What you'd be looking for is a benzodiazepine ('benzo') rather than Valium specifically. I say this mainly because, of the "big four" benzos -- Valium, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin -- Valium seems to be the least-commonly mentioned among the four, as far as what I've personally gleaned over many years among anxiety sufferers (the inference being that maybe it's the one that doctors are least likely to prescribe?).
Also: Asking for a specific benzo may lead to a doctor assuming a lack of knowledge on the part of the patient, which you definitely don't want if you're walking into a doctor's office asking for a benzo. If you ask for a specific one, be prepared to clarify why you want that one specifically as opposed to the others.
You could cite your experience in the ER, but realistically, you probably would have had at least a similar response with any other one administered at the time. A couple valid points in its favour would be that it demonstrated an already-established beneficial response without adverse effects, and that maybe you'd be more comfortable with an already-proven option rather than something new to you.
I have been through so many psych meds since I was a kid, and I was thinking I could tell my psych about my experience and how it helped not only my emotional issues, but my physical muscle issues as well. Do you think they'd maybe let me go on the pill form?
If you have an already-established patient-doctor relationship with a psychiatrist, and assuming you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder already on your file, the best way to get a benzo will be to have the doctor volunteer it. This is the difference between
"Can I get a benzo?" and
"I think a benzo would help me, and this is why. What do you think?"
Be honest about your intentions, demonstrate a knowledge and respect for the limitations and risks, detail your symptoms, tell them how/why other coping mechanisms are falling short and how/when you'd use an as-needed benzo, and hear and acknowledge the doctor's feedback.
I know it'll he different from IV but even if it has a little of that affect, it could actually make me less suicidal.
Benzos won't provide long-term relief from suicidality. They'll relieve acute anxiety symptoms (but not necessarily emotional pain), but this is only temporary and is unsustainable because tolerance builds up quickly and weakens its beneficial effects, soon negating those effects altogether.
If you're looking for a daily prescription, I can't really speak much to that. Rare is a doctor who will readily issue a daily prescription. And personally I think it's ill-advised except
maybe in cases of persistent extreme anxiety that doesn't abate with other medications and despite years of different therapies.
Most likely, the prescription would be on an as-needed basis. But a doctor might also volunteer a time-limited 10-day or 14-day or 28-day daily or twice-daily prescription. Based on what you're saying here, I'm thinking a long-term as-needed prescription will be the better option rather than a time-limited daily.
This can be a delicate subject, so I want to add: The risks of long-term benzo usage are
very serious. For purposes of an appointment like this and for your own well-being, research this thoroughly and familiarize yourself with what you would be getting into. Tolerance, dependency, addiction, and withdrawal are factors to consider, depending on length and frequency of use. Medical opinions are varied on benzos. The most conservative advice about benzos that I've ever read from a doctor is "no more than one dose every 6-7 weeks". Personally, I use "no more than 2-3 times per month" as a baseline as far as my own frequency, and it seems I've avoided tolerance buildup by doing this.
*I am not a medical professional, and I have no formal education in medicine. All of the above is "to the best of my knowledge" as a layman.
Wishing you well and good luck.
