how does it always come back to this?

[redrumang3l]

hi! i was a member a couple years ago now, at my lowest. i forgot the password but im back here now. and on every other forum that i was then. but how does it always come back to feeling like this?

before, it felt like i had an excuse. a lot of bad things have happened throughout my life but i moved on. i got a job, i did everything i was supposed to to make me happy again and it always comes back to feeling like this. drinking and smoking etc, they help. but like my prescribed meds, they wont forever. it feels like ctb might be the only way, if not now then soon.

be honest with me, does it ever really end?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, the suffering will only end when I die. Things will always be very hopeless for me. I have never wanted to live and I never will. I'm sorry that you are going through this, I can imagine it must be dreadful for you to feel worse again. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Treeline589]

No, it never ends, it just gets worse