Discussion How do you feel emotions?

[chocone]

Genuine question. I only feel things physically, and usually I don't even notice i'm upset until I start crying or having some other physical reaction like nausea or wanting to smile (usually when I'm reading something). Do emotions feel like something other than the physical feeling? Am I supposed to be able to notice what "sadness" is by itself and unattached to my crying? Is it the same with all the other emotions? People describe it as welling up inside them but is that a physical sensation or something else? I don't get it. I don't feel sad but I want to die. I don't feel angry but I'm lashing out and going over ways to hurt people in my head. Isn't that strange?

I've lurked here for a little bit before making an account and I always notice people saying how upset and hopeless they feel. I know it'd probably be bad for me, but at some point I want to know what that feels like. I just want to know what it's supposed to be.

 

[ScaredCutter]

you can feel a build up inside from emotions, it happens when im angry, sad, jealous or happy. yk, a lump in ur throat because ur going to cry. i feel some heat when im angry and when im sad, its usually feels like my organs drop and i get cold sometimes. happiness makes me feel sorta warm but, i cant contain it, my eyes light up and i smile, sometimes it feels like my heart beats more too. its hard to explain how one feels their emotions since its different for all.

when people feel empty, hopeless they typically feel this empty vast inside of them, like their heart is missing or they have a hole inside of them. that, no matter what they try, the feeling stays and it can grow bigger, eventually consumes u. but thats just mostly in my experience and what ive been told by somebody. its a strong feeling though. im sure someone will describe it way better.

shucks, i tried seeing if there could be smth related to what ur talking about but, i have no idea if emotional blindess/alexithymia may be it. if it doesnt feel related to ur situation, i hope therell be an answer out there!

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Look up other people's experiences with the more severe end of the spectrum of depersonalization, I think that might be what you're looking for.

 

[FoxSauce]

Hmmm dont like em in myself since I feel so intensely, I wish didnt feel but it isnt good either.

 

[IWillSurvive]

Genuine question. I only feel things physically, and usually I don't even notice i'm upset until I start crying or having some other physical reaction like nausea or wanting to smile (usually when I'm reading something). Do emotions feel like something other than the physical feeling? Am I supposed to be able to notice what "sadness" is by itself and unattached to my crying? Is it the same with all the other emotions? People describe it as welling up inside them but is that a physical sensation or something else? I don't get it. I don't feel sad but I want to die. I don't feel angry but I'm lashing out and going over ways to hurt people in my head. Isn't that strange?

I've lurked here for a little bit before making an account and I always notice people saying how upset and hopeless they feel. I know it'd probably be bad for me, but at some point I want to know what that feels like. I just want to know what it's supposed to be.

I think I am in a similar situation. I also dont feel the "feeling" anymore, I just observe the physical reaction my body has to those "feelings". I did feel stuff in the past though, so I can tell you about it a bit if thats what you want. Do notice that this is my experience, so I cant promise its the same for everyone.

Sadness, the profund type, feels like if someone is pushing you like 10-15 kgs in yoir chest. A constant discomfort and pressure that just wells up until you break up and cry, where the pressure lowers a bit.

Anger makes you frenetic and tunnel visioned, illogical and thoughtless. Not a great state to be in, but it is a good way to avoid sadness, since its "less painful" and it only requires a change in perspective (at least to me).

Happiness is quite nice. I cant quite describe it accurately enough to make it justice. Its a similar pressure to sadness in the chest, but in this case its pleasant, and it kind of feels like it starts flowing into the rest of your body. I think this is the reason most people are addicted to life. I find it understandable but unnecessary.

My recomendation for trying these out would be going to a psychiatrist or someone similar, so that you may get some meds. I started 4 months ago and I have felt the happy feeling (the formerly described one, not the smile we both know) once in the 13th of december. It should be a good experience to try if you can, it didnt stop me from being suicidal, but it did make me want to experience it again.

 

[chocone]

you can feel a build up inside from emotions, it happens when im angry, sad, jealous or happy. yk, a lump in ur throat because ur going to cry. i feel some heat when im angry and when im sad, its usually feels like my organs drop and i get cold sometimes. happiness makes me feel sorta warm but, i cant contain it, my eyes light up and i smile, sometimes it feels like my heart beats more too. its hard to explain how one feels their emotions since its different for all.

when people feel empty, hopeless they typically feel this empty vast inside of them, like their heart is missing or they have a hole inside of them. that, no matter what they try, the feeling stays and it can grow bigger, eventually consumes u. but thats just mostly in my experience and what ive been told by somebody. its a strong feeling though. im sure someone will describe it way better.

shucks, i tried seeing if there could be smth related to what ur talking about but, i have no idea if emotional blindess/alexithymia may be it. if it doesnt feel related to ur situation, i hope therell be an answer out there!

I think even from when I was a kid, I felt like I was performing emotions more than feeling them. Especially the happy ones, I'd pitch up my voice and act really cheerful when I knew the situation called for it (like my friends were celebrating something), but I had no idea if i was actually feeling any good. Half the time i was able to do it even when i felt like absolute shit, so now there's basically no differentiation in my head between anything anymore. The sad ones are almost the opposite. I'm used to never performing them because I always had to hide them so now I don't know what they feel like at all until the tears hit and I'm like oh. I'm upset. It's weird when you mention emptiness because I don't think I even feel that. Or maybe I was consumed by it years ago and I just never noticed. also yeah i think alexithymia may play a big part in this, thanks for bringing that up lmao i really relate to it and i should look into it more lol

I think I am in a similar situation. I also dont feel the "feeling" anymore, I just observe the physical reaction my body has to those "feelings". I did feel stuff in the past though, so I can tell you about it a bit if thats what you want. Do notice that this is my experience, so I cant promise its the same for everyone.

Sadness, the profund type, feels like if someone is pushing you like 10-15 kgs in yoir chest. A constant discomfort and pressure that just wells up until you break up and cry, where the pressure lowers a bit.

Anger makes you frenetic and tunnel visioned, illogical and thoughtless. Not a great state to be in, but it is a good way to avoid sadness, since its "less painful" and it only requires a change in perspective (at least to me).

Happiness is quite nice. I cant quite describe it accurately enough to make it justice. Its a similar pressure to sadness in the chest, but in this case its pleasant, and it kind of feels like it starts flowing into the rest of your body. I think this is the reason most people are addicted to life. I find it understandable but unnecessary.

My recomendation for trying these out would be going to a psychiatrist or someone similar, so that you may get some meds. I started 4 months ago and I have felt the happy feeling (the formerly described one, not the smile we both know) once in the 13th of december. It should be a good experience to try if you can, it didnt stop me from being suicidal, but it did make me want to experience it again.

thank you for how detailed this is, it's super insightful. My feelings are more buried than that I think, even when I'm crying i feel like I barely have a reaction to sadness other than the tears. Anger is easier to place for me, a tightness in my chest, but I also experience it very rarely, so I'm not sure if that's accurate. Happiness for me comes in my reaction to things; the urge to jump around, move, and it brings energy back into my body which is almost never there. I get how people can get addicted to it, but especially when I'm feeling nothing it doesn't make sense to me how that momentary happiness can overshadow everything else. About psychiatry and meds, I did try them but the meds (zoloft and lexapro, not simultaneously) didn't really seem to do much for my mood and my psychiatrist is apparently complete shit (I told my psychologist student friend what she said to me and my friend was super mad at them lol) because why did she sound like she was goading me into suicide T-T but hopefully I'll be able to change to another one that's less shitty soon

 

[tasmaka]

Ive always been fairly "emotional" but the best way to put it logically is feeling distanced or close with whats around you, and whether or not that is positive.

Ex:
close,positive : positive interactions, sense of relationship
Close,negative: derealization, anxious/unwelcomed
Distanced,positive: proper sense of self, positive "independence"
Distanced,negative: sad, angry, or resentful, feel ignored

This is just how ive personally dumbed it down for myself since I just naturally tended to "overreact" at stuff (diagnosed with extreme anxiety and depression as a teen) and tended to over analyze situations.

Ive also felt moments where my desire to control it to be less just made me feel like a complete nothing like All i did was complete my tasks and sleep.

But now back to normal I tend to cry easily, get anxious alot, but the only way I actually became able to "feel" more than overbearing dread was to do things that I would like, or really wanted to do, like eat what I want, listen to whatever music, personalize my belongings to my desire, and somehow start to talk to people but that genuinely took like 5+ years so idk..

Sorry if this is unhelpful, dont mean to be self absorbed or such, I hope something was worth the read, ask me on anything I said Im glad to expand or re-explain,

Wish you the best!

 

[CuckoosInvisible]

I can only identify my emotions through my thoughts and behaviors. So, intellectually. For example, if I'm anxious or frustrated I'll think/act more stand-offish and rude, and that will act as an indicator. I only feel something 'well up' inside me when I'm about to cry, or when I'm hit with a sudden pang of envy, fear, or shock.
Sorry if this isn't helpful. I might have the same issue that you do.

 

[sepulchre]

Hey OP, I think you should look into alexythmia. I have it, too, though it's a little different than yours. Mine is more of an emotional blunting, but it makes dealing with a panic disorder *really* fun. Not! Lol. I just randomly start vomiting with a racing heart and have to ask my SO, "Am I anxious??"

 

[whywere]

With BPD, my emotions can and sometimes are all over the place.

What I dislike and actually harms me is when my emotions are all over the place, I try in generic terms about BPD and get a roll of the eyes, gee that helps.

I am NOT talking about any of the family here, folks that I have to deal with outside of here.

Walter

 

[etherealgoddess]

Genuine question. I only feel things physically, and usually I don't even notice i'm upset until I start crying or having some other physical reaction like nausea or wanting to smile (usually when I'm reading something). Do emotions feel like something other than the physical feeling? Am I supposed to be able to notice what "sadness" is by itself and unattached to my crying? Is it the same with all the other emotions? People describe it as welling up inside them but is that a physical sensation or something else? I don't get it. I don't feel sad but I want to die. I don't feel angry but I'm lashing out and going over ways to hurt people in my head. Isn't that strange?

I've lurked here for a little bit before making an account and I always notice people saying how upset and hopeless they feel. I know it'd probably be bad for me, but at some point I want to know what that feels like. I just want to know what it's supposed to be.

You keep feeling over and over. It's super hard. It's really hard for a few months of doing it regularly. But the reason why it's hard to feel is because you're in a ton of pain.

Feeling means you focus on the sensations in your face, chest, and throat. If you're angry, you can feel it more in your arms and chest. Focus on just feeling the internal sensations. At first, you'll feel nothing. Over time, you'll get better at it. It took me 45 minutes of sitting and focusing on my body before my emotions really came out and could actually be felt. After doing a ton of feeling, I can get emotional in a minute or less. It's hundreds of hours of work.

 

[IWillSurvive]

thank you for how detailed this is, it's super insightful. My feelings are more buried than that I think, even when I'm crying i feel like I barely have a reaction to sadness other than the tears. Anger is easier to place for me, a tightness in my chest, but I also experience it very rarely, so I'm not sure if that's accurate. Happiness for me comes in my reaction to things; the urge to jump around, move, and it brings energy back into my body which is almost never there. I get how people can get addicted to it, but especially when I'm feeling nothing it doesn't make sense to me how that momentary happiness can overshadow everything else. About psychiatry and meds, I did try them but the meds (zoloft and lexapro, not simultaneously) didn't really seem to do much for my mood and my psychiatrist is apparently complete shit (I told my psychologist student friend what she said to me and my friend was super mad at them lol) because why did she sound like she was goading me into suicide T-T but hopefully I'll be able to change to another one that's less shitty soon

I hope you get lucky with the psychiatrist. I do believe it is hard to find a good one.

I'm also sorry to hear that meds didnt quite hit for you. I think they are starting to do something for me (vortioxetine), at least the anhedonia has lessened, dk if thats also an issue for you. I will update you if feelings come back any time soon.

Regarding happiness overshadowing everything else. I will answer with the assumption that your "everything else" is similar to mine, you may interchange it if it doesnt quite talk to your situation:

My "everything else" is a constant emptiness interrumpted mainly by overthinking + annoyance towards having to do mostly anything + guilt about most mistakes I am even tangentially involved in.

I have found that for most people "everything else" does not involve most of that. It mainly involves slight worries + hope to get to do something in the future + a variable amount of peace from their situation.

Then adding that it is not uncommon for them to feel the very addictive happiness that I mentioned in my previous message, and they are also accustomed to the happiness you described to feel from time to time. They dont have many reasons to dislike existance. They have something that moves them, and something that makes them enjoy from time to time. I think thats what differences us.

I tried to verbalize my current beliefs but I understand if you dont feel the same. If you related to it I am glad, but if you didnt just take it as a text I used to think about it in more depth.

 

[FoxSauce]

I usually feel emotions intensly like every sokgle one not everytime but usually. The one I resonate with sadness.

Some emotions can feel too much or like a tornado but the best I can explain is:

happines feels awesome like on a high.
Anger feels unbearable
Fear feels like idk awful- like symptoms of anxiety.


Do I like feeling them no- but im leanirg how to invalidation theought the years does that to you ig.

And the feeling of emptiness is awful too but still and the boredom is awful like annoying.