How I’m planning to go.

[Lily (Osako)]

During my time making plans for my bus trip, trying to obtain products I'll need for my trip, I've decided to do something kind of silly to help me along this planning journey.
I've decided I want to look and feel as good as I possibly can when I go.
So I've ordered really beautiful and comfortable pajamas, stuff to do my nails, silk pillow cases, going to get my hair done, and going to the spa to make sure I not only feel relaxed, but that my skin looks good and feels soft.
It all seems like a waste, but I really want to feel good about leaving.
I want to go out the best I can.
Is anyone else making plans? What are they?

 

[Sick of it all]

There are so many options that I have yet to decide. It is a tough choice because I want to CTB the best I can. I like your idea of pampering yourself before hand. I may take a page from your book and treat myself well for the last time before I take my trip.

 

[Foresight]

Me too! I've never seen it mentioned before but I wish the same. I want to feel beautiful when I die. I won't be beautiful but I want to feel beautiful. I want to put up pretty lights and have the nicest feeling outfit and blankets. I want my death day to be a nice celebration of the passing of my sorrow.

 

[Finding Sirius]

Still thinking things over, but I will be doing SN provided I don't die before I can use it. It would be good for you and your family would have a lasting memory of you looking and feeling your best. Plus you can indulge in some self care before your journey.

Peace to you.

 

[rationaltake]

I feel inspired to get some nice pyjamas ready now.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

There are some days I just don't care. I can't care about anything. I just want to go. But then there are days when I want to make it as beautiful as possible.
Maybe I'm romanticizing it. I have everything pictured in my head. I'm sure it won't look anything like I envision, but as long as I feel beautiful and think my surroundings are beautiful, I believe that my last moments won't be so terrible.
The other day I didn't even care about doing anything special or one last epic experience or even eating a special last meal, but the closer I get to having everything in order the more I realize I do want it to be special. I do care.

 

[Obliviate]

As funny and pointless as it sounds, I was thinking of doing my makeup all nice so when they find me I'd at least look kinda cute and then I was like.....I'm gonna be dead though LOL

 

[Lily (Osako)]

As funny and pointless as it sounds, I was thinking of doing my makeup all nice so when they find me I'd at least look kinda cute and then I was like.....I'm gonna be dead though LOL

I'm planning on doing the same thing!
I'm going to take my time getting ready as though I'm going out on a date to some fancy restaurant or something. Why not? May as well feel as good about yourself as possible. It's the last thing we are going to do. May as well make it pretty.
That sounds so weird. I'm so weird.

 

[Obliviate]

But it's also insane and sad to think how privileged we are to even do that. My heart goes out to people living in extreme poverty and homelessness who CTB with a knife or painful methods because they have no choice and are so desperate and we're over here thinking about how pretty to look. We're privileged enough to even have an account on this website. In a way I'm grateful but my heart aches for those that are not safe.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

But it's also insane and sad to think how privileged we are to even do that. My heart goes out to people living in extreme poverty and homelessness who CTB with a knife or painful methods because they have no choice and are so desperate and we're over here thinking about how pretty to look. We're privileged enough to even have an account on this website. In a way I'm grateful but my heart aches for those that are not safe.

I absolutely agree.
Im grateful to be able to even consider it.
I know where I am in life and I feel like this is one thing I can give to myself to make me feel better about a life lived with extreme physical, mental, and emotional pain.
Having to live through things that most people couldn't.
I grew up on the streets, so I understand how they feel. I felt that way, too.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

Blue shirt and jeans so it matches my SN'ed skin color, with "I'm blue da ba dee" by Eiffel69 playing on loop on phone nearby

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really have any plans for ctb at the moment, it's just so unfair how ctb has to be so difficult for many of us. In an ideal world I would choose N as that sounds like the most peaceful method but of course if that was easily accessible then there would be no forum and no endless method discussions.

The thing that holds me back from attempting as I have said many times is the fear of failing ctb and limited access to methods in general. I think that for many people making ctb plans can be difficult as the SI can get in the way as after all life is unpredictable and uncertain but I know that if I had a peaceful and reliable way to exit then I would have no problem going through with ctb.