Help How do you stay present? (Dissociation)

[NodusTollens]

I'm having trouble "being" when I'm around people. Lately I dissociate so often than people are starting to notice something's up. No mental stimulation &I start to recede.

Any suggestions?

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I carry a small bean plushie with me as an anti-stress and play with it when it gets too bad, helps a lot with staying mentally present.

 

[sadworld]

I carry a small bean plushie with me as an anti-stress and play with it when it gets too bad, helps a lot with staying mentally present.

That's so cute!! I should also try that.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I'd suggest one of these, i dont remember the brand but they're easily found on ebay for nyot too expensive uwu they easily fit in your pocket uwu

 

[botanormal]

One strategy I can think of is to try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It's a good grounding technique to stimulate some of your senses, and hopefully bring you back a bit. The bean plushie as said above is also a really helpful idea

 

[NodusTollens]

I carry a small bean plushie with me as an anti-stress and play with it when it gets too bad, helps a lot with staying mentally present.

That's a great idea, thank you.

One strategy I can think of is to try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It's a good grounding technique to stimulate some of your senses, and hopefully bring you back a bit. The bean plushie as said above is also a really helpful idea

Thank you. :) I've tried 54321 before it doesn't always work for me, I find I have to couple it with something else (ice, deep breaths), but I'll keep it in mind. Never hurts to have options, especially if I'm not in an environment where I can carry a plushie.

 

[BRAINWORMS]

Hi OP! I was just struggling with some strong depersonalization/derealization earlier today. Eating something (difficult to do when I'm so anxious I feel out of my skin) and working on a puzzle kind of helped. Not feeling perfectly normal yet, but still better. In the past, playing games on my phone like Tetris and Bejeweled while chatting with the people around me was helpful. Playing a puzzle game on your phone while socializing might be helpful for you, especially since you mention a lack of stimulation. If using a phone feels weird, maybe try a fidget cube.

 

[Cant Maintain]

The 54321 thing helps with anxiety sometimes for me, but usually something to rub or a coin I can scrape the grooves of with my fingernail, fidget spinner if small and weighted enough to manipulate fingers and spin it in your pocket manually are pretty decent.

 

[Kruger]

I'm having trouble "being" when I'm around people. Lately I dissociate so often than people are starting to notice something's up. No mental stimulation &I start to recede.

Any suggestions?

Stop and pause a minute. Remind yourself of the date, the day of the week, and where you are (eg your house, the street, whatever)

 

[NodusTollens]

Hi OP! I was just struggling with some strong depersonalization/derealization earlier today. Eating something (difficult to do when I'm so anxious I feel out of my skin) and working on a puzzle kind of helped. Not feeling perfectly normal yet, but still better. In the past, playing games on my phone like Tetris and Bejeweled while chatting with the people around me was helpful. Playing a puzzle game on your phone while socializing might be helpful for you, especially since you mention a lack of stimulation. If using a phone feels weird, maybe try a fidget cube.

Thank you, I really like that idea. I already do that absentmindedly while watch TV, so hopefully that would make it easier to interstate during a stressful situation.

The 54321 thing helps with anxiety sometimes for me, but usually something to rub or a coin I can scrape the grooves of with my fingernail, fidget spinner if small and weighted enough to manipulate fingers and spin it in your pocket manually are pretty decent.

Thank you, I like the penny idea- it sounds discreet.

 

[yetme]

I'm having trouble "being" when I'm around people. Lately I dissociate so often than people are starting to notice something's up. No mental stimulation &I start to recede.

Any suggestions?

Glycine helps with that. You can get it OTC in any sport nutrition store

 

[NodusTollens]

Glycine helps with that. You can get it OTC in any sport nutrition store

Okay, thanks for the suggestion. I can't say I've heard of this, I'll have to look into it.

 

[NodusTollens]

Stop and pause a minute. Remind yourself of the date, the day of the week, and where you are (eg your house, the street, whatever)

Thanks for your suggestion

 

[shay23]

Running cold water over my wrists helps me, not sure the logic of it but a friend recommended it and it worked.

 

[http-410]

I'm always dissociated but I do this nevertheless:

- carry a tiny little spiky ball (not a soft one) in my jacket pocket to fiddle with it with my hands when I'm around people
- snapping a rubber band against your wrist (wouldn't recommend if you tend to self harm)
- chewing on a chili pepper
- smelling ammonia inhalants or something nice. I used to carry a piece of cinnamon soap with me and smelled it before my therapy sessions.

 

[degeneratewaste]

+1 to the person who suggested carrying a small plushie or something in your pocket. I have struggled for years with dissociation and I am a chronic fiddler to try and ground myself. anything you can find that you could put discreetly in your pocket to mess with can help, I remember one of my old counsellors gave me a beanbag and that helped for a while. unfortunately I lost it sometime.

 

[wordsonscreen]

Yeah, I'm not here either. My friends keep having to repeat things and the words they say sound so empty. Snacking helps me "be". Chocolate. Any sensory object also helps.

 

[NodusTollens]

Yeah, I'm not here either. My friends keep having to repeat things and the words they say sound so empty. Snacking helps me "be". Chocolate. Any sensory object also helps.

It's frustrating, isn't it? HUGS. It's like living every moment in an instant replay.

If you don't mind answering, what kind of sensory things help you & how do you they help you?

 

[WornOutLife]

This used to happen to me lots last year and I ended up becoming a NEET who didn't talk to anybody!
Now, I talk to more people but find it hard to be focused all the time in a conversation. My mind is just never stopping! I can't even sleep properly lol

 

[wordsonscreen]

It's frustrating, isn't it? HUGS. It's like living every moment in an instant replay.

If you don't mind answering, what kind of sensory things help you & how do you they help you?

Wow yeah. I do feel like I am on replay haha

I made glitter jars with my therapist, they help. Squishy toys. People on the spectrum do this thing called stimming? I think- look into it. There are sensory toy kits one can buy. Clay helps. Any textured thing. Ice, stones, mint- basically anything that brings me to my senses helps. Counting 5 blue things. Smelling something- applying scented things.

 

[NodusTollens]

This used to happen to me lots last year and I ended up becoming a NEET who didn't talk to anybody!
Now, I talk to more people but find it hard to be focused all the time in a conversation. My mind is just never stopping! I can't even sleep properly lol

It's pervasive. Hiding behind our conscious thoughts waiting for an opening. Here's hoping you can find a way to keep it in check, I wouldn't like to see it affect your recovery.

Ugh, don't get me started on sleep issues, ahaha.

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@sunbug, Thank you, those are some great suggestions!

I've made glittery "snow" globes before, they really helped: water, glitter glue & a jar- super simple. Food colouring if you want colour.