfair on myself when saying this though, I think I tend to think more negatively about myself whenever I express a trait I really dislike. I'm always worried that I'm not a kind person and I really want to be, but sometimes I think I'm really selfish. I think if I was more empathetic I would be less egotistical, but maybe if I was less egotistical I would be more empathetic. How do I stop thinking about myself?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I have a normal amount of empathy, well I guess its hard to know since our feelings are so subjective, but I wish I had more. I hate it when I notice myself being unempathetic, sometimes I'll be in a mood or I'll just not like someone and then I'll completely disregard their perspective and only think about myself. I think I am being a bit unfair on myself when saying this though, I think I tend to think more negatively about myself whenever I express a trait I really dislike. I'm always worried that I'm not a kind person and I really want to be, but sometimes I think I'm really selfish. I think if I was more empathetic I would be less egotistical, but maybe if I was less egotistical I would be more empathetic. How do I stop thinking about myself?

I know what you mean. Sometimes, I'm not in the most sympathetic of moods when, I know I ought to be.

There again, I'm not actually sure it is wise to be constantly empathetic and sympathetic to some people. Some people will take advantage of that. Some will see it as a weakness they can exploit. Maybe your instincts to show less empathy sometimes are showing up to protect you. It's not encouraging you to be rude but, I think some people, it's safer to keep some distance from.

In some ways, I'd say it was necessary to think of yourself/ have an ego. I'd say the majority of people put themselves first. It's no real wonder- we all have pressing needs we need to fill. But, if you aren't looking out for you, who else is? I think it's possible to have a balance though.

Also- say you lose your ego. You live entirely to please others and pander to their needs. Some may well give you love and gratitude back but some may just suck you dry. In which case, you may start to feel resentful- which isn't an appealing quality either. I think having an ego means we will likely set boundaries- which are important I think- for healthy, reciprocal relationships. So, I tend to think both are good in good measure: care for ourself and, care for others.

 

[liquid jen]

If a child or old person experiences even a minor inconvenience I might cry. But if anybody else beyond my close loved ones goes through a great tragedy, I rarely extend the same amount, but its not zero. Overall I'd say I'm overly empathetic tho, but occasionally lacking.

My current mood does alter it though for sure.

 

[divinemistress87]

Mine varies sometimes I have a lot of empathy and other times not much

 

[Izolita]

appropriate responses

 

[FoxSauce]

Well too much to be honest to the point I dont see malice in people and yes has bite me in the ass.

Sometimes my emotions blind me to see if a person is only using my kindness as a means to an end than being genuine.

I dont like it sometimes since ig in the real world you need to be a bit harder to actually not fall for manipulation and just full on taking advantage.

Is hard for me to learn something like that also worde besides the fact that sometimes when I set boundaries either criticized or is a way to being disrespectful.