Discussion how do your partners deal with depression / ctb?

[alexlondon365]

i wonder how it is for other people... my partner tries to help as much as possible but in the end he can't grasp what's driven me to the state i'm in and also can't relate to how i'm truly feeling. but i guess only people that go through this mess can really relate. is there any way to make them understand at least a little bit more?

 

[stoicseal]

When you find out, let me know. I've considered just breaking up with my partner because I don't think it's even fair to put this burden on him. But I'm sure there are people out there who are willing to understand.

 

[Glowarm]

I too do not know how to make them understand.
I tried with mine but in the end we settled with that I just would not share that part of my life with them. When she knows I'm struggling a lot she'll keep her distance and leave me alone. This way she doesn't have to struggle with trying to understand and I don't struggle with not knowing how to explain.

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't know, I've never had any luck. I don't even care about understanding, there really is no such thing. The thing is empathy, and not being a dick about it…

That said, I do understand how annoying as fuck mental health issues can be, and that very few want to sign up for that sort of thing..

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

Nobody in my family has a clue about how far down the rabbit hole I am. Hell, most of my family wouldn't say that I'm depressed at all. I learned a long time ago to not be real with people. I put on the happy face and pretend all is just fine.

 

[its-about-time]

No partner these days but my last one was very understanding and caring and all the good things, really tried to help, but also incredibly overwhelmed by me and my relentless negative depressing bullshit. I have a real talent of driving people away with it. It's fun to watch myself repeat it over and over and over with seemingly no ability to stop.

 

[come to dust]

I've always been single so not sure. I think if I had a partner though I'd try to delay CTB so I can have experience being with someone before death.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't have a partner. I am closest to my Dad but his responses vary. I have never told him that I want to ctb but it's hard to hide depression when I am really down because we talk at length twice a week.

Sometimes, he is very sympathetic but other times I get the line: 'People will only want to hear that for so long and then they will become fed up with you.' Not really sure which 'people' he means- I have very few friends/family around me.

He then usually says that doesn't include him because he is my Dad but really I know it kind of does. I think he gets bored and impatient with it. Not always from a selfish point of view- I think he genuinely wants to help people and it frustrates him when he can't.

Other times, I think he feels sympathy and guilt (For giving me life to begin with maybe and some of the step family problems in childhood). I don't want him to feel that though because there's nothing he can really do to help so I guess I try to spare him from the worst of it.

Trouble is- either being pushed away by people, covering up what we really feel or distancing ourselves, that only makes us all the more isolated.

 

[alexlondon365]

Nobody in my family has a clue about how far down the rabbit hole I am. Hell, most of my family wouldn't say that I'm depressed at all. I learned a long time ago to not be real with people. I put on the happy face and pretend all is just fine.

ok i can see why you do that, but where do you take all this energy from to keep up a facade when you're hurting inside?

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

ok i can see why you do that, but where do you take all this energy from to keep up a facade when you're hurting inside?

Honestly, I'm not really sure. I've been doing it for so long that it just seems a part of me. Periodically, I do break down and cry when I'm alone in the house or quietly in the shower.

ETA: Most of the time, I really enjoy the work that I do, as it often challenges my mind. Maybe I get my internal energy from the self-satisfaction that I feel from my job.