how do you make yourself do it?

[Install-Gentoo]

I've missed deadlines before. I have a good opportunity in a week or two and my brain wants all day every day kill myself. But its hard to make my body do it. I have everything i need. I just need a decent plan of how to pull it all off, and I need the courage to do so.

 

[[HNO]]

i would consider to totally cut off internet usage, smoking, driking or any copes you use to kill time. in turn it causes withdrawal symptom or pangs of psychological addiction, i read that all addictions are the same in essence because there's only one reward system in the brain and rewarding mechanisms are same indepedenlty from addiction type. so for certain you will feel fucked after several days without internet for example, and it may give energy and courage to accomplish your goal
also in times i didn't engaged in distracting activities(offline), this times induce sad thoughts or reflections

 

[Install-Gentoo]

i would consider to totally cut off internet usage, smoking, driking or any copes you use to kill time. in turn it causes withdrawal symptom or pangs of psychological addiction, i read that all addictions are the same in essence because there's only one reward system in the brain and rewarding mechanisms are same indepedenlty from addiction type. so for certain you will feel fucked after several days without internet for example, and it may give energy and courage to accomplish your goal

alternatively I could use many things on the internet to cause intense hatred and wanting to kill myself, essentially causing an impulsiveness.
maybe lots of alcohol too?

 

[[HNO]]

alternatively I could use many things on the internet to cause intense hatred and wanting to kill myself, essentially causing an impulsiveness.
maybe lots of alcohol too?

ye. it's possible too but you need to have strong opinions towards objects you stumble upon. i'm apolitical so it won't work to me. but anyway there's enough places to doomscroll. another way is excessive porn consumption (unironically), as there's a lot of degenerate genres and subgenres driving you to desire to off yourself(NTR, as example) out of insignificance or abhorrence. for alcohol it works for someone and doesn't work another, i still remained meek and passive after half of vodka bottle just got bad coordination and analysis supression illict drugs are more suitable for this as opiates can make you high enough to supress SI and they in nature strong painkillers and stimulants mask fear and give plenty of energy to ctb

 

[ojinzo]

Honestly, I think when one is ready they will be ready, plan or no plan. Figuring out the perfect plan is what currently tethers me to life. A perfect plan that, unfortunately, I doubt will ever come. Hence, I must continue to walk day to day menacingly lamenting my lack of courage, which I do believe is one of two ingredients. The other being will. Right now I find myself being shuttled on the auto to a job I hate only to return to a home I hate more. I lack the courage to simply jump or drown or stab myself. I lack the means to anything painless. Trapped in my own personal hell.

I've missed deadlines before. I have a good opportunity in a week or two and my brain wants all day every day kill myself. But its hard to make my body do it. I have everything i need. I just need a decent plan of how to pull it all off, and I need the courage to do so.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that for me, what would make me finally go through with ctb is having a method plan that I feel confident with. If I had a reliable and peaceful way to exit I would have no problems in going through with ctb. I do think that you cannot force yourself to ctb, only you know when you are ready, I believe that it's a feeling the person has that they know it's time to go. I think that many people go through with it when they get completely desperate and all that they want is to escape from this life, as of course suicide can be difficult because of the SI.

 

[Hope:-)]

Desperation.