Riaxd
My medical condition ruined everything
- Jul 17, 2026
- 302
I was born with strabismus(eye turn) and i had surgery at 4 years old in the Netherlands it did not go well which is common with this type of surgery and they wanted to do another surgery a month later but my parents just decided to move countries before they could do it which is so annoying and i hate them for that since this condition is a massive reason why im on this forum and want to end it (also because of abuse)
Throughout my whole life ive been bullied really bad especially in secondary school by older kids, people my age ,teachers, and students from other schools. Everyone avoided me because i was a 'wierdo' because of how i looked i was getting hit everyday after school most of the time and teachers noticed and didnt care and said it was my fault because the students were telling everyone rumours about me saying i was hacking everyones accounts at 11 years old like what
People recorded me getting jumped and sent it around and while im minding my buisness in lessons and i was a VERY quiet shy kid and there would be students going to my classroom shouting insults and laughing at me and the whole class joined in aswell as the teachers because they didnt think the condition affected me when it did i never used to cry at school but only at home where i also self harmed and when i was about 8-12 years old i believed in god so every night i cried while begging him to not let me wake up in the morning
I never had any friends because everyone avoided me because of how i looked and i just hid in the bathrooms at lunch and break and teachers used to insult me too infront of everyone i remember one time i was looking at myself in a pocket mirror and he said something like idk how yu can look at urself if you look like that. something like that and teachers laughing about my condition was really common because its not a condition that people take seriously and i think a big part of that is because of how movies and films portray people with strabismus as people that are stupid and dumb and i forgot to mention but the bullying and hitting was multiple times a day
And obviously because of all this bullying i never did any eye contact, i never go outside ,i always look down ,i dont talk to people etc because of how embarrassing it is i get insulted everywhere i go even by strangers laughing at me and if i do have to speak to someone i shake SO bad and get really nervous to the point where i struggle to listen to what they are even saying .
But finally in march i did get a appointment wuth a consultant and i didnt know before the appointment it was about surgery i thought it was just a normal appointment where they do measurements and i just cried to them for the first time and it was the first time i cried to anyone abour it. she told me about me getting surgery and how i would get it soon and i cried so bad out of happiness nearly everyday and the condition is not just affecting someone cosmetically but other people have double vision and many more but for me i have constant eye muscle pain like a pulling feeling so i was so relieved that would be gone
But the surgery is very risky theres a lot of risks that are really common like overcorrection where it goes the other way or double vision and theres many more horrible risks like blindness.but i didnt care and i got an surgery date on the 8th if july but it got cancelled 2 days before because the surgeon wants to be extra careful which i love her for but i still got really upset but she wants me to wear glasses for 2 months to see my real measurements because part of my turn is because of me focusing too much and the surgery can go really wrong if she doesnt know my real measurements without that
And i really want to spread awareness about this condition because no one seems to take it seriously which im so upset about
Throughout my whole life ive been bullied really bad especially in secondary school by older kids, people my age ,teachers, and students from other schools. Everyone avoided me because i was a 'wierdo' because of how i looked i was getting hit everyday after school most of the time and teachers noticed and didnt care and said it was my fault because the students were telling everyone rumours about me saying i was hacking everyones accounts at 11 years old like what
People recorded me getting jumped and sent it around and while im minding my buisness in lessons and i was a VERY quiet shy kid and there would be students going to my classroom shouting insults and laughing at me and the whole class joined in aswell as the teachers because they didnt think the condition affected me when it did i never used to cry at school but only at home where i also self harmed and when i was about 8-12 years old i believed in god so every night i cried while begging him to not let me wake up in the morning
I never had any friends because everyone avoided me because of how i looked and i just hid in the bathrooms at lunch and break and teachers used to insult me too infront of everyone i remember one time i was looking at myself in a pocket mirror and he said something like idk how yu can look at urself if you look like that. something like that and teachers laughing about my condition was really common because its not a condition that people take seriously and i think a big part of that is because of how movies and films portray people with strabismus as people that are stupid and dumb and i forgot to mention but the bullying and hitting was multiple times a day
And obviously because of all this bullying i never did any eye contact, i never go outside ,i always look down ,i dont talk to people etc because of how embarrassing it is i get insulted everywhere i go even by strangers laughing at me and if i do have to speak to someone i shake SO bad and get really nervous to the point where i struggle to listen to what they are even saying .
But finally in march i did get a appointment wuth a consultant and i didnt know before the appointment it was about surgery i thought it was just a normal appointment where they do measurements and i just cried to them for the first time and it was the first time i cried to anyone abour it. she told me about me getting surgery and how i would get it soon and i cried so bad out of happiness nearly everyday and the condition is not just affecting someone cosmetically but other people have double vision and many more but for me i have constant eye muscle pain like a pulling feeling so i was so relieved that would be gone
But the surgery is very risky theres a lot of risks that are really common like overcorrection where it goes the other way or double vision and theres many more horrible risks like blindness.but i didnt care and i got an surgery date on the 8th if july but it got cancelled 2 days before because the surgeon wants to be extra careful which i love her for but i still got really upset but she wants me to wear glasses for 2 months to see my real measurements because part of my turn is because of me focusing too much and the surgery can go really wrong if she doesnt know my real measurements without that
And i really want to spread awareness about this condition because no one seems to take it seriously which im so upset about
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thank you so much!!!
Your words make me cry too. 
,so much perseverance but so much suffering too.
