How do you guys deal with anger?

[Firegirl]

I struggle with BPD and am currently in recovery. I tend to get these really intense bouts of rage and anger that often comes without warning and without a trigger

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with anger or ways to calm yourself down?

 

[hungry_ghost]

Sometimes I use binaural beats, or play games as a distraction.

Working out helps a bit, like lifting weights, or boxing (punching and kicking the self-defense mannequin).

Often I have to sit with my feelings and really reflect on what the fuck is causing it, though.

"Is it a memory? Something currently happening? Why does it bother me? Why am I allowing it to bother me?" Etc.

 

[CTB Dream]

Not sur thinking everybody different body mind, think maybe avoid trigger, eat drink helping calm possible also type activity game reduce anger careful not do gamble anything win lose situation mes brain reward mor anger causing

 

[Himalayan]

I don't feel anger and this fact worries me. My life is destroyed and at any moment i feel mad, i feel despair and i feel hopelessness. Only that

 

[Firegirl]

Sometimes I use binaural beats, or play games as a distraction.

Working out helps a bit, like lifting weights, or boxing (punching and kicking the self-defense mannequin).

Often I have to sit with my feelings and really reflect on what the fuck is causing it, though.

"Is it a memory? Something currently happening? Why does it bother me? Why am I allowing it to bother me?" Etc.

This is actually great advice thank you!

I don't feel anger and this fact worries me. My life is destroyed and at any moment i feel mad, i feel despair and i feel hopelessness. Only that

This must be terrible I'm so sorry :( , anger does usually stem from sadness though, i see it as sadness that needs destruction

Not sur thinking everybody different body mind, think maybe avoid trigger, eat drink helping calm possible also type activity game reduce anger careful not do gamble anything win lose situation mes brain reward mor anger causing

You're right thank you

 

[Susannah]

I struggle with BPD and am currently in recovery. I tend to get these really intense bouts of rage and anger that often comes without warning and without a trigger

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with anger or ways to calm yourself down?

Boxing is my medicine when I need to release heavy anger and frustration. It also makes me stronger, both physically and mentally.

When I'm really sad, and overwhelmed with responsabilities and frustration, I go in "tai chi- mode". I focus on breathing, and strech all parts of my body really really slow. Doing movements very slowly (i.e dance movements) is much more challenging than our normal rhythm in life.

Lots of loveS

 

[Hollowillow]

I struggle with BPD and am currently in recovery. I tend to get these really intense bouts of rage and anger that often comes without warning and without a trigger

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with anger or ways to calm yourself down?

Kicking abusive people out of my life.

Stabilizing my blood sugar by replacing grains with greens & meat

Taking vitamin B to prevent anemia. If I can't make my own blood I crave blood like a wolf.

Vitamin C & magnesium calms me down

Welcoming my inner wolf SI as my protector. I verify people's intention & observe. When I am sure that they do violence to me, I unleash the fury of a thousand suns. Even narcissists run.

I trained my inner wolf to not attack kind people. But being irrirable when hungry & tired is natural

Borderline is actually an adaptation to chronic trauma. Insulting my personality instead of the pedophile's was devastating to me. It ads more violenve to violence. The therapist demand to improve to please them instead to welcome our hurt emotions with compassion.

You have a damn good reason to be angry!

 

[Firegirl]

Boxing is my medicine when I need to release heavy anger and frustration. It also makes me stronger, both physically and mentally.

When I'm really sad, and overwhelmed with responsabilities and frustration, I go in "tai chi- mode". I focus on breathing, and strech all parts of my body really really slow. Doing movements very slowly (i.e dance movements) is much more challenging than our normal rhythm in life.

Lots of loveS

This is very helpful thank you! I've always wanted to get into boxing so maybe i will start that now :)

Kicking abusive people out of my life.

Stabilizing my blood sugar by replacing grains with greens & meat

Taking vitamin B to prevent anemia. If I can't make my own blood I crave blood like a wolf.

Vitamin C & magnesium calms me down

Welcoming my inner wolf SI as my protector. I verify people's intention & observe. When I am sure that they do violence to me, I unleash the fury of a thousand suns. Even narcissists run.

I trained my inner wolf to not attack kind people. But being irrirable when hungry & tired is natural

Borderline is actually an adaptation to chronic trauma. Insulting my personality instead of the pedophile's was devastating to me. It ads more violenve to violence. The therapist demand to improve to please them instead to welcome our hurt emotions with compassion.

You have a damn good reason to be angry!

This is absolutely amazing advice! Thank you! And thank you for the reassurance too because my bpd did start due to childhood sexual trauma etc, you're very right! We DO have a right to be angry!

 

[Rapière]

 

[SarRy]

I find that radical forgiveness and compassion can change a lot. Learning to understand others and not taking their actions as a threat or something personal.
As for the knee jerk reaction, trying to avoid situations that are triggering or trying to distance yourself from people when you feel that way might work.

 

[hamvil]

I struggle with BPD and am currently in recovery. I tend to get these really intense bouts of rage and anger that often comes without warning and without a trigger

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with anger or ways to calm yourself down?

I deal with anger in the same way you do, poorly probably. I snap without even realizing and create a mess. So far I managed not to get punched in public but I created all kind of legal problems. I hope you recovery fast it is really bad situation.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

At the moment I take benzos for that. Can we please talk by private message? I suspect that I also suffer from bpd so I would like to talk to someone that have been already diagnosed. Thank you so much

 

[lionetta12]

I struggle with BPD and am currently in recovery. I tend to get these really intense bouts of rage and anger that often comes without warning and without a trigger

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with anger or ways to calm yourself down?

The only thing I do when I'm angry is to cry, so I just cry it out alone in my apartment until I'm done crying.

 

[hamvil]

When I'm really sad, and overwhelmed with responsabilities and frustration, I go in "tai chi- mode". I focus on breathing, and strech all parts of my body really really slow. Doing movements very slowly (i.e dance movements) is much more challenging than our normal rhythm in life.

This is in principle a good advice. I am also more aware of situation that can potentially trigger angry reaction and I try to actively avoid them. Like getting into some discussions with people, talking too much about personal stuff, etc. The problem is that from time to time I get into situations without notice and snap.

 

[Susannah]

This is in principle a good advice. I am also more aware of situation that can potentially trigger angry reaction and I try to actively avoid them. Like getting into some discussions with people, talking too much about personal stuff, etc. The problem is that from time to time I get into situations without notice and snap.

I can relate. I'm like you. I like discussions, but with my journalistic background, I tend to always understand all sides of the "problem". It's actually quite exhausting.

Anger is a natural part of our emotional register. We get angry every now and then. It's "normal". I don't trust people who are always restrained and calm.

I am an emotional person and all my days are filled with joy, sadness, rage and a sense of meaninglessness. I would argue that meaninglessness is the most devastating feeling. That's when I have to enter the "tai chi world". To remind me of a meaning in myself and my inner self.
Lots of loveS

 

[hamvil]

I can relate. I'm like you. I like discussions, but with my journalistic background, I tend to always understand all sides of the "problem". It's actually quite exhausting.

People do not like that as far as I understood. Not really sure however. I see people around me taking strong position on everything while I am usually unsure because situations are so complex. People like simple answers to complex problem, better if in a single canned sentence. I am also bad with topics and tend to get stuck on them however, many people want to move on and not dig too much. Maybe I am a bit obsessive.

Anger is a natural part of our emotional register. We get angry every now and then. It's "normal". I don't trust people who are always restrained and calm.

My therapist told me the same. The issue is that I cannot control it. I snapped at a guy collecting signatures in the street because he patted me on the back to get my attention. Similar accidents happened with loved ones and friends. Now less and less however because I try not to put myself in dangerous situations.

I am an emotional person and all my days are filled with joy, sadness, rage and a sense of meaninglessness. I would argue that meaninglessness is the most devastating feeling. That's when I have to enter the "tai chi world". To remind me of a meaning in myself and my inner self.

It is two or more years that I feel meaninglessness. I lost my "mission" in the world and cannot really find a purpose. I do not know why I need this. I see people doing stupid jobs all the time and be happy. I ask myself how can you feel happy working at a grocery store, don't you want something more in your life? I switch from joy to sadness all the time. It is devastating.

Lots of loveS

You too.

 

[Firegirl]

The only thing I do when I'm angry is to cry, so I just cry it out alone in my apartment until I'm done crying.

This is a great thing to do actually! I do the same but i don't live alone so I can't really do it when I'm around people

I can relate. I'm like you. I like discussions, but with my journalistic background, I tend to always understand all sides of the "problem". It's actually quite exhausting.

Anger is a natural part of our emotional register. We get angry every now and then. It's "normal". I don't trust people who are always restrained and calm.

I am an emotional person and all my days are filled with joy, sadness, rage and a sense of meaninglessness. I would argue that meaninglessness is the most devastating feeling. That's when I have to enter the "tai chi world". To remind me of a meaning in myself and my inner self.
Lots of loveS

If you don't mind me asking, how does tai chi remind you of a meaning in yourself? What meaning exactly? I've been desperately searching for meaning in life but can't really find any

 

[Painless_end]

I hyperventilate in the shower or wherever I am and imagine myself screaming at the person who I hate

If it is a malicious person, I stay away though.

 

[freedompass]

I usually write it out somewhere. Depending on the degree of rage I will go to my therapist, a private journal, online mental health chats or an understanding friend. Now that I live semi reclusive it is easier to find healthy outlets and avoid most triggering situations.

 

[rainbowbright]

I remove myself from the situation or listen to music or hypnosis videos on YouTube.

When I was on citalopram my aggression was awful but I hardly ever get aggressive now I switched medications. I'm also BPD

 

[Susannah]

People do not like that as far as I understood. Not really sure however. I see people around me taking strong position on everything while I am usually unsure because situations are so complex. People like simple answers to complex problem, better if in a single canned sentence. I am also bad with topics and tend to get stuck on them however, many people want to move on and not dig too much. Maybe I am a bit obsessive.

My therapist told me the same. The issue is that I cannot control it. I snapped at a guy collecting signatures in the street because he patted me on the back to get my attention. Similar accidents happened with loved ones and friends. Now less and less however because I try not to put myself in dangerous situations.

It is two or more years that I feel meaninglessness. I lost my "mission" in the world and cannot really find a purpose. I do not know why I need this. I see people doing stupid jobs all the time and be happy. I ask myself how can you feel happy working at a grocery store, don't you want something more in your life? I switch from joy to sadness all the time. It is devastating.

You too.

You're probably an open

This is a great thing to do actually! I do the same but i don't live alone so I can't really do it when I'm around people

If you don't mind me asking, how does tai chi remind you of a meaning in yourself? What meaning exactly? I've been desperately searching for meaning in life but can't really find any

Tai chi (chuan, in my case. There are several

This is a great thing to do actually! I do the same but i don't live alone so I can't really do it when I'm around people

If you don't mind me asking, how does tai chi remind you of a meaning in yourself? What meaning exactly? I've been desperately searching for meaning in life but can't really find any

The meaning comes because of the difficulty level in tai chi. "Don't think too much all the time". "Stay focus".

Tai Chi (chuan) is extremely difficult to perform correctly. It's like a mix of dance and Yoga. I went to the tai chi chuan 19 form. Trained 1-2 h a week for 2y.

It requires you to have control over your breathing for at least 10 minutes. You decide the speed of your breathing, but a steady, calm breathing rhythm is the best. Then you must move your body according to the rhythm of your breathing, in flowing movements.
Tai chi chuan worked for me because I find static breathing exercises boring. However, I know that it is important to "breathe correctely.

Tai chi is based on ideological thinking. Tai chi courses are often free. You meet other people, on a neutral and open-minded basis.
You get solid strength training when you practice tai chi in a group. The warm-up is tough and you get sweaty. After warm- up, you will practice the steps in the "dance". The execution of the movements is more important than memorizing the dance.
After 1 tai chi class I became super focused. It was like coming out of a trance. I felt more balanced. Doing "normal" things became easier.

 

[spectraltease]

I struggle with BPD and am currently in recovery. I tend to get these really intense bouts of rage and anger that often comes without warning and without a trigger

Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with anger or ways to calm yourself down?

Same anger issues. I just let it go and sitting im my room alone and thinking. Im so full of this rage, fuck. I just wanna die and let it all out

 

[Susannah]

You're probably an open

Tai chi (chuan, in my case. There are several

The meaning comes because of the difficulty level in tai chi. "Don't think too much all the time". "Stay focus".

Tai Chi (chuan) is extremely difficult to perform correctly. It's like a mix of dance and Yoga. I went to the tai chi chuan 19 form. Trained 1-2 h a week for 2y.

It requires you to have control over your breathing for at least 10 minutes. You decide the speed of your breathing, but a steady, calm breathing rhythm is the best. Then you must move your body according to the rhythm of your breathing, in flowing movements.
Tai chi chuan worked for me because I find static breathing exercises boring. However, I know that it is important to "breathe correctely.

Tai chi is based on ideological thinking. Tai chi courses are often free. You meet other people, on a neutral and open-minded basis.
You get solid strength training when you practice tai chi in a group. The warm-up is tough and you get sweaty. After warm- up, you will practice the steps in the "dance". The execution of the movements is more important than memorizing the dance.
After 1 tai chi class I became super focused. It was like coming out of a trance. I felt more balanced. Doing "normal" things became easier.

Sorry the word mess- up.

 

[Celerity]

I don't have BPD, but I have struggled with anger all of my life.

For me, anger and anxiety are intertwined. If I take steps to reduce my anxiety levels, I can usually at least reduce the frequency of my anger episodes. This means getting plenty of sleep, avoiding triggering situations and people, and doing something very immersive like reading or playing fast-paced video games when I start ruminating.

I wish you the best of luck. It is way easier said than done. People without anger issues just don't understand in the same way that everyone thinks they know what depression is because they were really sad once.

 

[Елена]

I can't control my anger. I can't. The rage is so strong that I can't control it. It hurts me and my family. I'm a terrible person. I know that, and that's why I want to die. But so far I don't have the right circumstances for that. I am very irritable, very nervous, and I rarely manage to hide it. I understand that this anger has to do with my own insignificance. I'm just such a loser and I can't fix it. And even now I'm sitting here writing this, and I can't get over it. It makes me want to scream, beat the dishes, bang my fists on the wall. I hate everything and everyone.Instead I have to live and tolerate myself.And those around me.It's excruciating.It's just the rape of having to live.I can't stand it all.

 

[crowbait]

I have BPD as well. Venting angrily to someone in person helps somewhat, but honestly I've found that the only thing that completely gets rid of it is getting extremely high or drunk, taking a sleeping pill or melatonin and then sleeping for 10+ hours. I get high or drunk because while it doesn't necessarily make me happy, it makes my anger feel numb and far away, and empties my brain out so I can't worsen things with my angry thought cycles. I think "neutralize" is a good word. It also helps me sleep. Sleeping pill to make sure I stay asleep, and long enough for my anger to die down. I normally do 11-15 hours. For some reason this routine ends up dousing my rage episodes pretty well. Just in case I also make sure to tuck myself away from the world for a day or two after. I don't really interact with anybody or go outside or consume media that could anger me. I basically treat myself like a sickly child in isolation.

There's also probably a bunch of DBT exercises that are suited for this you can find online, so maybe take my "get high and hibernate like a toddler" advice with a grain of salt.

 

[Firegirl]

I don't have BPD, but I have struggled with anger all of my life.

For me, anger and anxiety are intertwined. If I take steps to reduce my anxiety levels, I can usually at least reduce the frequency of my anger episodes. This means getting plenty of sleep, avoiding triggering situations and people, and doing something very immersive like reading or playing fast-paced video games when I start ruminating.

I wish you the best of luck. It is way easier said than done. People without anger issues just don't understand in the same way that everyone thinks they know what depression is because they were really sad once.

This is actually very true! Anxiety and anger also go hand in hand for me, thank you for advice

 

[makethepainstop]

When I'm really angry I go into my bedroom, crank up my stereo, playing The Rolling Stones,"Under my Thumb", then I put a CD on my DVD player of WW II or Vietnam, with pictures of people getting killed, and lots of dead bodies, with the DVD players sound off. It does make me feel better, God forgive me but it does!

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

Fonk, listening to fonk helps me calm down. Well, that and destroying shit

 

[Lysander]

like a lot of others here i listen to loud music.. i also try not to do anything/as little as possible so i dont have anything to regret when i'm calm later