how long have you felt depressed/suicidal?

[prince345]

apologies if this has been discussed one too many times, but I'm curious. personally I've not wanted to exist anymore since I was 11, and I'm 21 now. the feelings have just escalated, with 4-6 months of continued, linear happiness within that time period (around when I was 16) how about y'all?

 

[Rational man]

About 1 year now since terminal diagnosis. I dont fear death too much because i will die one day. but i fear the dying process of pain and indignity. if i had a switch t that turned off my life i would switch it today probably in my favourite forest near a stream. Still not existing is a strange thought.

 

[Lebensunwertes]

Not sure about depression, because everybody whines about being depressed nowadays. Most do that for attention. I never went to be diagnosed with depression so I do not feel at liberty to proclaim myself as a depressed person, mostly to respect people with real diagnosed debilitating depression which makes them completely unable to function properly. As for being suicidal - since late teenagehood. Earliest ideas popped into my head around the age of 15-16 probably, but they weren't so strong. Just an idea. Then it grew over time and came in waves. I had my attempt at the age of 20, then remained fairly okay until 24 and it strongly grew over time.

 

[Lost Magic]

I have been depressed and anxious all my life. Wouldn't want this for anyone.

 

[AloneInCollege]

I remember a time when I was a kid where wasn't depressed but only as a little kid I think. Memory is weird. I think I started to be depressed when I was like 11 or 12, I was diagnosed when I was 12. Though I had some weird habits as a kid that I now recognize as anxiety so who knows when the depression part started.

because everybody whines about being depressed nowadays. Most do that for attention

Yes! I hate it when people use the word depressed when they mean sad.

 

[Darkover]

since i was 18 i've been depressed and sucidal every since my gf left me, never recovered from that now 18 years later i am on the verge of getting sn and drinking itjust waiting into i get paid this month by next month i'll probably be gone.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

This current nightmare has been a year but darkness has been with me my whole life…

 

[LookingforAnswers]

July 10th 2021

 

[Idontmatter]

Since I was a kid but now in my 40s the suicidal thoughts are overwhelming.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I have never wanted to live at all. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. I could never understand people who wanted to live and I have always preferred the sound of non existence. My life has always only been suffering. I have been suicidal for a long time now, and now I am 21, and the thought of suffering like this for many more decades is a horrifying thought. Existence is so pointless and unnecessary but at the same time so depressing and painful. I envy those who are gone.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Since ive been dysphoric.

 

[deletednumber]

8-10 years at least....my best years,my youth,the twenties are gone...devoured by depression and really terrible sufferance :(

 

[_Minsk]

I was a melancholic kid, at 12-14yo i started to feel depressed which stayed with me most of the part till today. Suicidal thoughts came to me at 15yo or so but weren't consistent over the whole time. At 20yo, my suicidal thoughts got more intense.

 

[IWillSmileWhenIDie]

I thought about it and made plans to jump out the window at 7/8 but told my mum and don't remember thinking seriously about it that much till some years ago. I also remember not knowin about what happened after death and wondering at 6 or so and not wanting to reincarnate or something, just die and go back to the nonexistence I came from. Death sure sounds soothing af if it weren't for the pain and difficulty of killin yourself, I really would like to have that freedom and die when I want just like when you play a game and exit when you want, so bad life's a bitch of a game in that regard.

 

[Hurt]

I've been feeling suicidal for YEARS. Guess this is chronic depression.

 

[LastNightOfTheWorld]

For me, just the past two months, it was sudden downhill for me

 

[mundanejane]

15 fuckng years…..

 

[ineedrope]

I'll say since I was 13. I am 25 now. I've had ups and downs and sometimes where I was not. So on and off. Id say since from age 13 to now the times my depression has been the worst was 2020 and this year

 

[MaybeThisTime]

15 years

 

[TheBroken]

Age 11 or 12

 

[Orange010]

13 or 14, I wanted to disappear.
23 is when it changed from disappearing to dying.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

27 years. My brothers suicide sent me into the same spiral. Failed marriage, then became a widow and now with a narcissist. Yeah death is better.

 

[LeavingEarly]

About 1 year now since terminal diagnosis. I dont fear death too much because i will die one day. but i fear the dying process of pain and indignity. if i had a switch t that turned off my life i would switch it today probably in my favourite forest near a stream. Still not existing is a strange thought.

Sorry to hear. What diagnosis?

 

[TheDoomedDoomer]

apologies if this has been discussed one too many times, but I'm curious. personally I've not wanted to exist anymore since I was 11, and I'm 21 now. the feelings have just escalated, with 4-6 months of continued, linear happiness within that time period (around when I was 16) how about y'all?

I've been depressed/suicidal since I was 13. I'm currently 21 also. I didn't live life like I had a future cause I never thought I'd make it to see adulthood. Now I feel stuck. It's been 8 years of this and I'm ready to go soon.

 

[ornitier199]

Since birth.
They sued to tell me how 'different' I was as a child. I can't remember that far back, so I only had them to tell them.

 

[hellispink]

Since I was 11 years old. I remember writing it in ny diary. I didn't understood why my parents left me, neither why I was constantly told I was ugly and worthless at school. Long time has passed.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Probably since I was a small child and my parents were always yelling at each other. Another time I tried was when I was 13 and hoped to run away from home and die of starvation or thirst.

 

[Sleepykitty]

The first time I wrapped a belt around my neck and tried to die was age 9? 10?(currently 32...33...one of those). Somewhere between 4th and 5th grade. Hours later mum seen the marks from the belt. I did try. Silly kid.

I've been broken since birth... why does that sound like a lyric I've heard... I have never belonged or fit this world. It isn't mine. It may sound cliche now but those have been my longest running, most consistent thoughts and feelings.

 

[freedompass]

It all started in earnest relatively late in life, around 48. It coincided with my son starting to show signs of mental distress. It's been 12 years now. I'm a bore, ranting about our situation to whoever will listen, and frequently just to an empty room. Perhaps I could have handled my own shit but I can't forgive myself for handing it to another generation. The taboo nature of the feelings I have makes it way worse because of the constant sense of judgment. Fuck my life.

 

[Life interrupted]

Since July last year. I don't want to live another year of extreme physical and emotional pain