Dovahki11n
New Member
- Apr 29, 2026
- 2
As a kid, my own mother didn't like me very much and showed that verbally when she said to me countless times, "I disown you. I wish I were dead so I wouldn't have to deal with you." I remember one time she was crying after hitting me and she loudly said, "I wish to die. I pray to God to die and be relieved of you." and she surely didn't like me based on how she used to make me her slapping bag.
One day, my father bought me a new belt for my pants and it was too big. She was in the kitchen, so I asked her if I could use something pointy to poke a hole in the belt. She looked at me and said, "Let me see." I showed her, and then she saw some leftover food on my new pants. She got mad immediately, started looking at me with hate, and said, "Should I keep washing your clothes every day?" She was on her knees at that moment, holding a kitchen knife, and said, "I swear to God, if I didn't want a scandal among the neighbors, I would have stabbed you and been done with you."
So, what do you expect a kid who heard a mentally sick mother constantly wishing to die to grow up to be? I grew up to be suicidal myself, but ironically enough, my mother changed. She treats me differently now, and I don't want to kill myself and hurt her feelings. But I have never forgotten what she did. I never call her unless she calls me, and I try my best to distance myself from her and I still want to kill myself and I grow up to hate myself.
English is not my first language so don't mind the erorrs.
One day, my father bought me a new belt for my pants and it was too big. She was in the kitchen, so I asked her if I could use something pointy to poke a hole in the belt. She looked at me and said, "Let me see." I showed her, and then she saw some leftover food on my new pants. She got mad immediately, started looking at me with hate, and said, "Should I keep washing your clothes every day?" She was on her knees at that moment, holding a kitchen knife, and said, "I swear to God, if I didn't want a scandal among the neighbors, I would have stabbed you and been done with you."
So, what do you expect a kid who heard a mentally sick mother constantly wishing to die to grow up to be? I grew up to be suicidal myself, but ironically enough, my mother changed. She treats me differently now, and I don't want to kill myself and hurt her feelings. But I have never forgotten what she did. I never call her unless she calls me, and I try my best to distance myself from her and I still want to kill myself and I grow up to hate myself.
English is not my first language so don't mind the erorrs.
