How do you know if you’re actually ready to die and not just desperate?

[Circles]

Cause I'm having a hard time understanding if there's even a difference. I'm desperate as hell but I want my decision to be almost 100% for sure and be ready. I want to be without doubt.

 

[ixkitty]

Okay. So I'm going to use myself as an example, and hope I make sense. When I'm having a bad day, like a deep depression had day, I'm desperate to die. I'm scrambling for the things that would just make the pain stop. My mind doesn't care as much with how, than how long.. I see that as me being desperate to die.

Now, after that desperation wanes and fades away to where I can think logically about exactly how, when, where, what method.. that pulls me from desperation to decision, or being ready to die. Even when things are doing... okay, it's still in my mind. I do eventually want to die..

Hope it helps !♡

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

For me it has something to do with inner peace. Those moments when I get these feelings of extreme inner peace and relief at the idea of leaving this crazy world and ending my existence are the moments I would be ready to die. So far they are too short though, for me to feel confident about it.
If I am desperate on the other hand I am in pain and extreme inner turmoil and catching the bus would be like an emergency switch to end it all.

I hope I can kill myself out of the first mindset. But I think true desperation can also lead to successful suicides. And in the end that's the only thing that matters to me. That it is successful.

I hope you can find your answer.
I do want to add though that I think that it is very difficult to be 100 % sure and without doubt about something, especially about something as big as killing oneself. And even if one is, I fear that our survival instinct is quite powerful and has the potential to affect that mindset rather strongly in our final moments. I think that is something important to keep in mind.

Hugs,​

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I'm not ready to die - I don't want to die. But the only other option I have is living a pathetic, pain-riddled existence, tortured by the ambitions I had, that are no longer possible. With my elderly parents financially supporting me, once my savings run out, until they die - then what?! I simply refuse to be this pathetic.

 

[Lost Magic]

I have been holding out for the best method and since I got N, I know that my time is really short. Now, I don't know how long that liquid stuff will last but when those bottles are open, it's game over for me. Although, I've been very emotional lately. I cry often when I think about little things and deep down I do wish things could have been better. Then again maybe I would have still felt this way no matter what happened in the past. Maybe I am desperate but I died a long time ago anyway. My body is the only thing tethered to this earth, but even that will be no more soon. I just want to sleep.

 

[marinekiwi]

I think it's more down to a constant feeling of 'nothing matters anymore'. Obviously, everyone has some pretty low point at some moment in their lives. Most of the time that's life being your usual shitty roller coaster.
It's when you hit rock bottom and keep that way for many months or years -the burden of depression- what I'd actually call a 'ready to die' status.
It's never wise to CTB on impulse. What makes you sad today may not be there tomorrow.

 

[Lost Magic]

I think it's more down to a constant feeling of 'nothing matters anymore'. Obviously, everyone has some pretty low point at some moment in their lives. Most of the time that's life being your usual shitty roller coaster.
It's when you hit rock bottom and keep that way for many months or years -the burden of depression- what I'd actually call a 'ready to die' status.
It's never wise to CTB on impulse. What makes you sad today may not be there tomorrow.

that rock bottom depression (ready to die status) has been the way I have been feeling for years. Can't wait to go to sleep and never wake up.

 

[marinekiwi]

that rock bottom depression (ready to die status) has been the way I have been feeling for years. Can't wait to go to sleep and never wake up.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It really sucks when all hope is gone after all that time. We should all deserve a chance to heal and feel better, but as we know life can be a bottomless pit for some.
Yet you're still here, and that's something really brave of you. Mustering up the courage to go through another day is something not everyone can sustain. I pray that, someday soon, you will start to climb up that hole, and come out stronger than ever.

 

[hopelessgirl]

Cause I'm having a hard time understanding if there's even a difference. I'm desperate as hell but I want my decision to be almost 100% for sure and be ready. I want to be without doubt.

Good question. That's what I'm battling with every single day, and it's bloody hard to figure it out. Reading some of these comments gave me some pinpoints. So thank you for asking the question.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Seems like the two are the same. I, for one, see no future. No path forward. Ready to die? Not really. But no alternative in sight. Dug my grave.

 

[Chiisai]

Cause I'm having a hard time understanding if there's even a difference. I'm desperate as hell but I want my decision to be almost 100% for sure and be ready. I want to be without doubt.

Hmm I think deep inside we all wish there's that sliver of hope that things will turn out better and there will always be that even if lets say 99.9 percent you want to CTB, there's that 0.1 percent wishing a sliver of hope therefore the hesitation in pushing through is what causes desperation.

 

[LoneMisery]

I know we should never give up but chinese warriors qould rather kill themselves than to give their lives to their enemies. Learning that had a huge impact on my decision. Life isnt for everyone and the outside sources like instinct and friends will just through you into a whirlwind and guilt trip. When my dad ctb he had done things that would be a planned out bus catching. He was nice to my mom for the first time. He found a long lost uncle he made up with all his enemies. I plan on just going. I want to live out of state and away from people. Ill have no identification nor anyone around to identity me. Because the guilt is real and i cant keep living in this roller coaster

 

[Heartaches]

I know I'm not ready to die because I cannot accept my death.
Therefore, I'm just desperate in moments of complete distress and pain, because Death seems like the most peaceful and logical conclusion, but in the back of my mind I know it's still not my time and I'll just have to get through it, whether I like it or not.

I could possibly do it impulsively, but a part of me, in the back of my mind, would reason that it still isn't my time, so I would not follow.
I view it more as a self-harm mechanism nowadays more than an actual plan.
A plan requires some sort of planification, even the most bare bones one, as well as strong motivation and, debatable, some sort of closure to unresolved problems of the past so you can cut most strings that attach you to this life.

At least, that's how I view it, but I may be wrong in some parts.​

 

[Natty]

The most sobering moments for me are the ones where I feel as though I've given a genuine effort and there is a calm understanding that nothing will help with the pain.

I am having a massive problem with actually "pulling the trigger" so to speak. I have too many available creature comforts to make that an easy task.

Hopefully soon though.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that you know you are ready, when you are certain about your decision and you have no more doubts. It is just a feeling. In my case, I have never wanted to be alive and I find death to be comforting. I have known for such a long time, that suicide will be the way that I die, it just feels right for me, there is nothing here for me in this world.

 

[hopelessgirl]

The most sobering moments for me are the ones where I feel as though I've given a genuine effort and there is a calm understanding that nothing will help with the pain.

This

 

[Circles]

Just wanted to say Thanks to everyone's input in this thread. I think I found some closure in what I wanted. I feel absolutely ready and without doubt, but I realize that this is just momentarily. I wish I could hold on to this urge. It's so powerful to know you don't have to hold on or care so fucking badly anymore. When it's my time I know I'll be feeling this again.