How does imagining yourself ctbing make you feel ? How do you imagine your ctb? Where do you imagine?

[Parnate]

I imagine myself ctbing in a nearby forest. I have been there before and being there gives me relief and sense of peace . Also because of the constant rains it is still green.
I imagine going there with SN ,put my earphones and play my favourite songs. I mix SN with water. Just gulp it down . Then lie down on the forest land looking at the skies, happy that all the suffering is going to end. That hopefully I ll have reincarnation as someone I want to be. In a better body, better circumstances, better life.
Then slowly I feel the shortness of breath. I feel the headache. I then close my eyes and chant a mantra , try to meditate to distract from the pain or whatever effects that SN has on body. And later I drift to sleep. The end.

 

[purpp37]

There's a forest park next to where I'm currently living with my family. Dying alone in my room would be depressing. My 20th birthday will be something I'll never forget being on that hill with KCones and cuddling each other peaking off acid after shooting up together. She said it felt like the ending credits of the movie and now that I think about it more I feel like my life would come to an amazing end surrounded by nature after injecting a cocktail and taking a final shot of heroin and laying there and being in bliss before slipping into the void. The painkillers will kill my pain and I'll die in peace while also feeling it. At least until I pass out hahaha. Nature is the best place for the departure. You become one with the earth before you enter it. Thinking about it puts a smile on my face.

 

[woodlandcreature]

It makes me feel nothing. I've imagined ctb in the woods, but that's not realistic where I am. It'll probably just be in my bedroom back "home" or my dorm room (i don't have roommates). Depends on where I anm when I get everything. Anticlimactic and dull. Just how I deserve.

 

[Dark Moon]

I imagine myself in a garden/forest/beach and dying under the moon at night, it's just me on my own, peaceful and ends my pain/suffering.

 

[ocdrowsy]

It usually makes me feel really emotional and makes me feel something when most of the time I feel completely nothing. Ironically it makes me feel alive and like a normal human being. I wanna be close to home cause it's the only place I feel like I belong, looking at the sky where the sun is setting and moon is rising, but with a more blue hue in the sky rather than orange.

 

[chudeatte]

I imagine either jumping from a height or in front of a train. mainly because theyre options available to me where I can just say fuck it and send it and I dont want any room to regret. I imagine id feel nervous for either. but if im sitting there at sunrise listening to my favourite music and imagining how little my death would matter, or how many years of suffering are in front of me, I think I could gather my courage eventually. sometimes thinking about it stresses me out greatly, but sometimes I just think how easy I could do it and put myself out of my misery

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

i imagine killing myself as me winning the ultimate victory of all time in my secret location

 

[itsgone2]

Ideally? In bed, just not wake up. Realistically? I fear growing old. Being stuck here. If I get the guts it will be in my home.

 

[failedmind]

Honestly, makes me sad. Im sad for my family. It will destroy them. But then it also makes me feel relieved, knowing i'll never have to be here again, no pain, no worry, no more suffering. I imagine myself taking SN then laying in the bed and dying. I don't like thinking about the sensations I might feel or the throwing up, I just like focusing on knowing once that subsides, I'll be free from this hell

 

[dead dav]

Feels like the ultimate goal we're I can find eternal peace imagining my dead body hanging there quiet and peaceful calms me down

 

[FuneralCry]

It's the only relief for me as in this existence so torturous and futile non-existence is just all I see as positive and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer no matter what, all I want is peace from the dreadful, torturous mistake of existence that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering, I just wish for the peace of being permanently unconscious with all gone and forgotten, for me non-existence is just all that's desirable and I'd prefer to peacefully cease existing than suffer, I always find it so painful and dreadful to suffer in this existence just waiting to not exist anyway.

 

[Macedonian1987]

My desire is to ctb by using the SN method and to be comforted by a woman who is compassionate, kind and has a caring personality (her age is not important) in my last dying moments. Something similar like in this euthanasia video.
https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/suicide/post/23496/michle-causse-assisted-suicide-scene-from

Since this is very unlikely to happen. I will most likely do it early in the morning 4-5 A.M, during summertime by an abandoned riverside outside the city I live in.

 

[kmao2004]

I see myself on a park bench after SN to avoid my house. Realistically I don't know if that will work because of some hero out there.

 

[Irisse]

I imagine myself ctbing in a nearby forest. I have been there before and being there gives me relief and sense of peace . Also because of the constant rains it is still green.
I imagine going there with SN ,put my earphones and play my favourite songs. I mix SN with water. Just gulp it down . Then lie down on the forest land looking at the skies, happy that all the suffering is going to end. That hopefully I ll have reincarnation as someone I want to be. In a better body, better circumstances, better life.
Then slowly I feel the shortness of breath. I feel the headache. I then close my eyes and chant a mantra , try to meditate to distract from the pain or whatever effects that SN has on body. And later I drift to sleep. The end.

We have the same fantasy, though realistically I doubt that I would be in a forest, as there are no forests close to where I currently live. Also I am afraid of insects. But imagining my ctb makes me happy, and it makes me feel at peace. I want to feel like I'm ending it, I want to feel the happiness of it all being over.

 

[instormdrains]

I feel a variety of things whenever I think about it. Sometimes I feel really elated and euphoric but other times its an intense guilt and sadness. It really depends how deep I am into a depressive episode. After a suicide attempt walking back home thinking about it feels horribly shameful