How good are you at masking autism? And is it worth it?

[noname223]

I am reading more and more about masking. And it would explain why social interactions drain my energy so fast.

I think some people notice I am neurodiverse. I think though my autistic quirks are not the worst out of the worst. Many people complimented me I was deep and had witty humor.
I also like my special interest politics. It is better than trains for example. I have a very autistic friend who likes to imitate other people and dialects. And personally I think that's sometimes cringe. It is not my type of humor. He is also not aware of it all. I feel bad for writing this because he is very friendly to me. But I am glad I am not that much autistic. He can work though in contrast to me. But I also have more mental illnesses. He is quite happy with his life He has way way more money than me.

I think when I am with my friends I am not masking at all. Many of my friends are neurodiverse. But in college it was hell.

I think I improved in masking a lot. I trained to be more social. 2018 I was at rock bottom because of my psychosis. However, I think the masking rather improved my mental health.
In college though I am not sure. I studied politics and well I was in my element. It was an advantage because I could learn the things easier.

Currently I have way less social contacts and I feel way better. I also don't have duties. I think when I was in college I was forced to mask my quirks. I am overanalyzing situations way too much.

I could imagine posting thread in this forum is also some sort of quirk. Lol. And I am not the only autistic person with this quirk.

I don't want to forget my skills how to mask my autism. But I want to reduce the time i have to maks. Except for dating.

The first woman I dated in my life told me I talked too much about politics. But I was in an hypomanic episode. No other women ever complained about that again. I even asked them about it.

 

[blackpillhopeless]

Not very good. A neurotypical person can tell straight away that there's something wrong with me (even if they don't know what autism is), and an autistic person who knows they are autistic can also tell. The only people I was fooling was myself and other people on the spectrum who were unaware that they were.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Namelesa]

I don't at all try to mask at all really. I just let my autisticness control me, especially with stimming. I don't at all care if at the rare point a person makes fun of these traits, these people don't deserve whatever way I could benefit them anyways if they can't accept a core aspect of how I function. It would be very hard for me to mask anyways so not at all worth it.

 

[BlueLock]

I think it depends. Also that quirk with your friends sounds like a typical trait some autists have, my brother used to do that a lot but stopped as he aged and some people questioned him about it. Masking for me drains my energy however it's worth it to just get by in interactions. I do wish I could just be myself but eh I have people I can drop the act around. Over analyzing situations and hypervigilance seems to be a common experience for people with high functioning autism.

 

[Paizen]

I don't know. I've faked my way through like by pretending to be neurotypical, even commenting sympathetically about neurodivergent folk as if I'm not 100% one of them, just to make myself look normal. It's like being in the autistic closet.

I enjoyed some of my life but I really just want to be a baby for the rest of my life and have someone to take care of me. This is not normal for a 29-year-old man. I just can't cut it as an adult. My parents think I'm lying. Most other people ask me if I'm autistic only an hour or two after meeting me.

 

[jbdCkFqV]

One benefit of working from home is that I have to mask way less. It's been a huge relief and one less thing to worry about—I didn't realize how much effort I put into masking. Unfortunately, I have also forgotten how to mask like I once did, so when I need those skills it's extra painful now.

 

[Sadbanana]

I'm an asperger. There were times learning social skills was my highest priority. It didn't really work. I've made some progress, but it was still volatile and I had slip ups from time to time.

I couldn't try too hard, because then my anxiety was blocking me from saying anything. But I couldn't relax too much too, otherwise I would say something stupid. It was kind of no win scenario, the balance was extremely hard to find and easy to break.

There were times I was able to find the right balance. But I got drained quickly and then it all felt apart again.

Right now I'm not really leaving my room and I gave up all attempts to have a normal life. It's just not worthed all that effort.